MY NEW FAVORITE NEWSGROUP

In article , [email] (Matthew Carey) wrote:

Alright, alright.... in a drunken stupid state after not sleeping for 36 hours, I, Allison Buttland, Queen of Buttland, was trolled. Instead of blushing with embarrassment, I will take the advantage of my wonderful knights and let them have some fun... Sir Ass-Kicker, Sir Spanks-A-Lot, General Spankmaster and my dear Prince Consort... OFF WITH HIS WEINER!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, and his mom is over there........

Allison Buttland Queen Of Buttland Buttland

"If you're not a cartoon, stove gas will kill you."

ALT.TV.BEAVIS-N-BUTTHEAD is the only group that makes any god damn SENSE!!

(Except alt.slack. But those people have a tendency to be, well, a little IMMATURE at times. I much prefer the wit and sophistication of ALT.TV.BEAVIS-N-BUTTHEAD .... hHIP HIP HOREAYYYYY!!!!!!)

Judith Martin ([email]) wrote:

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YOU'RE NOT REALLY MISS MANNERS!!!!!! If you were, you'd know enough to wrap your fucking lines.

[email] (David Lynch) wrote:

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Right you are son! So says my new netiquette manual, "MIND YOUR LENGTH AND YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE," page 23.

Sincerely yours, Emily Poster

enough to

LENGTH

Dearest Emily,

It is truly heartening to see one extend professional courtesy in matters dealing with the genetically challenged. Miss Manners is reminded of another heading in the aforementioned netiquette manual that Mister Lynch may find of some interest: "Cleansing the Gene Pool -- Death by One's Own Hand." Etiquette truly plays a role in every aspect of social conduct.

Miss Manners

P.S. One would note, Mister Lynch, that slitting one's wrists via WeedWhacker (TM) is certainly a novel means of sloughing off one's mortal coil. Miss Manners also adds that the etiquette-conscious individual does so outdoors, and not before thoughtfully laying tarpaulins down beforehand so as to facilitate greater ease of postmortem cleanup.

Dearest Em,

Miss Manners has become so jaded from her years cooordinating donkey shows in Tijuana that equine etiquette is no longer of interest to her. One would do well to find oneself a sense of humor. It might help to pick up one's flagging sales.

Kicking your posterior at the book store registers, Miss Manners

[email] (Missy) wrote:

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I'm only out of style because I've been dead longer than you. The most polite dead folks are humourless.

Yawns, Emily Poster

On Tue, 16 Jan 1996 04:40:09 GMT, MegEliz ([email]) wrote:

Miss Manners is quite alive and kicking. Crack does wonders for one's constitution. That, and the occasional 8-ball.

Precisely, gentle reader, precisely.

Miss Manners

On Mon, 8 Jan 1996 16:11:22 GMT, David Lynch ([email]) wrote:

enough to

Miss Manners has committed a minor faux pas in not wrapping her "fucking" lines, and for that she wishes to thank the charming microencephalic rodent who wasted perfectly good electrons in the transmission of his helpful correction. Miss Manners desires that you someday find yourself sharing an 8x8 prison cell (tastefully accoutred in only the finest concrete fixtures) with Bubba the man-pussy afficionado. Note that it is not proper for one to refuse Bubba's request to "bend over, bitch, and take it like the dog you are."

Miss Manners

Gentle Reader,

Miss Manners commends you on your sterquilinian bon-mot. Your command of Taber's Medical Encyclopedia lends your repartee a charming, droll character. Allow Miss Manners to suggest a delightful cocktail consisting of equal parts halazepam, prazepam, chlordiazepoxide, and ricin. Mix well and enjoy, Mister Not-Bob.

Miss Manners

In article , [email] (David Lynch) wrote:

(helpful advice to some dumb choad deleted)

Yes it is too Miss Manners. It's just that being so polite for a living gets a bit rough from time to time, and this is just Judy's way of letting her hair down. Best to just let her blow her stack, if you will.

P.S. I knew there had to be *some* kind of connection...

In article ,

Well, welcome Matthew! Welcome to Buttland! Feel free to live, prosper and enjoy Buttland for all its buttsworth! If you have any questions about Buttlife, feel free to console our very own Spankmaster General and Prince Consort of Buttland... also, if anyone uncool gives you trouble, leave it to Sir Ass-Kicker and Sir Spanks-A-Lot, our two very loyal and fufilling (uh huh huh) knights. So welcome, and may the Butt be with you...

Queen Allison Buttland

"If you're not a cartoon, stove gas will kill you."

[email] (Judith Martin) wrote:

Pardon me, Miss Manners, but I must protest your presumption that we in alt.slack are "poseur circle-jerks." In fact, we are fully qualified circle-jerkers and many of us find your characterization as amateurs or dilletantes, quite offensive.

very sincerely yours, Rev. Mutha T.

Miss Manners,

Though I sincerely appreciate your best wishes, I must point out that my clitoris is not clinically hypertrophied, but rather the result of a religious experience not unlike the stigmata ( with a great deal more associated pleasure.) I would be happy to suggest the address of a qualified SubGenius Doktor who can aid in your own "adjustment", so to speak.

best wishes, Rev. Mutha T.

On Tue, 16 Jan 1996 01:46:25 GMT, Franz Schwarz

<snip -- waxing eloquent on matters pertaining to her vivacious clitoris>

Indeed. :) Take just about all postings from atbnbh with a grain of salt.

The Divine Miss M

Cool, they like gotta post here more often so I can like...uhh..you know.."work the magic" with a little Spanish Fly.

Hey Beavis you distract her and I'll put it in her taco.

No way dude, you like gotta give her the Spanish Fly first.

In a previous article, [email] (Allison Buttland) says:

Actually, no, that wasn't a troll.

[email] (Matthew Carey) wrote:

my favorite newsgroup is alt.politics.white-power, and alt.slack is a close second.

rc