B&B are Howard Stern (core_dump's first fanfic in a LOOOONG time)
(TV)
HOWARD STERN: Take off your top. PORN STAR: Sure, Howard. I'll do anything Howard Stern tells me to do (takes off her top)
(B&B)
BUTTHEAD: Uhuhuhh, whoa, cool. BEAVIS: Yeah heh. I'm getting a stiffie. I wish I was Howard Stern. Then I can like, score. BUTTHEAD: (light bulb) I have an idea, Beavis. We could, like, find a magic lamp and make a wish to be Howard Stern. BEAVIS: Whoa! Cool! BUTTHEAD: Settle down, dillweed. Let's go down to the dumpster and find a lamp. Huhuhuh dump. BEAVIS: Yeah heh
(in alley)
(B&B digging through dumpster)
BUTTHEAD: Uhuhuhhuh here's a lamp. (It's all broken up and the end of the cord is cut off.
(B&B at home)
BEAVIS: So, what are we gonna do, heh BUTTHEAD: We have to rub the lamp, huhuhu rub. (Butthead plugs in cord) I will turn on the lamp first. (lamp doesn't turn on because cord is cut) Uhhhh, (flicks it a couple times) Uhhhh BEAVIS: (Puts cord on wall and cord on lamp together) I think we have to hold the cord together ButtheAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! BUTTHEAD: Huhuhuhuhu cool. (rubs lamp)
GENIE: I am the genie of the lamp. Make your wish. BEAVIS: AAHAAHAHAHAA(slap)Owww, Butthead! BUTTHEAD: The genie's here, dumbass. Now let's make our wish. BEAVIS: We wish we were Howard Stern. BUTTHEAD: Uhhhh, Yeah. GENIE: Wouldn't you rather be Ron Jeremy or something better instead where you ALWAYS get the girl naked... BUTTHEAD: Shut up, buttmunch. We want to be Howard Stern. GENIE: Okay, then...
ANNOUNCER: Now back to the Butthead Stern Radio Show, on K-Rock. PORN STAR: Hi, Howard. BUTTHEAD: Uhhhh, Take off your top. PORN STAR: Sure, Howard (takes off top) BUTTHEAD: Whoa! I'm getting a stiffie. Could we like, do it? PORN STAR: Sure, Howard...
ANNOUNCER: Now back to the Beavis Stern Radio Show on K-Rock BEAVIS: heheheh Take off your top PORN STAR: No way! I'd never take off my top for you! BEAVIS: heheh What? I'm Howard Stern. I order you to take off your top. PORN STAR: No! BEAVIS: What? (pulls up shirt) I am Cornholio! I need you to take off your top! PORN STAR: What the hell is wrong with you?
(BUTTHEAD and PORN STAR doing it on the air) PORN STAR: OOOOHHH YEAH HOWARD... BUTTHEAD: Uhuhuhuhuh.... (FCC GUY and POLICE comes in) (POLICE all around, guns, handcuffs Butthead) FCC GUY: You're under arrest for indecent conduct on the air! BUTTHEAD: Uhuhuhuhh, cool. This is the coolest day I have ever seen. It's like, I scored, and there's cops everywhere!
(BUTTHEAD in jail) BUTTHEAD: Uhuhuhuhuhuhuhu I scored. Uhuhuhuh I wonder if Beavis scored too?
BEAVIS: Dammit! I'm Howard Stern and I order you to take off your top. PORN STAR: No! BEAVIS: DAMMIT! I'M NEVER GONNA SCORE! I'M NEVER GONNA SCORE!...
BUTTHEAD: (rubbing lamp) Uhuhuhuhuh there's no genie! This, like, isn't a magic lamp. Beavis! (Slap) You dumbass, knock it off! (Slap) (Slap) BEAVIS: AAAAAHAHAHAHHA(slap)AHAHAHAHAHAH(slap)AHAHAHAHAHHAHHA BUTTHEAD: Uhhhhhh, (looks at cord), (looks at beavis) AAAHAHAHAHA, (looks at cord), (looks at beavis) AAAAHAHAHAHAH, (looks at cord), (looks at beavis) AAAAHAHAHAHAH, (looks at cord), (looks at beavis) AAAAHAHAHAHAH, I think I got an idea uhuhuhuhu (unplugs cord) (spark) BEAVIS: AAAHAHHAHAHeh heh m heh Dammit Butthead! I was Howard Stern and I still didn't score! And You were Howard Stern, and You scored! BUTTHEAD: Huhuhuhuh it was all a dream, Beavis. BEAVIS: Don't dreams like, have secret meaning? BUTTHEAD: Uhuhuh Yeah. I will score someday, and you will never score.