Nutschach Test - the 2004 Colonic Industries Survey

Dwayne King, Colonic Industries Clitigation Officer writes

"The overwhelming cost of lawsuits faced by Colonic Industries suggests that we really don't know what the customer wants and our products don't address their pressing needs in the turd arena. Our forward facing plan to erectify this involves moving our operation to Bungholistan, which currently has no extradition treaty with the USA, as well a asking our customers lots of stupid questions. These were devised by our in-house psychotic testing expert Dr Wilheim Scrote MD (struck off) from the University of Bogota. Please answer as honestly as you can and no confering..."

a) What is your favourite term for the act of masturbation?

b) When commiting aforesaid act, what cover story do you use with your spouse/ parents/ colleagues/ prison warders/ mall security guards?

c) Where would you like to move to and why?

d) What is the last thing you blew up?

e) With what band do fantasize performing live with?

f) With what woman do you fantasize performing on video with?

g) What kind of cheaply manafactured turd enhancing product would you pay $199.99 (+ local state taxes) a month for

Thank you for your time

Colonic Instustries - Because all turds deserve to be special

Colonic Industries

Sacking the surgeon general. English people think I have changed the subject...

you

I tell them I am plucking out nose hair. I make the same sort of noises...

Fiji seems to be popular (Red Dwarf, The Truman Show). I'd settle for Jeni's bathroom

Nothing since my attempt to build an Iraqi 'Supergun'. All my breaking things and blowing stuff up ambition was used up in that one go...

Jethro Tull, although I'm not sure if I can stand on one leg and play the flute like Ian Anderson. Failing that, 'No Doubt'. I figure if I get really close I might find Gwen Stefani's boobs.

Heidi Klum. I know a few people who think she's horrible... 'She's too thin' RB 'She's got big boobs' 'She's got no lips' RB 'Big boobs' 'She's german' RB 'Big boobs'

Big boobs anre't everything. I suspect Mr T had big boobs, but I pity the fool who wants to play with those...

month

Something that would let us run a car on turds. Another excuse to crap in the front yard.

TYDT

Playing tug of war with Cyclops.

I was looking for my lighter.

Highland. Why? I hear theres some slut there named Diarrea that puts out on the first date.

Broken computer kayboard, burnt it to a molten pile of goo too.

Right Said Fred.

Depends on the video. Jeni is pretty hot.

A display case for my turd collection with gold plating capabilities.

EVERY turd I give birth to is special.

Why? How can I put this... They could have been friends with Freddie!

"Roy Batty" wrote in message news:cd9mog$6n5$[email]...

Yes, thats why! I'd be the only guy there likes chicks, therefore I'd have no competition with all the groupies that want to come backstage after the show...you disappoint me, Roy, you can't miss the genius in this, can you??!!. After rocking out in front of his crowd in true rock-star fashion and scoring with all the chicks in the arena, I'd sit him down, offer him a kevlar cod-piece, provide several groupie 'kittens' for possible 'favors' and try to 'straighten things out'.

with

therefore I'd have

backstage after the

in this, can

rock-star fashion

down, offer him a

possible 'favors'

That's pretty low cunning. Maybe they've got some vacancies in the Village People. I'd like to be either the policeman or the construction worker. Then I'd have a baton or a wrench to hand in case of any 'misunderstandings'...

TYDT

"Roy Batty" schreef in bericht news:cd9kpb$jg0$[email]

mheheh... you said "erect"

psycho's rule!

Junior olympic pole vaulting

Need to meditate...

Hugh Hefner's place. Definetely Hugh Hefner's place. Still need to know why?

A crow. With the ol' 20-gauge shotgun... mehheh SQRIEK! and then nothing but the silence of falling feathers.

Motorhead. Coz they have this slutty chick with big bOObs getting naked on stage.

Trinity Loren... no, wait, she's like, dead 'n stuff. Make that Christy Canyon. Yeah, CC will do fine... boioioioioinnngg!

None. I would spend that kind of money on beer, and nacho's and other cool items, like guns 'n stuff. Firearms are cool.

That'll be like, eight dollars or something. Thank you, drive through.

Is this spam?

Nice to hear that Michael Moore flag-burning bunghole hasn't taken all your guns. He sucks. Carlton Heston rules, especially in that film 'Soylent Green'.

This is not spam. I'm not offering you drugs, a virus, a larger penis or pictures of Dick Dastardly and Daphne from Scooby Doo, getting it on. Then again, it would explain how he got his name...

TYDT

video

chicks with braces.

Yeah, on the other hand it can make ***certain acts*** hazardous. It's like barbed wire for the mouth... Didn't Nancy Keriggan have a brace (and I don't mean on her knee)? Maybe I just prefer to remember her that way...

On Fri, 16 Jul 2004 21:26:19 +0100, "Roy Batty" wrote:

Corralling the tadpoles

"I'm just checking to see if this bottle of Astroglide is still good."

Crusted Butte, Colorado

a big rubber

Yanni

All of the mannekins in a Robert Palmer video.

"I'll take 3 of the chicks in green... and 5 of the ones in pink, please."

Froot Loops

No problemo

CyberButt, (but please don't use my real name).

"Roy Batty" wrote in message news:...

walking the dog

I was searching for the little man in the boat

Lake Titty-caca, need I say more?

A xeroxed copy of my thingies

KISS

JENNA JAMESON!

SlurPEE

Thank you for your interest in my turds!

Yeah, butt aren't they?

video

whooooaaaa mama...

no. there is such thing as 'a turd of distinction'.