Michele La Wankstress, Keeper of Buttland Holidays, dicklares this next Friday to be: Best Friend Day. Okay, so it's a wussy name for a holiday, but here's the idea: everyone (everyone cool, anyway) had a friend at some time that taught them cool stuff and got them into trouble. This is the day to remember that person and laugh like hell. (And to remember the BnB Xmas special- if your best friend had never been born, would you have ended up being friends with *Stewart*?!?)
My best friend I met in sixth grade (yeah, I made it *that* far) and on the first day that I met her she pinned her little sister down on the carpet and *cut one* right on her head! I was stunned and amazed at her coolness. Over the years (and there were a lot of them, 'cause we're OLD, huh huh huh...) she got me to do things that got me busted more times than I can count. (Um, I can too count... shut up fartknocker!) Raise a glass of whatever the hell it is you drink to whoever got you to do stuff that kept you from ending up a big wuss.
(P.S.- She's got a baby girl now, and she watches Beavis and Butthead with the kid when she wakes up at night. Nice to know she's being raised in correct Buttland style.)
-Michele La Wankstress Keeper of Buttland Holidays