shocking announcement

Well, I was hoping to avoid announcing this, but I am actually the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.

It's true. We were secretly engaged too. I was hoping to keep this all quiet, but now I'm forced to go public with it, because that bunghole Howard Stern is trying to horn in and steal all the money she got from that old dude. Some people can be just so greedy.

You may hear some unscrupulous people claim that I'm making this all up, but you will see, when the judge rules I will be vindicated. Naturally I'm not interested in any of the money for myself, I would just use it for the baby.

Now my lawyer wants me provide a DNA sample... I'm not sure why. So, I'm headed out to the tool shed for while. Later.

CyberButt

On Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:21:33 -0500, CyberButt wrote:

You're a liar. I'm the father. I'm not that greedy either, the following will be enough: take a chekboard and put 1$ on the first square, then double it for the next square and so on. You should like pay attention and stuff.

Of course my attorney will ask me for a dna test. The problem is I was born before that dna dude, so I don't have any.

On Sat, 17 Feb 2007 22:00:21 GMT, Abraham Simpson wrote:

Um... let's see... the board has 69 squares, that's uh, carry the 5...

Dammit, are your trying to trick me Abe???

I understand completely. You know, you can get viagra on the internet now, maybe that will help.

On Sat, 17 Feb 2007 19:26:05 -0500, CyberButt wrote:

Of course not. What's your credit card number, btw? I need some honey mush. And nachos, lot of nachos.

Viagra? That new south american singer you mean, J.Viagra?

"CyberButt" wrote in message news:[email]...

Howard Stern is too bust banging Beth O to mess around with some skank ho like the late Anna Nich-hole. And Howard K...just a wanna be Stern. So, I guess that leaves you as the baby daddy. Congrats on the Offspring. Pretty fly, for a white guy!

Hopefully they don't get the sample from the toolshed. I cant afford the DNA related pa-turn-ity lawsuit. I wasn't me, it was, like, some other kids.

So,

On Sat, 17 Feb 2007 22:29:07 -0500, King Turd wrote:

It wasn't mr. Anderson.

Yes, it was: Mr. Anderson saw her on TV, got all horny and spanked off into an envelope, then sent it to Anna Nicole Smith's house. When she opened the letter, Anderson's spooge jumped out ambush-style (it's that WWII training), splatted her right in the face, then charged down her shirt, into her panties and up her meathole. The baby's first words were, "When a man builds a new pool cabana, there's some things he just can't do by himself."

On Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:21:33 -0500, CyberButt wrote:

Well dang it. That judge down there in Florida isn't giving me custody of the money, uh I mean the baby. I was watching it all on tv, that judge even referred to the baby as Dannilynn K-Stern, wth? That judge is a whining snivelling wussie. I just wish we had a Florida cop on this chat board who could go down there to the courthouse with his nightstick and beat the living crap out of that judge and then throw him in prison for being such an aggravating wussie.

CyberButt

"CyberButt" wrote in message news:[email]...

I just wish we had a

I know a guy who can break his kneecaps Tonya Harding style.

On Sun, 25 Feb 2007 19:47:16 -0500, "King Turd" wrote:

Use the tazer on 'im! THE TAZER! THE TAZER!!