so i like went for a walk and stuff, you know, outdoors, around the crappy town where i used to live when i was like uh, beavis, about uh a hundred years ago or something, the place was freaky, all the streets are like, in the same places, but uh the houses are like all fixed up and stuff, it's like people have money now, to uh buy things, like porsche suvs and color coordinated mulch and other obnoxious crap, but anyway, the people are mostly friendly, they say hello and stuff, things are going ok, then uh, so anyway like way up ahead up the street i see this dude trying to like start a lawnmower, but it isn't starting, so i start saying stuff like "YEAH YEAH PULL IT" not like he can hear me or anything, so uh i'm like getting closer and the dude stands up and he's like mega-tall, like seven feet, and skinny, and he's got like white hair, looks like a human q-tip or something, so all of a sudden i realize HOLY CRAP that's the same exact dude who used to live in that house, only he's like mega-old now, that's odd enough by itself, but then right after that i remember that he was like, the dude who tried to get me started in the lawnmowing business way back in like the sixties, can you dig it, and i was thinking it was quite odd to see him messing around with a lawnmower, like an ironic or something, but then, like i'm still walking and getting closer and stuff, then i remember a horrible event of cataclysmic proportions that had happened, this dude had a crappy old two stroke (hehe stroke) mower, and he like went into all this detail (back then) about how to mix the oil and gas exactly right, it was all science or something, so i got started mowing and everything was ok, i got about halfway done, and like it ran out of gas, uh the mower did, so i looked for the dude and he had like went to the store or something, or a bar probably, anyway he wasn't there, so i like put in some more gas, then i remembered the oil, so i dumped in like, uh, too much, like about a quart or something, the mower started up ok and ran perfect, well uh for about three seconds then BLAM there was a huge cloud of oily smoke and uh, it totally died on me, and that was the end of my lawnmowing career, after a while the dude got back from wherever he was, and he was mad as hell, he was just about to flog the crap out of me, but i took off and beat it, just beat it, and like never went back, so anyway where was i, oh yeah, walking down the street in like the present and stuff, well like a week ago anyway, so anyway i'm getting worried that this dude is going to like remember me and start yellng and stuff, but then he stands up again (the mower is still not started), and like he's all white and all of a sudden i realize OH MY GOD IT'S A FREAKING GHOST AND HE'S STILL HERE TRYING TO START THE DAMN GHOST OF THE DEAD MOWER THAT I KILLED ALL THOSE YEARS AGO i turned around and ran like hell and i'm still running and OH MY GOD HOLY CRAP IT'S HIM HE FOUND ME AND HE'S GOT THE MOWE
help
[email] wrote:
Whoa dude...you need to, like, change positions (ha ha) on the couch and start a new dream. I'm kinda partial to the Star Trek dreams with Counselor Cleavage...and making it go "that way".
It sounds like you fired your retro-rockets early when you switched positions.
[email] wrote:
Fire early, fire often. There's more where that came from.
wrote in message news:[email]...
That was your first mistake. You should have just stayed home, watched TV, drank edge, and ate nachos. That ruled by the way.
Thanks KT. I'm home now, I got a dozen donuts, hot coffee, and uh homemade pizza. Well after I make it that is.
wrote in message news:[email]...
Donuts and pizza rule. Just a small tit-bit of advice, but maybe next time you should score your blotter from a different dude, I think maybe the oil/acid ratio of that last hit was mixed wrong.
[email] wrote:
donuts, coffee and pizza? I'm done!
Whoa! You just described my life perfectly! :-0
[email] wrote:
That was a cool story. *The Evil Lawnmower Man*