Thats really some sick shit
Want to stroke Maggie Simpson's vagina?!!
Jul 19, 2004, 7:01 AM ET18 posts by 5 postersalt.tv.beavis-n-butthead
18 posts
Yeah!@ And if your baby is a Princess Turd, when she turns 18 and "legal," you'll no longer think of 18-year-old chicks as hot. You'll realize that they are still just children at that age. You'll be kicking young dude's asses right and left during her teenage years. ehehehheh
My daughter is 25 now and I'm still kicking ass here! eheheh ;o
"Argy" wrote in message news:[email]...
Yep, baby will be a Princess Turd. I'll be sure to be cleaning a shotgun and watching 'Faces of Death' while laughing hysterically every time some dude comes by to see her, mumbling about killing anyone who touches my little girl with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch. That might help keep him from trying to do what I did back then.
"King Turd" schreef in bericht news:WkYKc.15$[email]
Yeah, yeah! It's like a typical cosnrevation -or something- in KT's future living room:
WHAT does Princess Turd look like?
...What!?
What country RU from?
...What!?
What is a country I never heard of, do they speak English in what?
...What!?
ENGLISH mothaf*cka, DO - YOU - SPEAK - IT?
...What!?<KT loads and points his 12 gauge, nickel-plated, pump-action, sawed-off shotgun>
Say what one more time, I dare you, I double-dare you mothaf*cka; say
what one more goddamn time...
What does Princess Turd look like?
...s.. s.. s.. she's blond...
Does she look like a slut?
...What!?
KHABOOM!!!(mhheheh... firearms rule!)
<meanwhile Queen Turd comes storming out of the kitchen>
WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON HERE !?
I shot Princess' boyfriend in the face.
Again? Why 'the hell did you do that for?
...he said "what"...
Well, don't you think eventually she's gonna notice?
Every time one of her boyfriends doesn't show up, the living room
happens to be covered in blood and eeny-weeny bits of brain 'n skull...
AARGH, DAMMIT, and learn how to aim, will ya?
Look at that, you blew the stereo to pieces, we only had it for a week,
you messed up the other one when you shot her sports teacher through the
kneecaps, remember?
Aargh, what a mess...
I'm telling you, I'm gonna cancel the subscription to Spank Magazine if
you pull this kinda stunt again!
...but honey...
DON'T YOU HONEY ME, KT, OKAY?
Don't you honey me, in exactly 45 mins Princess will be walking in here,
and if she seez you've been busy systematically shooting her boyfriends
to pieces, you're getting divorced.
No marriage counselling, d i v o r c e d, got it?
...I suggest you start making some phonecalls to them no-life
usenet-buddies of yours...On Tue, 20 Jul 2004 08:33:09 +0200, "aghasee" wrote:
RIIIINGGG!!!!
<CyberButt> (picking up phone) Hello?
<King Turd> Uh, CyberButt? It's King Turd! I have a little problem here.
<CyberButt> (pause) Do I know you?
<King Turd> A little misunderstanding! Involving my daughters' boyfriend and a 12 gauge shotgun!
<CyberButt> Um...
<King Turd> I'm down at the county jail! Can you help me???
<CyberButt> Sure dude... don't drop the soap! (click)
No problem, I don't use soap. Once I get out can I crash on your couch for a week or two?
"CyberButt" schreef in bericht news:[email]
ROTFL! Then after 22 years between the gangsta's, KT finally gets out on parole (due to good behavior) and all of a sudden "gigantic bunghole" gets a new definition. mhehehh... Not to drop the soap is very advisable, but(t) picking it up again is the really risky part...
"aghasee" wrote in message news:40fcbce1$0$62367> WHAT does Princess Turd look like?
And then you will know THAT I AM THE LORD!
That RULED by the way, you should write comedy or something. You could be rich. Then you'd have an extra couch for me to crash on once I get out of jail.
eheheh...I actually really did something similar once when my daughter was about 16 and some new boyfriend came over to pick her up. I don't own any guns but I decided that this would be a good time to sharpen my old hunting knife. I was sitting on the back porch sharpening it when he showed up and she brought him out to meet me. ehehehheheh
Ted Nugent would approve! eheheh
Don't forget the "Al Bundy" method of dealing with boyfriends. Just show them out the door and bang their heads on the door frame before throwing them out and slamming the door. ehehheheh
boyfriends. Just
frame before
That 'Uncle Buck' movie had a lot of great ideas for fathers (or uncles) in this predicament. I enjoyed the cordless powerdrill scene the most...
"Argy" wrote in message news:[email]...
I'll post the story on how the boyfriend reacts to the shotgun faces of death thing here in about 16 years of so. I probably won't kill him though. I hear rock salt in a shotgun stings real bad though.
"King Turd" schreef in bericht news:_3BLc.13568$[email]
Rice! Go for the rice!!! Uncle Ben is some hard-hittin' nigga...
On Wed, 21 Jul 2004 17:18:03 -0400, "King Turd" wrote:
Ok, I'll check back.
"CyberButt" schreef in bericht news:[email]
I wonder if the Hannibal Lecter-approach would work? By the time the boyfriend in question is about to show up, make sure you're wearing a similar convict-outfit, and leave the mask lying casually on the kitchen table. Speak with the same, monotone, nasal voice. Sniff around alot and start dinner -liver with fava beans and Chianti- not with the obligatory prayer, but with the words "ready when you are, <name of boyfriend>". Mhehehheh...
"CyberButt" schreef in bericht news:[email]
I wonder if the Hannibal Lecter-approach would work? By the time the boyfriend in question is about to show up, make sure you're wearing a similar convict-outfit, and leave the mask lying casually on the kitchen table. Speak with the same, monotone, nasal voice. Sniff around alot and start dinner -liver with fava beans and Chianti- not with the obligatory prayer, but with the words "ready when you are, <name of boyfriend>". Mhehehheh...
"King Turd" schreef in bericht news:JRNKc.4561$[email]
Yeah, really. It's like beyond the limits of good taste 'n stuff. Those preverts don't have no manners.
"aghasee" wrote in message news:40fbfedf$0$62389$[email]...
Fortunately it now appears that the complaints from all over usenet have paid off, site is down.