Michele La Wansktress, Keeper of Buttland Holidays, dicklares:
Dammit dammit dammit, I missed Cinco De Nacho, Buttland's favorite food holiday. Damn. Well, to make up for it, May, uh, 32nd is now "Buttland National Get More Fiber Day". On this day we eat the traditional foods of All Bran, 100% Bran, Fiber Flakes, Fruit N' Fiber, soy beans (the most gaseous of the legume family), and top it all off with a few glasses of Metamucil mixed with prune juice. The tricky part is waiting for the traditional midnight Poop-Mass. Then when we all hear the melodious synchronized flushings and sighs of relief of all Buttland, we know that we are cosmically linked to the Great Bunghole in the Sky. (Be sure to stock up on traditional Fiber Day decorative TP, and gather 'round the toilet with the family to sing Crapmass Carols.)
Sung to the tune of Good King Wencslas:
Poop poop poop poop poop, poop poop Poop poop, poop poop, poop poop!
ehemehe... thankyoudrivethrough.
-Michele La Wankstress Keeper of Buttland Holidays