My childhood friend's name was Perrin, which his French for Peter. His last name was Goyer.
He had a big ol' fort that he stocked with T.P. and wetnaps. His theory was, "Piss on a leaf, leave a drink for an animal. Shit in a hole, feed the worms."
Works for me! By the way, Jeni, if you're reading this, my pee-pee is still waiting to make your acquaintance.