I'm back, Baby!

Hi guys!

Okay, it wasn't completely horrible, butt, like, it still sucked and stuff. It only rained that morning so at least we didn't get rained on, butt I burned pretty badly even though I was under a umbrella or in the shade like 99.9 percent of the time. I don't want to bitch, but for various reasons these trips gets worse every year, so next year about this time I demand that the members (meh heh) of this board organize a rescue commitee to cum and kidnap me so I don't have to go.

Although there was this one cool thing. One of the toilets didn't flush...well, okay, sidestory about that: I think it was one of those trick toilets because sometimes when I was in that bathroom I'd hear flushing coming from that stall, butt then at other times it wouldn't seem to work for the people who were in there, and both my sister and I fell victim to that the first time we used that stall--separately, not together--so I'm convinced the toilet was alive and very judgemental about whose crap it'd take. Anyway, so there was a log in there that was all puffy and was falling apart at the edges, so that was pretty cool. I thought of going back and taking a picture to show you guys but by then it was gone. I think it was getting too wrinkly so it got out and walked away. Come to think of it, I do seem to remember some commotion on the beach about a great white turd that was hunting surfers...

And thanks for all the concern, butt we were camping at the beach, no wild thingy-groping bears or toilets that go thud.

There's always next year.

...Not to sound like an old man who's got a story for every occasion, but did I ever tell you about the time we were camping in the mountains and my sister and I were in the turds-that-go-thud bathroom at night and since we had our flashlights, for some reason we decided to shine our lights down into the hole. I really don't know why we did that, we just looked at each other and without saying a word we just simultaneously decided to shine our lights down in the hole whereupon we seen a nice big, glistening lizard looking back at us. Apparently, he figured out the choicest flys lived down there and moved in.

So that's camping for ya. Next year I plan to be kidnapped.

On Mon, 03 Sep 2007 02:16:22 -0700, [email] wrote:

Hi Whamee! Great story! (Especially all the stuff about the turds.)

I'm glad you're back and you didn't die or anything. Sorry to hear about your thingies getting burned though.

CyberButt

Thank you, meheheh, drive thru.

Funny thing about getting burned. Now I'm all itchy and I hafta take a spatula everywhere I go. Totally thins out the lines at Burger World though.

[email] wrote:

Uhhhhh......hey Whamee.... you're camping at the beach? Well, HELLO...I live at the beach! Next year, just tell them you're going to camp at the alt.beach with Argy. I'll even pitch a tent for you! meheheh

PS - send pics....Mr.Mix-a-Plix requested one.

You are absolutely correct, FB! There are always many worthwhile thingies to count at Virginia Beach. I plan to go there today.... heheh - only 4 minutes on bicycle.

  :-D

PS - we may get some semi-hurricane weather late Sunday ant Monday. :-O

Whoa, that's cool. Once upon a time I lived at Little Creek NAB. I was like, in the Army and stuff, but had to live with a bunch of dorky Seamen...heh heh...heh heh heh heh...hrrrmm. VA Beach is very cool in its touristy tackiness. It, like, doesn't try to hide what it is, it just makes the most of it.

Whoa!~ When I first moved here in 1972, I shared a condo with 3 Army dudes. They were all stationed at Fort Story. They all hated the army so none reinlisted then they all moved away the next year.

VaBeach sucks actually. For anyone that wants a beach vacation, it's a bad choice, imo. Very little green space left now...I need to move somewhere else.

Damn...you're older than Abe. Do you need any chores done? Proud member of the "fool me once" FTA crew myself :-).

Fort Story cracks me up. Since when is three buildings and a lighthouse a "Fort"? I mean, sure...when you're 9 that would be a pretty cool fort.

Still a cool place to get crappy cherry pancakes at some tourist pancake house on the strip the morning after the night before :-).

Well, officially it's an amphibious vehicle base. I think that's the main issue. However, I've always suspected there is more to it than we are told. There are many secret bunkers underneath the sand dunes on that base. While running or bike riding, I've seen many. But, of course, I couldn't see what's in them.

I'll bet you that during the cold war they were monitoring for secret Russian submarines sitting off the coast by the entrance to the Chesapeake Bay.

Anyway, storm is getting stronger. we are looking at nothing serious but some strong winds and rain in the next 24 hours.

I've been up in the *old* lighthouse a few times. Great view, that's for sure.

Yeah, I've seen the big-ass hovercraft farting around. Just think of the fun you could have driving down the middle of Shore Drive cruising for chicks with one.

Uhhh...hey baby...check out my big-ass floaty thing.

Makes sense. There's a lot of hidden Seamen around there.

Nothing funny about the military, boys.

My two oldest boys are in the Army. My oldest is over in Baghdad, and will be gone 16+ months. He's turned 24 this summer and in the National Guard. He will be guarding a tower in some palace in Baghdad. He says it's like 130 degrees there everyday. He's seen lots of camels, an an albino one. (I didn't know they existed.) and survived his first sandstorm a few weeks ago. He says sand is everywhere and can spit sand out at any given moment.

My middle son is 21 and is in a POW training program right now for a month, and I am anxiously waiting to hear from him when he's done with that.

I wish like hell this war will end so I can have all my boys back home safe and sound. I can't wait until they are all home so we can throw a BIG party.

With the hard stuff? Did they ever see SGT Dick Leakey, or MAJ Woody, or PVT Parts, or any of those guys? When I was in the Army everybody seemed to know them, but they were never around. Whenever I asked for them I got sent to find the ID-10-T forms.

On Sun, 9 Sep 2007 16:43:17 -0500, [email] (maiden of mayhem) wrote:

Well, we're all with you, maiden. I sure hope this Iraq operation can end before too much longer.

Our military forces have a tough job over there, and they are performing it very well, IMO. It was the politicians who screwed up and turned it into a big mess. We should all be very grateful for our soldiers sweating and fighting for us over there.

You should be real proud of those boys. Tell 'em thanks for me.

CyberButt

Huh huh...old. I didn't know there were Love Shacks on Guam. Those chicks were probably fun to work on, though.

Well...if they're married it's only common courtesy to wear out the wife first. If she doesn't wanna...like...do it...then I guess there's always the spare in the trunk. So can you injure your nads with over-pressure if they don't get used enough? I wonder if Army guys get so much pressure built up that one hard smack to the nads from an out-of-place magazine pouch could pop one when they hit the dirt? That would suck.

Maybe Sarge gives them some spanking time between patrols to make sure that doesn't happen. Huh huh...this is my weapon, this is my gun...huh huh huh huh...this one's for spanking, this one's for...wait a minute...uhhh, this one's...never mind...just close the test flap on your way out.

On Sep 11, 7:34 am, Stewart Stevenson wrote:

Talk about Beavis and Butt-head dammit!

[email] wrote:

Squint a little harder and you'll be able to see them.

I'm sure the real Beavis and Butthead are somewhere in Iraq right now, except Butthead might have washed out in Basic and be holding down the fort at Burger World while Beavis kicks some ass without him. They probably still get together once in a while when Beavis has leave and get some Edge and some nachos and talk about the old days. Then when Butthead starts to get fitshaced he probably starts talking smack and Beavis has to kick him in the nads and leave...

On Wed, 12 Sep 2007 08:43:52 -0700, [email] wrote:

Ok buttmunch... check this out: