The Great Cornholio commands you!!!

Last night, The Great Cornholio himself appeared before me and expressed his extreme displeasure with the behavior of persons in this newsgroup. He has given me his 10 commandments and has ordered me to pass them on to all who read this group and demand that they be followed in order to keep this newsgroup free of clutter.

The Great Cornholio has spoken!!!

1.  Before posting to this newsgroup, thou shalt familiarize thyself with
    all information included in the "Beavis and Butt-Head Frequently Assed
    Questions," a copy of which can be obtained by mailing a request to
    [email].

• Thou shalt not post really lame and unfunny imitations of Beavis and Butt-Head simply for the sake of posting them.

3.  Thou shalt not post a follow-up simply to say, "He said 'wood'" or
    similar remarks.  All follow-ups must add to the conversation in some
    way.

• Thou shalt not post copies of the B&BH FAQ or Episode Guide without permission from the authors.

5.  Thou shalt not post corrections to the FAQ or Episode Guide.  Instead,
    thou shalt reply directly to the appropriate author, and in doing so,
    thou shalt include only those parts of the aforementioned FAQ or
    Episode Guide to which the corrections are to be made.

• Never shalt thou post .WAV files to this newsgroup.

7.  Thou shalt not nitpick Beavis and Butt-Head episodes, or point out
    errors or inconsistencies in them, as such behavior serves only to
    detract from others' enjoyment of the show.

8.  In the event of a flamebaiter on this newsgroup, thou shalt send at
    least one nasty reply, or post at least one follow-up, but be warned
    that all follow-ups must make a complete and total mockery of the
    flamebaiter involved.  Never shalt thou make fun of another who posts
    a rebuttal to a flamebaiter, for to do so is to swear loyalty and
    allegiance to those who hate the show.

• Thou shalt mail MTV ([email]) and complain loudly about every incident of censorship you notice on the show.

10.  Thou shalt not reply to or comment on this message in any way,
     including e-mail, follow-ups, or references in other threads, except
     to let others know when they have broken one or more of these
     commandments.  To do otherwise is to question the infinite wisdom
     of the almighty Cornholio!!

Violation of any of these commandments shall result in the offending party's immediate exile from Lake Titicaca, and subsequently shall all offenders face imprisonment for life, with no TP for their bunghole!!

The Great Cornholio has spoken!!!!!

Christopher E. Forman ([email]) wrote:

I question your vision. It was not the Great Cornholio who appeared to you, but rather your own bunghole, your angry bunghole, seeking T.P.

The Great Cornholio appeared to me and gave only two simple words of wisdom:

RULES SUCK!!!

Really. Some of those rules are just plain ridiculous and subjective. 40 posts a day is not unmanageable even if it is half junk.

Do we really have a problem here? More importantly, "are you threatening me?"

drewbob

In article ,

[much gibberish deleted]

Are you threatening me?

In article , [email] (Christopher E. Forman) wrote:

These rules suck. Change it...

(and minus two points for failing to include "Are you threatening me?" and "Do not make my bunghole angry>")

[email] (Christopher E. Forman)writes:

How shall we define "flamebaiter"? Is that someone who posts a lot of crappy rules which we're to follow?

[email] (Maguman) writes:

He's like, a masterflamebaiter. Heh heh heh.

In article , [email] (Christopher E. Forman) says:

(Like..a bunch of crappy rules deleted)

BLOW IT UP YOUR ASS, BUTTHOLE!!!!!!!

Jack

Okay, you've all made your point. I'm sorry I brought this up.

present regret, I wrote:

Recently, another thread sparked several suggestions of how this newsgroup might be improved. I simply took those responses and attempted to offer ideas of how other readers could help, posting them in what I perceived to be an amusing and inoffensive manner. Apparently, several of you took me far too seriously. I never intended to appear to be forcing these ideas on you as rules. As many of you have pointed out, rules do indeed suck, and what's the fun of a Usenet group if you have censorship? That's one thing I like about the 'net -- complete freedom of expression. I was in no way attempting to take this away from you. I was merely hoping to get you to see some of the minor problems that I as well as others see in this newsgroup, and bring about the changes on your own. Allow me to explain why I posted what I did:

This one is obvious. Lots of us have been complaining about repetitive questions here, so it's only reasonable that you agree that all newcomers should read the FAQ. Many of you are responsible for inspiring me to write it, so there shouldn't be disagreement here.

This is one of the ideas that came up on another thread. A few of us are tired of seeing:

whoa, hey butthead check it out, heh heh. yeah, this newsgroup is cool! huh huh. nachos kick ass! that was cool, heh heh

This one doesn't bug me personally, as long as people chop out the parts of the previous post that are not relevant to the follow-up. But a couple individuals were concerned that it might get out of hand.

This is simply common courtesy. The author of the Episode Guide posted a similar request awhile back.

Do you have any idea how much of a pain it can be to maintain a FAQ or guide when you get follow-ups posted to the group as well as e-mail replies? All I hoped to accomplish here was to make my job easier.

I don't know why, but they bug me, and I've had several others agree. It'd be nice if we just posted a notice saying that we had .WAVs available, and mailed copies individually to those who wanted them.

The only reason I posted this is because it's a huge problem on the sci-fi television newsgroup I read. People there tend to pick apart every tiny detail of a show for no other reason than to point out what is nothing more than a minor flaw or inconsistency. It's also a problem on newsgroups that discuss movies. I haven't seen much of it here, so bringing it up was probably a bad idea in the first place. Again I apologize.

Okay, this time I went overboard, but I hate people who start a huge thread of angry replies just by taking two seconds to say the show sucks. I like to post replies that rip them apart, and send several copies back to them. Again, this isn't a rule, just a suggestion. If we fill up their mailboxes, maybe they'll get the hint. And it's just hypocritical to make fun of your fellow viewers' replies to a flamebaiter (I have seen this done).

How are we ever going to have any hope of change if we don't complain? 'Nuff said.

This was intended to be mildly humorous, but a lot of you took it too seriously.

In conclusion, these are not fixed rules, nor are they all serious rules, so don't take them that way. With that said, how about we just

[VanDreissen mode on]

show a little respect and consideration for others, and this newsgroup will be a much better place for us all.

[VanDreissen mode off]

Christopher E. Forman ([email]) wrote:

[list of guidelines snipped]

One which you might have added would be an admonition to tell people to edit posts they are replying to. It's a little disconcerting to read the same four-or-five screen post twice only to see 'huh huh that was cool' at the end of it. Just leave enough so that we know what you are responding to.

Mike Z

huh....huh...hhhh.u.hh.h.h.u.h.hh.h..hhu.h.hh.h.uuhh.....

wurdz....wurdz....wurdz....

huh...hu.h...h.u.h.h.u.uu.hh.....uuuuuuuuhh....what?

[stuff deleted]

Ummm, could you like, shut the hell up, or somthing. huh, huh, huh.

Huh, huh.... that'ld be cool.

Christopher E. Forman ([email]) wrote:

Couldn't agree with you more on the freedom of speach part, but if you don't like what people write, why read it? I personally think the best part of B'n'B is their whacky 'discussions', so what's wrong with people imitating them a bit?

"Words suck! This guy is way too, like, intel-sexual or something." :-)