pr�$pct for g�ld in y�ur �wn turd$ @@@C�l�n�c Ind�str��s@@@ 6969

Dr Dubious J Wiener MD of the Newark School of Proctology reports

"With falling share prices and reduced investor confidence it is becoming harder and harder to find ways to save for the future and accumulate a healthy pension fund. While disillusioned people like yourself search the Wall Street Journal for the next NYSE or NUTSAQ performer, other opportunities are going to waste -

Unknown to you a healthy spource of income is going down the toilet every time you flush!

FACT!    The average turd has a gold content of 1.5%*
FACT!    Each bowel movement has a 0.5% chance of yielding a
gold nugget in excess of a quarter ounce.
FACT!    Turds contain other precious stones and metals
including platinum, silver, plutonium and zinc

With a colonic industries panhandling kit, these precious commodities can be collected and sold for profit, often sold within hours of your final push. Why give your gold away to the utility company when you can harvest the wealth yourself?

$250 Buys a personal panhandling kit for the fecal extraction of precious stones and metals in the privacy of your own home! $3000 Buys an automated communal panhandler. The combined crapping power of your apartment block or trailer park can make you and your neighbours players on the commodities market!

Phone 0800-TURDOFGOLD and find how you can excrete your own wealth"

Colonic Industries. We're with you from clench to plop.

*Statistics reflect estimates based on autopsy results of 194 victims of the Bungholistan gold poisoning disaster. You may not find gold in your own turds. Gold yield may be related to gold consumption. You may not crap as much gold as you eat.Consumption of gold, precious and semi-precious stones and metals may be bad for your health.

Its about damn time someone posted something on here. I'm tired of doing all the work, dammit. Sign me up for a gross of the communal ones. Comprende, amigo, a gross, thats 144.

I'LL BE SENDING YUU A CHEQUE IN THE AMOUNTE OF $432,000US (FOUR HUNDREND THIRTY TWO THOUSAND US DOLLARS) WOURHT OF TURDS FOR PAYMENTY. BUT I WILL NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE IN GETTING THE NIGERIAN TURD FUND (NTF) OUT OF THE COUNTRY DUE TO AN OVERINVOIECD ACCOUNT FROM THE FORMER HEAD OF THE NIGHERIAN OIL COUNCIL AND A DEAD PRINCE OF THE REPUBLIC OF TURD KINGDOM. I WOULD LIKE TO GAIN YOUR TRUSTED ASSISTANCE IN TRANSFERING THESE FUNDS FROM MY ACCOUNT INTO YOUR ACCOUNT> FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE I WILL GIVE YOU 20% OF THESE NIGERIAN TURD FUND (NTF) OVER INVOICED ACCOUNT FUNDS. IF YOU WILL ASSIST ME IN THIS MOST TRUSTSD BUSINESS ENDEAVOUR IN MOST STRICT COINFIDENCE, PLEASE CONTAT ME SO THAT WE CAN CONTUNUE WITH THIS MOST MUTUALLY LUCRITIVE BUSINASS PROPOSAL.

BUKINGAKE TURDAKA

"Roy Batty" wrote in message news:c7ucad$9l4$[email]...

Yeah, I get those Nigerian Bungholes. I think most of them live in London, (no Londoners live in London anymore, the most commonly heard phrase there is 'do you speak English?').

It's gone quiet out there. I was concern we had scared away Jeni with our carefully constructed argument as to why she should show us her boobs - and she still hasn't and the ng is stagnating so the logic still stands. Otherwise I'd be happy to hear from anybody. Even that Ralph Nadless bunghole, at least he has a funny name.

I'd draw the line at Abe though although he's probably prospecting in his nappies now. He's just too damn old to be interesting...

So here's my bank details anyway

Ralph Nader Second National Bank of Flag Burning Tree Hugging Vermont Bungholes Sort Code 69-69-69 Account Password 'Kiss My Greasy Arse'

TYDT

"Roy Batty" wrote in message news:c7vgmq$u17$[email]...

Not much different than sunny Florida, except its not Nigerian Bungholes. I went to a fast food place in Miami while traveling through once, and the menu was in Spanish and none of the employees spoke English. Or would own up to knowing it and talk to my gringo ass anyway. I had to point to the mouse burger and french flies to communicate what I wanted. Spanish chicks are usually pretty hot though.

Nigerian Bungholes. I

once, and the

English. Or would own

to point to the

wanted.

At least you can shave a pencil moustache and call yourself 'Hulio'. I don't know if Hulio is a real Spanish name but the hispanic embalmer with a gay brother 's kid in 'Six Feet Under' is called Hulio so it must be true. In one episode he complains to his boss: 'We got no space, little hulio has to play next to a dumpster'

What more does a kid need?

TYDT

normal?

Or keep them in the sock draw...

"Roy Batty" wrote in message news:c80tc7$7rj$[email]...

Or in your basement in little jars.

Seeing as we haven't heard from Anderson lately and so can't verify his movements may I recommend a deposit at 3rd National Savings and Turds. Where your investment can safely accumulate, (mostly flies and methane).

TYDT