OFFICIAL MAFIA ANNOUNCEMENT: Johnny Profaci Death Cascade

This is an official announcement from the National Crime Syndicate.

The Syndicate has decided that the USENET presence of one Mr. Johnny Profaci should be terminated. We have decided to rub him out, bump him off, whack him. We have put out a contract on Johnny's life.

The Syndicate, in a rare act of democracy, has decided to allow the good netizens of USENET to decide the fate of Mr. Profaci.

We are starting a cascade in which people are encouraged to add their own suggestions to kill Johnny off. The methods must be "mob style", i.e. in the style and manner that normal organized crime "mob hits" are conducted. Typical "mob weapons", such as using ice picks, machine guns, handguns, are allowed. Be creative and as descriptive as possible.

We will screen all proposed ways to rub Johnny out and announce the winner in the next week.

Help us give Johnny the mob sendoff he sorely deserves.

Regards,

Vincent "Vinnie the Chin" Gugliemino Capo di Tutti Capi The National Crime Syndicate

saw off his tweeter huh-uh uh!

breaking the law, breaking the law!

[email] wrote in message ...

Profaci should be terminated. We have decided to rub him out, bump him off, whack him. We have put out a contract on Johnny's life.

netizens of USENET to decide the fate of Mr. Profaci.

suggestions to kill Johnny off. The methods must be "mob style", i.e. in the style and manner that normal organized crime "mob hits" are conducted. Typical "mob weapons", such as using ice picks, machine guns, handguns, are allowed. Be creative and as descriptive as possible.

in the next week.

yeah! Kick him in the NADS!!!!! And then, like, umm, Yeah, KICK HIM IN THE NADS some more!!!!! And when you're done with that uh, like KICK HIM IN THE NADS again!!!!! Ummm, then like stash the body in the trunk and like drive on the Brooklyn Bridge and like um get out of the car while its still going and watch it go SPLASH into the Atlantic with that nutsack inside. And then, like, you could take a taxi into town and eat nachos and throw back a couple o' cold ones. And maybe somewhere in the middle of all that you could have cut off his weiner and sent it to his significant other in a paper bag. So she could still score heh heh formaldehyde! heh heh! Or she could have SPAM sandwich! Yeah! That would Rule!

Cornholio wrote:

So then would that like still count as scoring for Johnny? Thats kind of like what happened to John Wayne Bobbit guy. And then they like did this movie about it called "The Million Dollar Penis." Yea heh m heh! "We had the tools to rebuild him." And then he was like able to do porn movies like Frankinpenis. The moral of this story is never trust a woman holding your penis in one hand and a knife in the other. But it takes a woman both hands to hold mine, cuz i'm hung like a horse. Heh m heh!

umm, like, I haven't been aronud here very long and I thought this Profucki dude was like a spammer, but I see that he's a spam-ass-kicker. So, like, here's your weiner back, dude. Uh, sorry bout that. It like scored for you. So that's kind of cool anyway. Damnit!!!! I want to score, too!!! No, I will NOT sit down!!!! All of you people have probably scored a hundred times! But not me! I'M NEVER GONNA SCORE!!!!!! I'M NEVER GONNA SCOOOORRRRRRRE!!!!

ehemeheheh....yeah, I'm "Sir Scored Once" ehehehheh sadly, you will never score! ;O ^^^ ^^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^^^

emeheheheh..... Gary M. ;)

On Thu, 11 Feb 1999 07:50:23 -0600 (CST), [email] (Cornholio) wrote:

Oh... yeah!!

Settle down Beavis!

CB

Lynn wrote:

Yea, cuz i'm busy enough poking the holes in them. Heh m heh!

Lynn wrote:

Yea, cuz i'm like busy as it is poking the hole in the donuts. Heh m heh!

[email] wrote:

You better not mess with us cuz were like in a gang. Heh m heh!

Evil "Vinnie da Sausage" BeavisYo quiero taco bell The National Adopt a Monkey Fondation

On Sun, 07 Feb 1999 16:26:39 -0700, Evil Beavis enriched our minds with:

Yeah, and our gang can kick la casa nostra's ass... mheh heh eheh!

Evil "Cat da Corleone" Wife of Don Corleone "Don't mess witha us, we no playa your games"

On 7 Feb 1999 16:54:01 -0000, [email] wrote:

We could call up Harry Sachz and have him shove the phone up his butt.

CB

Make him watch South Park

[email] wrote in message ...

Profaci should be terminated. We have decided to rub him out, bump him off, whack him. We have put out a contract on Johnny's life.

netizens of USENET to decide the fate of Mr. Profaci.

suggestions to kill Johnny off. The methods must be "mob style", i.e. in the style and manner that normal organized crime "mob hits" are conducted. Typical "mob weapons", such as using ice picks, machine guns, handguns, are allowed. Be creative and as descriptive as possible.

in the next week.

Richard wrote:

Now, now... They said that this was to be a mob thing. I suggest a sentence to watch "The Godfather" -- in all its various parts, including the TV miniseries spin offs -- until he commits suicide. The mob allegedly uses torture for the "special cases." Might one humble submit that "South Park" pales in comparison to certain other items? (After all, can you see the plot in South Park coming at you from whole galaxies away?)

In article , [email] writes

Bollocks.

Johnny rules.

Just because he kicked your ass.

I have to agree with the 'Hamster' here. Let us not forget that Johnny Profaci is one of the few ppl actively fighting spam in Usenet! Too bad he cANT watch over _every_ ng! I say he should get the 'Golden Shoes Award' instead of the 'Cement Shoes Award' eheheh ;-)

Gary M.

Fluffy forgive me, but I have to agree with the hamster too. Anyone who wants to fuck with Mr. Profaci will have my express encouragement to sleep with the fishies, IYKWIM (AITYD).

On 8 Feb 1999 21:07:20 GMT, "Gary M." enriched our minds with:

Exactly! The only reason that was posted anon. was the person writing that is a dumbass who's scared of the truth and runs whenever recess begins... always screaming, "Please don't hurt me! I'm in the Mafia or something."

Cat

On Mon, 8 Feb 1999 00:30:35 +0000, Tom Bird enriched our minds with:

Yeah, what you say!!!

Johnny is just doing his job. His job is to rid the group of dumbass spammers and other such non-human beings.

And may I add.... he kicked your ass quite well.

In article , [email] writes

When?

On Wed, 10 Feb 1999 19:16:11 +0000, Tom Bird enriched our minds with:

er, I mean't that he had kicked the ass of the person you meant... --- not you dude! :)

In article , [email] writes

Mhehe yeh, my ass is unkickable!

"Ask not if your ass can be kicked, but ask if someone could kick your ass" ... uhhhh, or something like that ;-)

In article "Gary M." writes:

mheh heh heheh... yeah, mheh heh heheheh... that wuz cool... ;)

 I know you probably think your post was a swell joke. I hope you also
realize that it's a federal crime to make terrorist threats against
individuals on the Internet, even in jest.
    And don't think the FBI can't find you just because you use a phony
email address. They've hired computer geeks who are very good at that sort
of thing.
    Enjoy prison.
    P.S. and if yuo think the Mob is amused by your impersonation,
*fugheddaboudit!*

On Tue, 16 Feb 1999 08:23:34 -0500, "starcro1" spake:

Mheheh heh heheheh heheheheheheh.........heheheheh mheheh heheheheheheheh...Whoa! I'm laughing so much I'm gonna have a seizure! ...meheh heheheheh........AIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIIAIAIAIAIAIAII..........em heheh...owww... mheh heheheheheheh.........

You said, "fughed" ... mheheheheh get it??? mheheheheheh "fug hed" mehehehehehehehehemeh!!!