Ron Jeremy Interviewed

I was sitting down watching a talkshow on the TV and wondering who was going to be on next...

Some washed up poltician, trying to save himself by playing for laughs? Some new Pop Idol who sounds like she was programmed by the moonies? Some actor promoting his crap new film that hasn't got fire and thingies?

Instead it was Ron Jeremy. He was smart, he was funny, he had a 9 & 3/4" schlong. He made a fool of the talkshow host, who didn't have the good sense to say 'John Holmes had a bigger one than you...'

TYDT

"Roy Batty" wrote in message news:...

Ah ha ha. See? Ron Jeremy. He likes whipping it out.

If I had a 9 & 3/4" schlong I could be very absent minded, opening the door in the morning, parent teacher meetings, group photos, flag days, weddings and funerals. No bad time to accidentally 'not retract the undercarraige'.

Sensitive topics from the interview were...

Doing an 84 year old (she danced around to arouse him. You could not have enough fluffers for a gig like that) Doing a girl while she barfed over the side of the ship, suffering from seasickness.

I'm sure these weren't his career highlights.

He remarked that he gave men confidence, after all he looks like a partially shaved fat buffalo but rogers all these women. Yup, until they show a picture of his dong.

I've got some stuff I bought off core_dump on the internet, I'll be huge one day too...

TYDT

"Roy Batty" wrote in message news:bq2ri9$gcc$[email]...

I once saw a picture of that dude performing oral on himself. We joke around about that kind of crap on here, but it was pretty foul to see for real.

"King Turd" wrote in message news:Of9xb.793$[email]...

In the interview, the subject was mentioned. He said that although most people tried to do it, and most were thwarted because of 'lack of reach' he said it wasn't as nice as you'd think. He said

"One half of you thinks, great, someone is sucking my shnitzle*. The other half thinks, uhhh theres a shnitzle in my mouth...'

He kept using some sort of yiddish word for his penis, I can't remember which. If you meet a new yorker, or go down to one of those Miami condos for old people, I'm sure they'd tell you what it is...

TYDT

he

I would think the 2nd half would make the shnitzle that that the 1st half was enjoying, a bit limp.

for

Putz? Schmuck? Shvantz?

"King Turd" wrote in message news:...

That's what impresses me about it (if 'impress' is the word to use). Now that's flexibility.

Uh, yeah?

There were rumours that Prince had ribs removed so he could do it. I guess Wiener enlargements just don't work. And how flexible are you?

TYDT

"Roy Batty" wrote in message news:...

If you're subtly trying to ask me if I can perform oral sex on myself...the answer is no.

If you're subtly trying to ask me if I have a schlong...the answer is still no.

Some questions have to be asked. The second one didn't occur to me - until I was watching TV the other day and they were talking about Jamie-Lee Curtis and rumours that she was a HEM-AFRO-DYKE or something and I thought NO WAY. I mean her face ain''t great but her thingies are 1st class. So what I mean to say is that the old rule of great thingies, no schlong doesn't seem to apply any more. Is nothing simple???

Anyway, I guess it's good news that you're not self-suck-ish-ent in the oral department. I just need a tidal wave to wash you off that San Diego beach o England...

Is it too much to ask???

TYDT

"Roy Batty" wrote in message news:...

I laughed so hard through that post I started choking....meh heh heh - my chicken.

I guess since I spend so much time in the water lately anything is possible. Maybe someday I'll just float my way to England. At least that way I won't have to worry about the dangers of travel pooping.

word to use).

could do it. I guess

you?

urban myths, hehh.

Yeah, and Don Ameche, I heard he had it, Mary Tyler Moore, Animal from the muppets, Col Oliver North and Peter Jennings.

Yeah. generic "insert name here" urban myths are cool

TYDT