i am taking a poll

Apr 22, 199853 posts by 12 posters
53 posts
Lumpy Camshaft

OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!

nooo, you buttmonkies, i siad "poll", *NOT* "pole"!!!

um, liek a weak ago, i typedd a storie caled:

"the ugliest chick what ever lived"

it was liek 200 linez of Lumpyesque doo-doo!

butt liek *NO ONE* in the antire world siad antything abou tit. Boo Hoo. :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( i postedd it from DejaAnts, anad its still their anad stuff, anad it went two my i-s-p-p, butt yew guys (anad EEK!(tm)) dident say no werds abou tit!

QUESTION #1: y dident you say enniethign abou tit?

    [ ] Man, it sucked.
    [ ] I never saw it. My ISP sucks.
    [ ] I never saw it. Your ISP sucks.
    [ ] I never saw it. Usenet sucks.
    [ ] I never saw it. Everything sucks.
    [ ] I never saw it. You suck.
    [ ] I never saw it. Your mom sucks.
    [ ] It had too many words, dude.
    [ ] Dude, it was a load of crap.
    [ ] You'll never score, dumbass.
    [ ] Other:

iffen noboddie sawd it, mebbie il'l post it agian or soemthing!!! ether that, ore 5,000 lines of antsii ants (ha ha ha just kiddink on theate one, dudeqz (anad EEK!)(tm))

thanks four yer responsez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well, if their our ennie, thatis!!!!!!

        Lumpy
        ngefca
        Camshaft

Lumpy Camshaft wrote without consulting his spellchecker in article ...

I didn't read it beacuse your bad spelling hurts my head. To understand what you're saying I have to think and stuff. And having to think reminds me of work. Work sucks.

Sorry dude.

martin

uh uhemememe wouldn't *YOU* like to know?? uh uh uh ;)

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On 22 Apr 1998 20:41:25 GMT, "Martin Lowe" wrote:

Yeh yeh mheh mheh huhuhuhuh (can you read THAT?) :-)

Ok, i understand! Can't please everybody!

Do you like really live in Nottingham??? Like i have a bicycle that was like built there and stuff! But it's broken.

Thanks for the reply. You know i am worried that GCRU is the only "person" on the entire net who reads my stories.

That would suck-suck-SUCK!!!

L C

Lumpy Camshaft said "poll" huh huh and wrote in article...

I sure do. But I don't work there - my office is 30 miles away in Burton-on-Trent, but I don't live there 'cos the town smells of catfood.

Shouldn't have said that. GCRU will come round to sniff the saddle.

Yeah - I've seen him watching you and licking his lips.

Martin

Martin Lowe wrote in article ...

ROFL!

I went to a place that smelt like cat pOOp - I think it was Gainsborough.

Hamster

uh uh uh *Gaysborough* uh uh ;)

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Don't they have a brewery there? I've been to STOKE on Trent many times ehehe stoke ehehe poke e ehehehhee

Is the Rock City club still in Nottingham centre, near the Yates' Wine Lodge?? Yates' Wine Lodges rule ehehehe

"Australian white wine, with warm water and sugar" yes!!! ;)

Sorry, dude! I'm not gay.. I just catalogue Gay Cartoons ;)

that's 'cos he had some Kentucy Fried chicken (*FRIED*, not *CHOKED*)

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Gay Cartoons 'R' Us wrote in article

catfood.

They have several. Bass are based there; Carlsberg-Tetley also have a brewery and there's Marston's as well, which is by far the best of the three. Carlsberg-Tetley are like the Imperial Death Star of breweries.

Certainly is. I went to see Ministry there last year. They ruled! Don't know if the Yates' is still there though - probably is but I haven't seen it.

martin

Marstons - aren't they a Yorkshire brewery? eheh ee-by-gum eheh

they used to rule, but when they *yuppie-fied* them , threw out all the old winos, and they started to suck....

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Lumpy Camshaft wrote in article ...

reminds

I read them...

Hamster (lives near Nottingham...)

Nottingham is a cool place ehehe it's a great place to get drunk ;) I spent a new year's eve there once, it ruled ehehehe I got drunk and scored ehehehe with a chick, dammit!!! i know what you were thinking

I drank all evening in Yates' Wine Lodge then saw the new year in, in that square nearby, then scored back at the house ehehehe

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" I want to ride my bicycle... I want to ride my bike" (a classic by Freddi mercury and his bungee-jumping mustache)]

yeh ehehe I am an avid reader of Lumpy-news :)

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After you read a few of his classic stories, you'll find them easy to read...you just have to get use to the language.

Print one out and take the time to read it...like maybe when you have a lot of time...like when you're waiting for *that* chick to call. ;)

Gary M. :^D

On Thu, 23 Apr 1998 19:55:07 -0700, "Gary M." wrote:

uuuhh, yore meking mie suond liek docter zoos ore soemthign!

     yew cann bee mie lidderarrie agent, anad colect awl teh
      monies anad stuff, then il'l bee faymuouose anad liek
   get lots of chicks danad nachoes anad stuff anad yuol'l get
        uh, liek ten percentile ore soemthign!!!! cache!
     uuuuhhh, NO! Gary-head, i coude NEVERE type that moch stuffs,
          iffen hes weighting four a **CHICK**!?! to call!
      hed' bee liek all olde anad grey hared withs a long beerd,
         anad cobwebs awl ovear teh phoene!
       Lumpy's Rulez For Liveing.
           1. Nevear wate for a chick two call.
      NGEFCA!!! NGEFCA!!! NGEFCA!!! NGEFCA!!! NGEFCA!!!
       NGEFCA!!! NGEFCA!!! NGEFCA!!! NGEFCA!!! NGEFCA!!!
        NGEFCA!!! NGEFCA!!! NGEFCA!!! NGEFCA!!! NGEFCA!!!
         NGEFCA!!! NGEFCA!!! NGEFCA!!! NGEFCA!!! NGEFCA!!!

huhhuhuuhuhuuuhuhhhuhuhhuhuhuhuuuhuuhhhhuuuhuh!

yeh and if it still bugs you, run it thru a spell-chequer ;)

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uh uh Lumpy wants my pole uh uh uh ;)

Mrs. spaghetti?

ROTFL ehe "Lumpyesque doo doo"   :)
That's even funnier than  "judgie-wudgie"   :)

I did...dammit :) it ruled ;)

uyej eheh epost it agian ehehe post ehehe he want my post agian ;)

yeh eheh a big travelling troup of theaatre ants ;) that's why they have ant farms, that's where the hard working ants go to toil each day, while the lazy-ass theatre ants apply their make up and generaly swish around

uh uh ponces eheh uh uh

WHAT?? is there any ENEMA?? ehehe poop ehehe

pleez repost the story :)

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And it feels pretty good... huh-huh-huh. Verdict below.

The shorter the post, the better the action. This is not true of penises.

I dropped it on my way to the bathroom. You can tell it's mine cuz it's got a lot of peanuts. I'm crazy for peanuts. Please return this turd so it can take its rightful place on my mantle or in my septic tank.

That's nothing. I got this giant pink brick in my underwear drawer.

                              ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^]

WHAT??? a giant pink prick in your underwear???? ehehehe ;)

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yeh.. and where are you taking it to?

I lost a dump recently.. I wonder if this is *MY* dump? Here's a picture of my missing dump:

http://monkey.hooked.net/monkey/m/chuck/stool/toilet.jpg

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No way! It's mine! You can tell it's mine, cos it's a bowlwinder. Okay, so it's a bowlwinder filtered through a seive, but it's still *MY* bowlwinder!

Gay Cartoons 'R' Us Visit the Gay Cartoon Character Research Centre http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/2891/ See Freddy Mercury's Bungee-Jumping Mustache, live on the Net.

No way! It's MY dump, plain and simple, and a true work of excretory art. I don't take big, steamy BM's so pencil poopers can take the credit. My logs are second to none.

No way! it's *MY* splatter-platter! ;) it has mother Teresa's likeness in the middle... that's MINE! ;)

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Gay Cartoons 'R' Us wrote:

I hate to disagree with you, Gay Cartoons 'R' Us, but that isn't Mother Theresa, it's Jack Webb. While I acknowledge your status as a fellow Mega-Dumper, I know my turds when I see 'em, and they all contain the images of either Jack Webb or Lord Kitchener. It's clearly my load, the work of I, Grobbus, sometimes known as the Brown Shadow.

Gay Cartoons 'R' Us wrote:

I hate to disagree with you, Gay Cartoons 'R' Us, but that isn't Mother Theresa, it's Jack Webb. While I acknowledge your status as a fellow Mega-Dumper, I know my turds when I see 'em, and they all contain the images of either Jack Webb or Lord Kitchener. It's clearly my load, the work of I, Grobbus, sometimes known as the Brown Shadow.

mehheh...sounds like GCRU is *doing* Lumpy! ;)

:^O whoa...or maybe a gang-bang!!! :^O

Well DAMMIT, **I'm** not a wuss...I'll tell the TRUTH!!!!!!

mehheh...of course you know I was kiddin Lumpy.eheheh It ruled as all of your writings do and notice that I didn't check the "too many words" box. Also notice I didn't check the "never gonna score" box cause I think LC is scoring all the time with all those college chicks that sometime visit my town.

	Gary M.   :^)

On Thu, 23 Apr 1998 20:08:09 -0700, "Gary M." wrote:

yew gots soeme weerdoh fandisies, d00d!

    yore NOT a wuss! mhehmmemhehmhmehmehmhmeeehmehmemheehee
         lying rules!!!!!!

huhuuuhuuhhhuhuhuhuhuuhhuhuhuh!!! :-)

huhuuuhuuhhhuhuhuhuhuuhhuhuhuh!!! :-)

       huh uhhuhuhh hhuhh mhehmhmehmehm :-)
      annoyeying Gary-head is almoest as moch
          fun az blowing up lizerds!!!
      sorrie two breek teh news to yew, dudeqz, butt
        awl thoese chicks are stayin RITE HEAR too scoere
      wiht MEEEEE, hahahahaha, no moor tripes dowan
        two virginal beehotch city,, butt HEY! mebbie
      the'yl'l have a homeonners convenshun down
          their ha ha ha sorrie abotes that!!!

Lumpy "scoring constantly" Camshaft

(lying rulez!!!)

Repost it in normal english and I'll not only read it, I'll print it out a dozen times and wipe my butt with it the next time I have diarrhea. And that's a promise, from me to you.

Tom BirdWubba Joe

Grobbus wrote in article ...

Lumpy spelling is the coolest thing about the internad - don't take that away from meee!

Hamster

Bryan Preston wrote in article ...

YOU'RE an anal bandit...

Hamster

yeh a Bum-Blaster

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Gay Cartoons 'R' Us wrote in article ...

Rectal Raider

Hamster-Humper

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That's "YOU'RE a dumb fuck that cant spell woth a siht", bottom-feeder.

ehehe pressed ehehe on ehehehe

yeh err.. something err.. dammit don't annoy Grobbus, he's cool

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hahahaha Another webtv type with another profound statement! ;) Aaarrrggghhhh! It's the attack of the 'gay robots chasing each other' ISP. WEBTV - more than just another channel!

On Wed, 22 Apr 1998 03:49:22 GMT, [email] (Lumpy Camshaft) wrote:

Hey Lumpy. (Multiple choice questions are too hard, so I'm doing an essay answer. Hard, mehehehe.)

Yes, I saw it. I read it. It ruled. It RULED. I was ROTFLMAO. And I was ngefca too. No, not really, 'cause I still don't know what that means.

Butt, yeah, that was the story about going to get income tacks forms, that was funny. I had already finished my income tacks, but as soon as I read your story about the hot chick at the IRS who hands out the forms, I went right downtown myself to the IRS to get some forms of my own, and check out the hot chick. Well, I get down there, and dammit, she wasn't there. There were no chicks at all there, just some old guy, I mean this guy was about 97 years old, all stooped over, and he was at a window with the forms in bins behind him, and when you asked for a form it took him about 5 minutes to turn around and walk the 6 feet to where the forms were. Anad then it took him about 12 more minutes to search for the one you asked for. Then he forgot where he was and fell asleep. So I was all pissed at the wait, plus I was already pissed because the hot chick wasn't there, and I asked him for a Form 69 and a Form number 2. He went off to look for them. I may go back tomorrow to see if he's still trying to find them.

But I digress. BTW, that chick in the magazine, the ugliest chick in the world, I think that was Tammy Faye Bakker. From your description, I'm pretty sure.

Anyway, that story of yours is tied with "mie trip two the dantist" as the coolest Usenet post of all time. It's so cool, after I read it, I clicked the little icon with the padlock, telling my newsreader to save this post for all time, for posterior-ity as it were. I'm using Agent, so if you use something else maybe you don't know what the hell I'm babbling about, butt I only click that padlock icon when something is REALLY cool. Like the ascii of those 2 gay elephants, I'm saving that one in case I have to write a report someday on the behavior of animals in the wild. Also the pooping ant, for my report on feces. Anad of course the ascii of EEK!, that's a keeper, boi-oi-oi-ng!! I'm keeping that for when I, uh, you know, uh huh huh, never mind.

So, go ahead and post it again for the buttmunches who missed it because they were too busy doing their tacks, or maybe they were downloading nekkid pics or something. And give us more stories. Please.

Thankyoudrivethru.

CyberButt

Tom BirdCyberButt

CyberButt wrote in article ...

Tammy Faye Bakker? related to Chewy Bakker?

Hamster

ps. I do really know how to spell chewbacca

WHAT??? chew CACCA??? ehehe ugh! ehehehehe *poop* eheh

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On Fri, 24 Apr 1998 01:49:53 GMT, [email] (CyberButt) wrote:

its a secrit messidge to a WOMYN, nutting four yew dudeqs to bee anterestid in!!!!!!!!!!

  acctyuelly, yuo ***ARE*** ngefca, i'ts true anad stuf!
       lots of dudez are, in fact jestt abote awl,
    iym juust Man(tm) enuf to admi tit!!!!!!!!!!!

<loreena a bunch of rellie cool werds>

eye no watt yo'uere tokking abote! i got agint too anad free agint! i pressiz "K" two tern on teh paddalokc!

   everrieboddie usis agANT or freeagANT, eggsept M Yrag,
     hes a wuss (he he he) he usis nutscrape (its poopy for usenad)

mann, eye jest look at thoese four byttes:

EEK!

tha'ts enuf for: Heeellloooo, President Woodrow!!!!!

  yure preddie cool, dude! (for a dude that is!)
      eye probebllie wo'nt respot it becouose liek
   Guess(tm) watt everieebodi c00l awlredie red it
         anad stuff.
     yore tax form story was uh, "not too shabby",
      yeh yeh mhehm hemhemh ehehmhmehmeehee,
          butt yore spelign is attrowshuss!!!

O-: Lumpy ngefca Camshaft :-O

There are no hot chicks at the IRS.. only old, miserable, bad-tempered, wrinkly, dried-up old bags, and bad-tempered fugly, fat bull-dykes.

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Lumpy Camshaft wrote in article ...

Sorry dude....