Sheriff Beanflicker

I was reading about the depravity in Californicator, in particular San Francisco. Besides the gay marraiges there's grumbling bacause all the top jobs - Major, Head of Police, Head of Fire Department etc. have gone to women. One Sheriff has found he has been given a lesbian deputy and sensibly fears for his job.

Personally, I'd be fearing for my life if I lived in an earthquake zone and the fire chief was a woman.

CBS News        'What would you do in the event of a fire or
earthquake?'
Ms. Fire Chief   'I'd flap my arms and scream'
CBS News        'Doesn't that make you unsuitable for the
job of fire chief'
Ms. Fire Chief  'You're a male chauvinist meat eating
fascist pig'
Deputy Sheriff    'I'll take over from here - OK girls, full
cavity search...'

I think Whamee should for safety's sake move to another state. Like England...

TYDT

Doesn't it rain a lot? Then I'd be wet all the time...wait a minute that's not a bad thing. OK, I'll start packing. I'm moving to the state of England everybody!

"Jeni" wrote in message news:[email]...

time...wait a minute

moving to the

Bring your kitten. And some nachos. I'm not sure ours are the same. Nachos that is...

No way. You should move to Florida. Things in Fl, such as King Turd, are sure to make you wet all the time too. And, as an added bone-us, you could crash at the swinging turd pad. And you can drive your tank here. You'd have to put your tank on a ferry (which is gay in itself) to get it to limeyland. I'll keep the light on for you. What kind of beer you would like me to get so we can get the party started when you get here?

"King Turd" wrote in message news:1IQ1c.45058$[email]...

time...wait a minute

moving to the

as King Turd, are

bone-us, you could

tank here. You'd

to get it to

beer you would

get here?

Whoooaaa hold on a minute, Florida might make you wet, but that's just before you get hit by a hurricane or eaten by a crocodile. To make matters worse you'll have to crap in the kitty litter. I'm sure if you're hanging around the place you'll only end up in big cat fights with the Princess/Queen too. Preferably in bikinis. That would be cool....

Take a plane to the UK where the beer is warm and the days are cold. And if the ferrys are gay (Bryan Ferry???) have your tank sent FedEx..Even FedEx can't lose a tank.

TYDT

I'm not that into chicks fighting. Call me a hippie, but I find it much more entertaining when chicks 'love' each other. Sans bikinis.

Dammit, Roy, don't you know how to turn chicks on? She already told us that driving a tank over stuff makes her horny. So flying to the UK and shipping the Love Tank FedEx would be pointless. She needs to drive that thing. Straight over here. Now. Besides, FedEx can lose stuff, didn't you see that movie about that dude who gets stranded on a dessert island and hangs out with a beach ball?

I find it much

bikinis.

I don't think the bikinis should stay on for long in a proper chick fight. And if they do they should be stopped and told to try harder. There's always the hope that when they're tired, sweaty and emotional afterwards they'll kiss and make up or out or something...

already told us that

the UK and shipping

drive that thing.

didn't you see

island and hangs

England is much more densely populated that the USA and our roads are narrower and more congested. A tank can get far more write-offs and fatalities per mile over here than anywhere else on earth, except Hong Kong and maybe some shopping malls. Losing the tank would be a bitch, but we have plenty spare as that faggot Blair wants some more army cuts again. She'd prefer the Challanger II tank anyways as the RPG's bounce off rather them than go straight through, like on the Abrams.

I haven't seen that film, there was an English film with almost the same name 'Castaways' made in 1987. It featured Amanda 'LA Lesbian Law' Donohoe and some fat old man on a desert island. Apart from a few boring bits at the begining and the end she wore no clothes all the way through. That film ruled. When I saw a film with the same name with Tom Hanks and a coconut on a desert island I thought it was not the film for me.

I kinda hope they left him there though, especially with that stupid moustache he wears these days....

TYDT

"Roy Batty" wrote in message news:...

You implying I'm not gonna be drinking my way across the country? That's just not the kind of drive you can take sober.

You had me up until the warm beer and cold days. Why can't you guys just come to Californication? We're the laid back freaks--just the place to be for the parties that never stop.

country?

Drunk in charge of a tank? I'd like to see the 'Heroes of the Highway Patrol' program they make about that.

can't you guys

freaks--just the

Call us retentive, uptight, boring etc. We just think that living on a fault line with crips, bloods, mexican nationalists, the russian mafia and the Terminator for governor is just plain stupid. We have cold beer. If you the leave the bottles outside they seem to get pretty cold.

TYDT

"Roy Batty" wrote in message news:...

No way! I'd squish the footage along with the cop car when I run it over. They can't get nothing on me.

Huh huh, yeah...California's cool.

Okay okay, you got me there. Actually there is a few beers I like at room temperature, like Amber Bock. It seems to bring out the flavor better.

But I'm not a queer or anything. :P

"Jeni" wrote in message news:[email]...

Ohhhh, yeah, what was I thinking. A cooler full of beer is a must for a cross country demolition derby in a tank.

See, all the more reason to come to Florida and party with me. Cold beer and warm days. No limey weather here. Its no wonder the Smiths and that Morrisey dude whine so much, UK's bad weather and warm beer would bum me out too. I did go to Californication, remember? I went to the beach looking for you, all the laid back freaks, hippies, potheads, and parties that never stop, but all I saw were mostly drunk homeless dudes on the beach rambling on about football. Football sucks. And homeless drunk dudes rambling on about it sucks worse. And the gas was really expensive which pissed me off. Thats why you need to come here. Gas for your army tank is like half of what it costs there, and theres plenty of slow moving old people clogging up the roads for tank-targets.

me. Cold beer

Smiths and that

beer would bum me out

the beach looking

parties that never

the beach rambling

dudes rambling on

which pissed me off.

is like half of

people clogging up

Morrisey is not miserable, he always looks on the bright side of life...

'If a ten tonne truck, killed the both of us, to die by your side, the pleasure is all mine' (There is a light that never goes out.)

Now that's seeing the advantages in the worst things that can happen. And he sings a lot about thingies. So lay off about Morrisey, you've got Leonard Cohen (really miserable) James Taylor (stop whining) and Randy Newman (sounds like a muppet, probably why he does all the Pixar films). They all suck and are valid reasons to immigrate.

Petrol is really expensive here. But say you don't pay, what are they going to do? You've got a tank. And Florida can cope with their own old people, crocodiles must get hungry. Maybe old people are too chewy.

So if a forty tonne tank, killed the both of us. That would really suck.

TYDT

"King Turd" wrote in message news:...

You mean that 2.2 seconds you were in San Diego? If memory serves I was out of town anyway. You have to stay long enough to get your groove on.

This is true. When you're driving by Arco and you think "Oh, gas is only $2.15 there" it's time to think about moving...to a place with slow moving targets, meh heh.

See, all the more reason to come down to sunny Florida and do me, baby. Do me baby, do me baby. Gas is only like $1.75 and theres plenty of old slow targets. Sometimes they move, but usually they just sit too long when the light turns green.