It is I, Michele La Wankstress, Keeper of Buttland Holidays, with some incredible news to report. Here's a holiday just made for Buttlanders, not to mention Beavis and Butthead themselves- AND IT'S FOR REAL!
According to the flyer for a San Francisco sex-toys shop (hey, it just showed up in the mail, it's not like I'm on their preferred mailing list or anything... heh heh):
"In honor of National Masturbation Month in May, the Roxie Cinema will feature a screening of masturbation clips gleaned from X-rated and educational videos..."
Woah! National Masturbation Month! A whole freaking month! Wonder who declared it... can you picture Bill Clinton making an announcement to the press corps? Geez, this is great.
I'm giving you a month's warning, so limber up those wrists, stock up on batteries, pornos, and boxes of tissue. (For our overseas posters, we'll be dicklaring Buttland *International* Masturbation Month! Don't want to be unfair to our brethren and sistren in other lands.)
This rules! ehemehe ehhemehe hehe We are the Masters of our destiny...
-Michele La Wankstress