maybe off topic but...

... it really pisses me off when you flush and flush and a turd won't go down the toilet.

CB

"CyberButt" wrote in message news:[email]...

What do you mean, off topic?! IS there anything MORE on topic for a.tv.bnb?? Damn floaters.

My sister said that she saw a turd in a public bathroom that was about 7 or 8 inches long and about 3 or 4 inches in diameter, or something unhumanly big like that. She said it took up like all the space in the toilet bowl.

Yeah, I'm never gonna forgive her for not calling us in to look at it. She should've at least taken a picture.

~Jeni

GIRLS WHO MAKE PASSES AT BOYS WHO WEAR DRESSES

"Whamee319" wrote in message news:[email]...

or 8

big

She

Woah! Thats a big turd! Thats King Turd!! And from a chick...I guess, since it was in the chick bathroom....must have been an Amazon chick or something...is that the same naked sister you were talking about?

I'm ASSuming it came from a chick. She musta been into doing it double anal style or something - that'd open her up real good. And, yeah, that's the same naked sister I was talking about, meheheheheh. She always get the cool toilet stalls.

~Jeni

GIRLS WHO MAKE PASSES AT BOYS WHO WEAR DRESSES

">

anal

same

toilet

That chick who left the 6 foot turd must be the same one in that photo I just got off alt.binaries.chicks.who.do.it. Your naked sister sounds pretty cool. She's naked, and she talks about turds...

On 01 Feb 2003 10:04:55 GMT, [email] (Whamee319) wrote:

What are you saying? The dude had two schlongs?

Um, nooooo. One schlong - apiece.

~Jeni

GIRLS WHO MAKE PASSES AT BOYS WHO WEAR DRESSES

On 03 Feb 2003 13:15:56 GMT, [email] (Whamee319) wrote:

So there were two dudes and the bunghole of one chick? Eww gross. Isn't that how the olsens got conceived?

On Tue, 04 Feb 2003 13:22:23 -0500, Ralph the Rover wrote:

UNSUBSCRIBE

  ;o)

On 31 Jan 2003 11:26:58 GMT, [email] (Whamee319) wrote:

I just read about this dude who was hiking up north and he found a mound of caribou turd, about 6 feet high and half a mile long! It had been frozen for a thousand years or something butt glo-ball warming thawed it out.

On Sun, 02 Feb 2003 12:42:07 -0500, Ralph the Rover wrote:

<Beavis> Y'know, that's not really not that much. </Beavis>

CB

That's why you should keep them in jars in the basement.

For what? Like for scientific purposes? Like as "fecimens?" Maybe you could just label them as pickles and see if any of your friends would eat them. That'd be cool.

~Jeni

GIRLS WHO MAKE PASSES AT BOYS WHO WEAR DRESSES

On 01 Feb 2003 10:10:36 GMT, [email] (Whamee319) wrote:

Ha, ha, ha!

On 01 Feb 2003 10:10:36 GMT, [email] (Whamee319) wrote:

Uh... dammit Jeni, I'm never having dinner at your house again!

CB

"DIABOLIC" <d i a b o l i c @ m a i l . u s a . c o m> wrote in message news:D6y_9.7742$[email]...

Yeah, you know, just in case.

(old story) Last Friday, as I was waiting for Beavis-n-Butthead to come on TV, I realized that I was hungry. Hadn't eaten all day... So, I walked up to the nearby 7-11 to buy some nachos...

Anyway, I bought some, then went home and started watching the show. As I was eating, I noticed that there was a pea-sized black spot in the meat sauce. Always curious, I dug into the sauce to check it out. The black spot had 6 legs on it. Cool. I dug more and discovered that the 'spot' was a dead fly!

My first thought was, ' Awww, SICK!, there's a fly in my food.'

I was, like, tempted to throw it away and stuff, but then...a light-bulb appeared over my head . . . I thought to myself, 'Self, the meat sauce container had a lid on it and everything came out of the pump. Therefor, they must have intended for this fly to be in the sauce . . . it must be for flavor or something (!?!) Maybe like a bay leaf, you only need one to flavor the whole sauce.

So, I kept eating. Two or three chips later, I scooped up the fly in a bite, and you know what??? - that was the BEST tasting nacho in the batch!!!!!!!!! Like, the rest of them were good, but that ONE really kicked ass!!!!

So anyway, later that night, my girlfriend stopped over, and I told her about the nacho stuff and she just got up and left! She wouldn't even kiss me goodbye or anything. WTH??? :-O

I figured that she was just mad and stuff because I had this great meal and didn't save her any. So, the next day, I called her up and invited her to dinner . . . 'I'm going to make the WORLD's GREATEST NACHOS for YOU!'

Remembering the 'fly' secret ingredient, as the sauce was cooking, I tried my best to find a fly to add to it. There were no fly's. (Like, they're everywhere until you really want one.)

THEN, another 'light-bulb' appeared over my head . . . I thought . . . wait a minute, why would a fly make such a difference? Then I realized - flys sit on pOOp all day before they land on your food . . . . the 'secret ingredient' MUST be dog pOOp - not the fly itself!

..............................................................
        Meanwhile, outside in the yard...
A fly zooms in for a 'carrier-style' landing on a fresh pile
of doggie pOOp. Another fly is already there . . .

Fly 1: 'Oh, hi Bill. How's the stuff?'

    Fly 2 (Bill):  'Hey Fred, what's up? This pile is great!
                    You don't get any fresher than this!'

    Fly 1 (Fred):  'Yeah, like, I was just flying around, and
                    I noticed the steam, so I figured it must
                    be really fresh!'

Fly 2 (Bill):'Yeah, the dog is still over there' (he points)

    Fly 1 (Fred): (After mushing his legs deep in the pOOp)
                  'Well, gotta run, Bill.  Got lots of good
                   pOOp on my feet, time to go walk around
                   on some human food.

Fly 2 (Bill): 'Meh hehheh - yeah!

                Fred flys off to the nearest open door...
............................................................

Anyway (back to my story). So I figured that dog pOOp was the REAL secret ingredient. Since I couldn't find a fly, I went outside and found a fresh dog pOOpie. I scooped up a teaspoon or so, then went back in and added it to the meat sauce.

Later that night, my girlfriend and I were having dinner. (I even had candles lit and stuff). Halfway through the meal, she told me how this was, like, the best dinner that she ever had. I thought to myself, 'Whoa, I'm gonna score tonight...YES!!!!'

Beaming with pride, I decided to tell her the secret recipe. After I finished telling her, she just looked at me weirdly, dropped the nacho chip that was in her hand, and got up from the table.

Then she like broke up with me or something (permanently) and then she left. I was really upset, but I DID have more nachos for myself. I guess she just couldn't handle having a boyfriend that knew how to cook. Some chicks have to feel needed, or something.

So anyway, I'm alone and stuff now...looking for a new girlfriend - someone that can appreciate a dude that can cook and take care of stuff...know anybody that might be interested?

BTW, the 'secret ingredient' is also good in spaghetti sauce!

On Sat, 01 Feb 2003 13:58:48 GMT, Argy wrote:

<snip>

Good one, dude! I award you 69 turd-o-points. ;-)

"Argy" wrote in message news:[email]...

Thats great stuff! I re-member that from way back when it was 1st posted I think! Like, many moons ago. Did you write it?

On Mon, 3 Feb 2003 12:32:09 -0500, "KingTurd" wrote:

He wrote it butt he had a different name! I think it was Anthony Nipples.

On Sat, 01 Feb 2003 13:58:48 GMT, Argy wrote:

Dammit Argy, I'm never having dinner at your house again!

CB

On Thu, 30 Jan 2003 15:11:21 -0500, CyberButt wrote:

You are supposed to flush!?! Well I'll be darned.

Youre supposed to go in the toilet??

On Sun, 02 Feb 2003 12:42:07 -0500, Ralph the Rover wrote:

Oh sorry, I was talking about an *indoor* toilet, you don't need to in the outhouse.

CB

On Sun, 09 Feb 2003 12:37:46 -0500, CyberButt wrote:

Well, everything's ok then!