The Year of the Monkey

Honourable GenitalMen

As you'll know it is the begining of the new year, celebrated by billions of chinese, gun toting convenience store owners and Connie Chung. This year is the year of the monkey, a most venerated beast, like the snake and the dolphin. I call upon you at various times of the day to retired to your temples, lock the door and to give praise to your monkeys, beating them so they may be reminded of your need for good fortune...

As Confucious once said 'Fool chases sheep, Wise man spanks monkey. Where are my crispy noodles?'

Mao Tse-Tung wrote many passages on these virtues in his inspirational book 'Chairman Mao's Glorious Wood.'

Shortly we hope China will be able to boast the first man to spank his monkey in space, a most valuable prize. Buzz Aldrin is offering us technical advice...

TYDT

But, Craptain, I have no monkey. What am I to do?

Wow, that's deep. He has, like, a way with words and stuff.

"Jeni" wrote in message news:[email]...

praise to

Wait for the year of the kitten.

spanks

stuff.

You can't doubt their wisdom, One billion Chinese can't be Wong. Sorry, that was childish.

TYDT

And yet it still made me laugh. I am totally immature.

"Jeni" wrote in message news:[email]...

be

Totally?

Do you live in the valley? In the words of Frank (and Moon Unit) Zappa...

Ok, fine, for sure, for sure, she's a valley girl and there's no cure. Oh my god!

TYDT

"Roy Batty" wrote in message news:...

Totally!

Oh my god! Dude, I grew up in El Cajon which is like, you know - if you live in San Diego it's so funny 'cause it's like, San Diego's version of the Valley - so yeah! it's like I'm totally a valley girl at heart.

OK, now the funny/sad thing is that I didn't have to strain my brain at all to write that. It's probably the closest thing to the way I sound that I've ever posted. Hhmm...

I'm gonna go watch Clueless now! Bye-eee.

I have a monkey you can spank. No charge, baby. See, problem solved!