You all know what it feels like after that champion dump...
You've just crapped almost half your own bodyweight and you have that feeling in your intestines, that empty vacuum wrenching that will leave you sick for days. Your ears pop, you fear your chest and stomach are going to collapse in on themselves and your liver and kidneys will fall through your bunghole.
Do not fear.
Using patented technology from San Francisco we've developed the Jello Vacuum Filler, an ingenous system that will fill your freshly evacuated bowel with a Jello of your choice. No more toilet sickness or restroom lethargy, Jello Vacuum Filler will allow you to get on with your life. The champion pooper can crap goodbye to these common colon vacuum problems:
*** Wind *** Tiredness *** Chillblains *** Lassa Fever *** Sprained Ankles *** Varicose Veins *** Psychotic Episodes *** Sleepwalking *** Hives *** Tennis Elbow *** Scurvy *** That Thing Were You Mistake Your Wife For A Hat or something *** Death
All for a mere $195 + shipping + sales tax
call 1-800-POOPINGJELLO
Colonic Industries. Help your bunghole match your ambition
SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING filling your bowel with Jello can cause disease of the digestive tract, wobbling colon syndrome and death