Fun with scammers

I screw with them and waste their time as often as I can, thought you fellow buttwipes would enjoy my latest one...

First email from "Wong Du" was a typical "I'm a bank officer who discovered an account where the rich dude dies with nobody to claim the cash crap..."

I replied, something to the effect of "I'm interested..."

his reply: "

Mhehehe...wong...

My reply to the loser:

Then the scammer replied:

Then I replied:

Mr Du,

I spoke with my friend about your last email, Mr. Bat, and he told me "A frog is unhappy unless airborne". This is an old backwoods saying here in the US which means "good luck to you!". Mr. Bat is a very close friend of mine who I'm certain would assist you as I am, and I'm sure that Mr. Bat would like to meet you personally when you come to the US to claim your money.

In your first e-mail to me you asked for assistance in getting the money out of your country, which I will gladly do because I am an honest and trustworthy person who would never steal from their fellow man, as I am certain that you are. The person who stole your money before, like all thieves, will have a special place in Hell where Beavis Lord of the Underworld himself will personally fist him with glove of hot brimstone and slice his nutsack off with a chainsaw. But I digress.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, my uncle,Tom Anderson, recently died while trying to crank the cables and left me $3000 in his will. I have the funds to send the banker, but I am a bit confused as to why I would need to send this money when all I am doing is allowing you to transfer your funds to my bank account so that you can get to them.

Please advise as soon as possible, and remember, "A frog is unhappy unless airborne"!

Sincerely,

Mitch Hedburg

Thought you bungwipes would enjoy this BnB scambait, we'll see what I can get this asswipe to do, if he replies....

That's really funny, KT! :-D Lettuce know how it turds out!

"Argy" wrote in message news:[email]...

Well, hes the worse scammer Ive ever been bothered by, but he may have figured out I was screwing with him... no reply since the last but today I sent this:

Mr. Du, I haven't heard back from you about helping you with your money transfer. As I said, I'd be glad to help you. Normally I wouldnt ask anything in return for helping someone, but I was wondering if you would be willing to help me in a small way. I mentioned to you that I just inherited a bit over $3000.00 from my uncle Tom Anderson who recently died, which I planned on investing in MaxiMart stock until I was contacted by you, then I planned on assisting you with my good fortune. But this past Friday the 23rd, the inner tube on my septic tank gave up the ghost and I have turds flowing up through my grass, and I have to have it fixed, pronto! If I send the $2800 to help you, I wont have the money to fix my septic tank, but if I were to at least be able to get it back by the end of the week I can help you. Do you think that after I wire you the banker fees, and you get the 4 milloin dollars released, that you could then wire me back the same $2800 so I can my septic tank fixed and get the turds out of my yard? OR maybe a few extra dollars for extra expenses? I will ot steal your money that that last asshole, you have my good word. I have a basement with a lot of little jars and the overflow from the septic tank is contaminating it, so I have to get it fixed asap. I want to help you but I'm sure you can understand my plight. If I sent the banker the money tomorrow, would I be able to have it back by Friday to stop my turd problem? Thanks, Mitch Hedburg

we/ll see....

On Thu, 22 Jun 2006 22:05:05 -0400, "King Turd" wrote:

Dear Mr. Turd:

I am sorry to disillusion you, but I'm afraid this Wong fellow is trying to scam you. Do NOT spend your hard-earned inheritance paying him for these codes. I happen to know that he is grossly over-charging you.

I also am a high-ranking official with a sensitive position in the international banking industry. It just so happens that I know a consultant who can get these codes for you, and is willing to do it for you at cost, for a fee of only $1500. He guarantees that these codes will be activated and then you will be able to transfer the money to your account. He absolutely knows what he's talking about. He is after all, a consultant.

My firm requires me to subscribe to the highest ethical standards, so you need have no fear about entering into this transaction with me, I am completely trustworthy. Everything will of course be entirely legal and above-board. As you can understand, it would not be prudent for me to seek approval from my board of directors for this transaction, so I must ask you to keep everything confidential between us.

Send the money via anonymous cashiers check made out to "BEARER", and mail it to:

CyberButt P.O. Box 69 Intercourse, PA

As soon as I receive the funds, the codes will be yours. I guarantee it.

Thats a really good deal! I sent the money today. Go to your local Western Union office and ask for the transfer of the $1500 for: Choad Smoker Security word: Dillcrackassmunchturdburglerpolesmokingbuttmasterbuttpiratinganalking.

Please send me my $4M USD ($ 4 million US dollars) asap.

mheheh...

I didn't hear from him so I sent him an email something to the effect of how I want to help out and please e-mail me, here was his reply:

Give me a number I can reach you at anytime. I must talk with you. You have nothing to worry about because as soon as I get the codes in 4-5 business days this funds will arrive your account.

Give me a number to call you now.

Wong.

and I replied: Mr Du,

My number is 407-262-7637, but I told you that you will need access to a Highland Beavix Voice to Text Terminal to speak by phone, as I am deaf due to a VanDriesen infection as a kid. They have them at MaxiMart stores here in the US that you can use for free with a purchase of $1.99 or more. A BlueWackadoo Slushie and small nachos cost exactly that, so I'll usually buy those, and enjoy them while I make my daily calls. Do you have MaxiMarts in your country? They have some of the best nachos I've ever had, and even better, they put the copies of Spank magazine out on the rack instead of behind the counter! Everything I need for the rest of my life is in that store.

If you don't have MaxiMarts in your country, you should be able to locate Highland Beavix Terminals at bus stations and certain parks where people afflicted with VanDriesens disease tend to frequent.

You might want to consider using some of your $4 million to open a MaxiMart store, I'm sure it would get you very wealthy. Maybe we could discuss you and I becoming a partner in opening a MaxiMart when you come to the US to get your money. I would like a better job, and I can't think of anything better than working at MaxiMart!

But on to more important business. I have the $2800 needed to send the banker for the codes, but I need to know for sure that I will have the same $2800.00 wired back to me within a few days.

My basement is starting to fill with floaters due to my septic tank problems, and the smell, oh golly, its worse than a garbage can full of crap. I need to get it fixed as soon as I can, I contacted Brownie's Septic Service here, and its going to cost over $2500 to have a new inner tube put in the septic tank, not including the fees to selectively pump the turds from my basement without damaging all my little jars.

I have almost $3300 in the bank right now after depositing the money that Tom Anderson left me after he croaked and I will be glad to help you with paying the banker for the codes, if I can be assured that I will have the $2800.00 code fees back in my acccount in a few days. I have got to get this turd problem fixed, but I am thrilled about helping you with a transaction such as this, so it can wait a week or so. Last night I put one of those coconut scented christmas tree things under my nose before going to bed and it masked the smell pretty well, so I'm sure I can get by for a week or so until you can send me the money back.

Being that we are involved in a deal of such importance I think it would be nice to get to know each other on a more personal level. I attached a photo of myself. Do you have any photos of you or of other interesting landmarks in your country? I have never been there and would love to know more about you and the area. I look forward to speaking with you and helping you complete this deal. Is it OK to call you Wong?

A Frog Is Unhappy Unless Airborne,

Mitch

---

The number was for a known fax machine, and I attached a photo of Mike Judge in Office Space I got here, looking like a total dork:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Judge

He replied:

Dear Mitch,

Find attached to this email my ID please do not call me for any reason. I occupy a very sensitive transaction and all my calls are recored. I will not want any trace hope you understand this.

I repeat as soon as this is settle I will effect the transfer and the funds will be in your account within 4-5 business days. Be rest assured of this and you will be able to repair your home.

We will discuss more on business when I come over. I will be honoured to have you in my country too. You can call me Wong please.

Are you ready to send the money so I give you the agents contact. I spoke with him and he said since you are in the US you will make the payment to his agent in the US through western union money transfer. If you are ready to pay this money I will get this details across to you. Let me know. Also can you tell me exactly what you mean when you say A Frog Is Unhappy Unless Airborne?

Wong.

link to his oh-so-genuine ID card: http://personal.bellsouth.net/m/n/mnwj/bnb/wongdu.JPG

mhehehe..hung....

His IP is coming from an internet cafe in Nigeria...shocking I'll reply to him when I have time to type out something tomorrow...

I thought ya'll dillholes might enjoy a BnB flavored scambait, if I'm just wasting bandwidth let me know and I'll stop posting about this guy, that would give me more monkey time too..mhehe...

On Mon, 26 Jun 2006 18:32:23 -0400, "King Turd" wrote:

Hehe, I looked it up on Switchboard, it says:

"Your search for "407-262-7637" did not match any results."

Hah! Are you kidding? They still drive agound in ox-carts in his country.

Yeah, yeah!! Did you see page 57 of the new July issue???? Now that I've seen that I'll never leave the house again!!

Mehehe, he might even run into someone who will give him a candy bar.

LOL

That's hysterical! I had forgotten about him in that movie!

You should print that out and try to use it to buy beer!

HOLY CRAP!

I figured it was probably at least from someplace in China. I guess the scammers have finally figured out that the whole world knows that anything from Nigeria is a scam.

Are you serious?? I've been laughing so hard over what you're doing to this bunghole that my stomach hurts. Plus, my monitor is covered with the soda that I've splurted out of my mouth as I've been reading these posts!

I just wish we could get Todd and his gang to go over to that internet cafe to deal with this asswipe.

CB

Ok then, so I replied:

Wong, I certainly understand that due to the transfer of all this money from your bank that you have to be very careful and I will not call you. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't, as I don't have your telephone number and you don't have a Highland Beavix Terminal. I am very excited about helping you and I am very much looking forward to meeting you when you come to the US. Maybe you, I, and my friend Mr. Bat can meet. We could go to MaxiMart for a nacho supreme and some Thunderbird to celebrate!

I have had such bad luck lately, first my uncle died, then my shrubs got ran over by some kids on a riding lawnmower, then some punks broke into my toolshed, then this damn turd problem developed... but I think my luck is finally looking up after hearing from you and this other nice banker, John Boko. I don't know how much contact international bank executives like you and Mr. Boko have, but maybe you know of him. He is from Nigeria and works for The Central Bank of Nigeria. Please don't disclose this to anyone else but he also has an unclaimed account in his bank, but this one has over $8 million in it that belonged to someone named Daria Morgendorfer!

He asked me to help him claim it like you have, and I sent him $500.00 by Western Union yesterday afternoon to cover some lawyer fees. Mr Boko is going to give me almost $750,000 for helping him!!! I'm so excited, I can soon finally afford get the surgery to cure this cursed VanDriesens disease, and hear again!!! Then I can set my Highland Beavix Terminal on FIRE!! FIRE!!

Unfortunately, after buying the coconut scented trees, nachos, and a Megadeth CD, I only have $2770 left in my account. Do you think that you could come up with the remaining $30.00 for the codes? If not, I can sell some of my little jars from the basement to come up with the additional $30.00 and the Western Union fees, as much as I hate to let them go, I've been collecting them for years. Please let me know if I need to sell my jars to come up with the $30.00 or if you can help with the additional $30.00 for the codes.

You asked about the saying "A Frog Is Unhappy Unless Airborne".... It is an old backwoods saying, started by Dave when he returned from Mexico, so legend has it, which means "Good Luck." Are there any similar sayings in your country?

Do you have any photographs of your country? Maybe of some of your favorite places there? I've never been there and would love to see some. What type of foods do you eat in your country? Do you have any good recipes for a traditional type of dish that I could try over here, maybe some traditional nachos or something like that?

A Frog Is Unhappy Unless Airborne,

Mitch Hedburg

----

I think once the original guy thought they had a 'bite' that they may have passed me on to a more intelligent scamwipe up the Nigerian scammer chain, just by the better grasp of English and manner of typing...

I at least want him to make a fruitless trip to theNigerian Western Union office if I can...

I guess the gig is up, he finally gave up and sent me this:

I thought you are seriouse. I will pass.

and I replied...

Nope, not serious at all, just happy to waste the time of a mugu lowlife thief who will burn in hell for thievery to their fellow man, very glad to waste your time and help to keep you away from honest people who might fall for your lies and thievery.

And to top it, you're terrible at the scam game, mugu. The worst mugu scammer I have ever had the fun with toying with. You lack any skill at this at all. You really should give it up, as all you thieving bastards should, and consider a legitimate line of work that does not please Satan, and even worse, Streculious, as your thievery does You are the worst scammer I have ever had the dis-pleasure of sending me a scam email. Terrible at it, even by amature scammer standards. I hope youre at least under 9 years old, that would at least explain the juvenile and amature scam you attempted. If not, you REALLY need to give this scam crap up and get a job. I hear that they are hiring for underwater explosive carriers. Weights and C4 is supplied. You should apply. Please. You are breathing valuable oxygen. At least youre not a turd thief. Or maybe you are. You are the lowest of the low, lower than puke and crap, and used feminine hygene products, at the the bottom of a Port-o-Let at a Creatures of Rock show, stealing from people who actually WORK to have what they need. Imagine that concept...work to get what you need to live, instead of stealing it from those that do...

Enjoy your after-death stay in hell, getting fisted with a glove of spikes and flaiming brimstone every half-hour by Beavis the Lord of the Underworld, you thieving mugu.

On Thu, 29 Jun 2006 22:13:37 -0400, "King Turd" wrote:

LOL

That ruled!!!

Don't you just wish you could actually get your hands on asswipes like that?

Too bad they don't have cops in Nigeria who would arrest those bungholes.

CB

Your flamery sucks, dude. You make yourself sound like a complete and utter nerd while at the same time you mistakenly make a few statements that don't do what you intend them to do, namely, offend, and one which under certain interpretations might actually be a compliment.

Why the hell do you insinuate that someone steals poop? I mean, what the fuck does that even say? Is there some social stigma attached to being a poop thief in your country? Because really, poop is just something you flush away without worrying much about what happens afterward.

Or do they still use outhouses in your country?

Also, the whole thing about underwater c4 shit... Why the fuck is this an insult? It seems like a job that requires a lot of bravery. Sort of like a fireman, or a construction worker. If someone told me that I should get that kind of job, I'd feel like it was a compliment.

You need some good schooling in the art of insulting people, kid.

For example, don't tell people things that come in on a tangent. For example, where the fuck did "turd thief" come from? Do you have any indication that that would be some sort of a hot button for him or something? Really, when someone goes out into public, they're not feeling insecure about whether they steal turds or not. They're worried about what people are going to think about their clothes, or if someone is going to see them as an inferior. This is the real human experience. Real insults should cut deep, to the heart of someone's being. They should touch upon the insecurities that people themselves feel. The sooner you understand that, the sooner you can actually really hurt someone.

For example.

Get a life. I mean, I'm sure that you're a special needs kid who spends all his time in his mother's basement while she bangs the local town drunk who smells like piss and is always showing his penis to you at the bus stop, but that doesn't mean that you get to spend your time wasting mine. I don't have time to read this insipid worthless shit.

You're fucking worthless. You could die tomorrow and no-one in the world would care. I work hard, I give to charity. I'm working on raising a family. My life has meaning. But you, you're just a piece of shit. Ever since you mother tried to flush you down the toilet during the prom at bumblefuck high after being impregnated during a gang-bang with the local club of nerds (the football team wouldn't touch her... the nerds were just desperate enough to bear the acrid smell of vaginal discharge and go for it) you've been a useless and worthless retard. The only reason your mother keeps you is to get the fat welfare check the government sends you because you won't stop using that special helmet they give you so that you don't damage your already fetal alcohol syndrome addled brain any further as a potty and putting it back on your head.

I can't wait for the humane society to come and put you down.

In other news, a Texas toddler just died when a TV fell on top of him.

wrote in message news:e8n4ap$3c6$[email]...

Dude, stringing the guy along with dumb references from the BnB show that a only fan would understand, including the last "flame", was the point. Which you missed.

I don't think he missed anything, KT. I think he was just joking you.

If I'm wrong, everyone send me $5 and I'll cancel this post. emeheheh

Would you take a photocopy of a 3rd party personal check written on a closed account?

"Argy" wrote in message news:[email]...

Ummm.....I think that fellow was also just making a joke, imo!

"frog baseball" wrote in message news:090720061358401639%[email]...

Me either, but I've been worng a lot lately too...like, a few days ago, I'm walking downtown after getting drunk and forgetting where my car was, and she said " something about doing it for $50 bucks". I told her it would cost a few more bucks and at least a burrito or chulupa or something to do her since she wasnt that hot...then she mumbled something, walked away, and got into a old Ford truck with some dude who said something about crack.... Why would a chick who wants to give money to do it care about buttcrack? I don't get it.