Beavis: "Shutup Butthead!! emeheh You're wearing one too! bunghole!"
Butthead: "huhhuh huhhuhuh"
McVicker (on the stage): "Uhhhhhhh, I just want to say that I'm proud
of all of you! Uhhhhh, except for 2 of you
who don't deserve to graduate, but now I can
get rid of you...uhhhhhh"
Butthead: "Hey Beavis, I wonder who those 2 dumbasses are?"
Beavis: " meheheh, yeah, they must be losers or something. mehehe"
..................................................................
<note:> To those who have never been in a graduation yet, either
because you're too young....or because you're a dumbass... ;)
When you receive your diploma at graduation, it's just a
blank piece of paper or something - you get the REAL
certificate later.
..................................................................
B&B sit down after receiving their "diploma's"
Beavis looks at his: "Dammit Butthead, this is just a blank piece of paper emehehe dammit!"
Butthead looks at his too: "huhhuh....we got ripped off huhhuhuh"
Beavis: "Dammit, I had to, like, read stuff for this???"
Butthead: "Just think Beavis - now that we're graduates, chicks will want to score with us. huhuhuhuh"
Beavis: "Oh yeah...mehehhe..." (Beavis turns to the girl sitting next
to him) "Howzitgoin? meheh Now that I'm all smart and stuff,
you wanna go do it? mehheheh"
Girl (in disgust): "And just what makes you think YOU'RE so smart?"
Beavis: "emeheheh...check it out... E=MC Hammer...or something! meheh"
Girl: "Ugghh, get away from me, creep!!!"
Beavis: "emehehhe... hey Butthead, I think that chick wants me mehehe"
...................................................................
...................................................................
Many, MANY years later Beavis and Butthead are sitting in the
guidance office at the University of TexASS...
Counselor: "Uhhhhhh, I'm going to approve you losers for graduation
if you'll promise not to come back for a graduate
degree..."
Butthead: "No problem dude, this place sucks anyway. I thought college chicks liked to score all the time..."
A couple of months later at Highland High School...
McVicker: "Uhhhh, what are YOU TWO doing back here??? uhhh uhhhhhh"
Butthead: "We're like, college graduates now..." (They hand him their
blank diplomas from UT - they never knew about picking up
the REAL diplomas later)
"...and like, we're gonna be teachers here now."
Beavis: "Yeah, and we're gonna be COOL teachers too!"
(Beavis remembers a time in class years ago...)
"meheheheh...we're gonna talk about the VAGINA!!! And
the PENIS!!! meheheeheh And MASTURBATION!!!! meheheheh"
McVicker: "uhhhhh uhhhhhhh uuuuhhhhhhhhh"
Butthead: "Yeah dude, and we're gonna teach these kids how to score, and how to drink beer and stuff huhhuhuhh"
Beavis: "meheh... hey Butthead, how can we teach them how to score when we've never-"
Butthead: "Shuttup asswipe!! huhhuhuh"
Beavis: "Oh yeah, sorry about that... emeheheh mehehehhe"
Hey dude, you should have put more than 2 minutes thought into this one, it had potential.
For example, what about dorm life in college?
Beavis and Butt-head are hanging out in "Omega house" on the campus of Whatever Loser University.
"Hey Beavis, those guys in Alpha hosue think they're cool and stuff." "Heheheheheh. Losers!" "Uhhhh, oh yeah. Um, wait. Those guys on the football team, like, they score with the cheerleaders." "Really?? That sucks! I mean, it sucks that we don't!" "Yeah. Those chicks are stuck up." "Meheheheheh! They've been 'stuck up'!" "Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh!" "Hey Butt-head. Check this out." [Beavis goes up to a 2nd story window, opens it, leans out of it backwards and hangs himself out of it by his knees, upside-down.] "HEY FARTKNOCKERS!!!! CAW! CAW! CAW!" [Beavis folds his arms so his hands are in his armpits and proceeds to flap his arms like chicken wings at the jocks.] Jock: "God damn those guys in Omega! I gonna beat 'em up if I get a chance!" [Butt-head aproaches Beavis from inside the room.] "Hey Beavis. What would you do if I unhooked your legs, or something?" "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" [Beavis, in his state of fear, loses control and actually manages to unhook his legs all by himself from the window frame, and then falls down two stories into a clump of shruberry.] "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" <thud> [Beavis stands up, shakes hisd head, and laffs.] "Meheheheheheh! That was cool!" [A girl runs over from Alpha house.] "Oh you por dear thing!!! Are you all right???" "Um, no. I think I hurt myself." "Ohhh dear! Here, let me make it beter. Where does it hurt?" "Mheheheh! Um, like, everywhere." "Ooooooo, let me help you." [She begins rubbing his back.] "Is that nice?" "Uuhhhhhhhhh, yeah, I think. M-heh. Lower." "Oooo, you got a cute butt, hon." "Heheheheheh, and I just washed it this morning too!" "Tee hee, you're a tease! Want to come over to my dorm?" "YEAH! YEAH!" "Well, what're you waiting for? let's go!" "Whoa!" [They leave, holding hands and skipping off to Beta house.] [Butt-head looks wide-eyed out the window.] "WHOA! Beavis is gonna score! Dammit, that should be me!" [Light bulb appears over his head, burns for a few seconds, then fizzles.] "Uhhh, wait a minit, ummm, oh yeah!" [Butt-head leans out the window and falls out of it down two stories.] "UUUUUUUHHH!!!!!!" <thud> "Ouch, or somthing." [A guy from Alpha house comes over and picks him up. It turns out to be Todd.] "I TOLD you guys I was gonna beat the crap out of you somne day!" "Uhhhh, wait a minit..." "And now's as good a time as any!" "Uhhhh..." [Todd smacks the living shit out of him.} "UUUUH!!! AAHHHH!! UHHH!" "There! Now let that be a lesson, you little twerp. Next time you wanna bug us guys in Alpha you're answering to me!" [He leaves.] "That sucked! And I still haven't scored!" [A few hours later, Beavis returns.] "Meheheheheheh!" "Hey Beavis, what happened to you?" "Meheheheh, I did it with that chick!" "You liar, you did not!" "Yes sir! And I got the evidence of the crime!" [Pull a ful used ruber out of his pocket.] "AAAAAH!!! Beavis, that's disgusting! Get rid of that thing. Now!" "Um, OK. Hey Butt-head. You look all in-jured or something. What happened?" "Uh, nothing. I think I fell down and hurt my head. Get that rubber out of my face and into that bathroom. Now!" [beavis leaves with a wicked grin on his face. he returns a few minutes later.] "Beavis, I didn't hear that toilet flush." "Meheheheheheheheheheh!" [Suddenly there is a loud explosion.] <BOOOOMMM!!!!!> [The room fills with a sickening odor.] "<koff koff> UHHH!! Beavis, what the hell did you do!!!????!!" "M-heh! I put some bug bombs in the furnace!" "UHHH! Hmm, that's pretty cool, I guess! You are pretty cool sometimes, Beavis!" "Yeah! And I owe it all to getting laid -- again!" [Music. They sit on the couch watching muasic videos & laffing. Fade.]
In high school, I had my real diploma handed to me. Everyone that walked got it.
However, in a private school or a university where there are like fees to be paid and the such, those who didn't pay up get blank sheets of paper and don't get their real diplomas until they do :)
When I added this story to my webpage, I left out the line about why someone wouldn't have experienced a graduation... some ppl just never bothered to go (eheheh...smart move!) and I also know a couple of ppl that never graduated from anything yet have done quite well in their lives, so....
As far as the 'blank' diploma's... probably small schools give out the real.thing (Actually, I think that was what I got from HS). And as Shawn says, some schools want to make sure you pay up before you get your diploma.
Mostly though, I think the 'blank diploma' setup is to prevent confusion - especially at large schools. Everything is set up in alphabetical order. If just one person doesn't show up for graduation, everyone after the missing person could possibly get the wrong diploma.
When I was away at school a year ago, on one of the walls in one of the toilet stalls, someone had scrawled "Specs Howard Diplomas: Take One", with an arrow pointing at the TP dispenser.
Meheheheheh, three composers went to the Vienna Conservatory in late 19th Century Europe. One was Gus Mahler. He went on to become an opera conductor and composer of huge symphonies and marrie this cool chick named Alma. The next one was Hugo Wolf, who told Brahms to fuck off when JB dissed his music, but then went loony and had to be incarcerated. The third was Hans Rott, who took Brahms carping so much to heart that he had to be incarcerated soon thereafter, and used his song manuscripts to wipe his ass! (Hey, that much of Ken Russell's film on Mahler is true!)