Hey people out there, in the words of Mr. Buzzcut, "what is your major malfunction?!?" I used to be a big fan of this newsgroup. I'm a big B-n-B fan. But unfortunately, people on this newsgroup have no imagination, and everyone posts the same things over and over and over again. Can everyone out there please come up with some new things to talk about, or refrain from repeating the same boring subjects (ie: new episodes, lack of fire, etc.). That would be cool!
M.L.
Michael Lief ([email]) wrote:
Hey mr. imagination, howa bout this for new: You suck!
Now that's the kind of cool stuff I'm talkin' about. You're pretty funny Beavis. M.L.
In article , [email] (Michael Lief) wrote:
Okay, how's this? What I want to know is, how many of you B&B fans out there went through a stage when you were somewhat or a lot like our two favorite morons? I mean watching MTV, blowing up animals, breaking stuff, the whole bit. I can personally attest to this. Today I am a college student, pacifist, somewhat lefty, reasonably responsible adult. But at age 13, it was different. Every day after school my friend Ben and I would go to his house and watch MTV for a few hours, naturally commenting continuously on what was "cool" and what "sucked." Then, we'd head out into the surrounding neighborhood in search of destructive fun: firecrackers, homemade flame-throwers, BB guns, etc. We even interacted in a very similar way to Beavis & Butt-head (I was Beavis). A few of my friends tell me they were the same, and they tend to be the ones who like the show. What gives?
Woody
P.S. My favorite line is the one about the coolest of all frogs, "there is none higher" and the episode that makes me laugh the hardest is "Closing Time."
"and I've seen a lot of frogs come and go"
The only thing I have, or have ever had in common with B&B is my watching of MTv and enjoyment of heavy metal videos. The similarity ends there. Doesn't mean I don't find it hilarious........
Tj.
[email] (Sam Wood) writes:
How many of us B&B fans can identify with _any_ of the characters? I personally was kind of like Daria when I was that age. I had a friend in high school who was an absolute Stuart. I can't think of any of my friends who were B&B though. Probably says more about our school than anything else. I even remember a teacher who was a bit like Van Driesen!
Actually, "what is your major malfunction?" is a shortened version of "What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?" spoken by Lee Ermey (Sgt Hartman) in _Full Metal Jacket_. What would really be cool is a takeoff on Full Metal Jacket with B & BH pissing Hartman off:
Hartman (to Beavis): What is your name, slimeboy? Beavis: Dick Hertz. Heh, heh, umm, heh, heh. (Hartman punches Beavis in the balls.) The first fucking thing I ever want to hear out of your filthy sewer is "Sir, yes, sir!" Beavis (in a small voice): Sir, yes, sir! Hartman: I can't hear your little fairy voice! Beavis: Sir, yes, sir! Hartman: Sound off like you've got a pair! Beavis: Sir, yes, sir! Hartman (to Butthead, visibly shaken): What's up with you, shit-for-brains? Are you a peter-puffer like Dickie boy here? Beavis (screaming): Sir, no, sir! (Hartman punches Butthead.) You're full of shit! You know you like sticking your tubesteak up Mister Hertz' ass! By the time you leave this island you won't have those tendencies, 'cause I'm gonna rip both your dicks off!
(The skit ends with Beavis and Butthead in the classroom.)
Buzzcut: I must say that the work that Sgt Hartman has done has been outstanding. You boys have dramatically improved...you no longer laugh when I talk about the penis, the testicles, or masturbation.
Beavis: Sir, yes, sir!
Butthead: Sir, we do not laugh like morons, we do not listen to heavy metal music, we are Marines! Semper Fi, do or die, sir!
Buzzcut: Outstanding!
(Hartman enters the room.)
Hartman: Buzzcut! How are my best soldiers?
Buzzcut: Sir, outstanding, sir!
Darla: I don't like the Marine Corps. They're too violent and the government contributes too much money for defense.
Hartman: Excuse me, Miss Bleeding Heart, the Marine Corps is here to defend your sorry intellectual bookworm ass any time the enemy decides to take a dump on you! We catch bullets and kick ass so you can be free! That liberal commie statement you just made has just gotten you a free trip to Parris Island, sweetheart!
Darla: But...
Hartman: And when you come back...IF you come back...The Corps will make sure that all those cheap prizes like Merit Scholarships and 1600 SAT scores are left intact! And there's no rug-munching in my beloved Marine Corps!
(All this time B & Bh have said nothing!)
Private First Class Beavis and Corporal Butthead will whip you into shape! They'll even teach you how to pee!
**********************************
(And I can dream, can't I?)
********************************************* Brian Colby | [email] ********************************************* * "On the edge of sleep, I heard the voices * * behind the door, the known and the * * nameless, familiar and faceless, my * * angels and demons at war. * * _Rush_, "Double Agent", Counterparts *