My sacrifices for this country!

For the benefit of "Turd":

I'll leave out the small stuff, here's the things I've actually earned medals for serving this great country back in WWII.

1. Boot camp graduation - I woke up every morning at 0200 to shine my buttons, polish my boots, clean my gun, and swab the latrine. Then I got rode all day by my sergeant. At night the other guys elected my to clean their equipment, too, so I didn't usually get to sleep before 0300.

2. Pearl Harbor - I was there as part of a Marine detachment watching the ships. The fellas took a vote and I was real honored when they picked me to row into the harbor to draw enemy fire. Those guy were the greatest. I felt for them when the barracks was bombed by mistake while I was in the harbor.

3. Guadalcanal - We was pinned down by a Japanese machine gun nest and some of the guys suggested I should bring some sandwiches to the enemy because they was probably hungry. I guess I startled them because they surrendered when I got to them. After a few days of C-rations, I felt like surrendering too.

4. Sicily, 1943 - Beautiful people, them Italianos. My sarge dared me to go ring the doorbell of a man by the name of Dan Corleone and then run away. Well, he caught me, but then he laughs and kisses me on both cheeks! Next thing you know, I get this medal. I guess he had some friends back in the states in government or something.

5. Anzio 1944 - My Purple Heart for getting shot in the head. The doctor told me the bullet had buried itself about 4 or 5 inches from my brain. Too close for comfort, if you ask me. The thing was, he said that the bullet was American. I guess the Krauts had got ahold of some of our ammo somehow, the bastards. Good thing I wasn't hurt too bad.

6. D-day, 1944 - Couple of Frenchmen gave me directions to a real good French toast place, but I musta got mixed up because I got caught smack dab in the middle of a Panzer division. I ran and they chased me right into a ditch and busted up their tanks. I'd like to go back and find that French toast place sometime.

7. Battle of the Bulge - The Germans was firing their new rockets at us for days. My C.O. told me the rockets were really Martians coming to help the Americans win the war and would I got out and open up an unexploded rocket and say hi. Well, I did, and I accidentally defused the thing, which was good because I saved a bunch of nuns that were walking past.

8. Berlin 1945 - The fellas all told me they were going to a bar and I should meet them at some place called "The Bunker". Well, you know me and directions. I got to a bunker but it was owned by Hitler, but I didn't know that until I tried to order a beer. He had a headache and he needed to go take some pills and lie down. Next thing you know, the place is on fire. I thought for sure I'd get blamed, but I got this medal instead.

Whew, that's a lot of typing for these old fingers, but there you go, turd-boy.

On Sun, 11 May 2003 17:53:42 -0600, "Tom Anderson" wrote:

You still have'nt answered my question though. How many little boys have you buried your tool in? Come on spanky, you can tell us. I was hangin' out at the vfw the other day, and Moose thompson said you were pretty fond of them little asian boys over in nam. That's why you were in the harbor, meating, I mean meeting, no wait I meant meating your little boyfreind yuk foo. You were'nt drawing enemy fire, you were firing your salami into that poor little vietnamese boy. Poor kid, good thing your hung like a cocktail weenie. And another thing, how dare you consort with the enemy, some war hero you are. Here's a warning to all you little boys out there, don't bend over in front of mr. anderson, and for god's sake don't go into his toolshed, that's his dna on the walls and floor, and all over that poor little vietnamese boys, yuk foo, dim sum, short round, and cletus. Cletus being some kid he picked up in the supermarket picking out cucumbers. Well mr. anderson,, I hope you wake up and come to grips that you represent all that is wrong with society today. Oh yeah, one final thing. If your wife is a chick, then why does she have nads?

"Dave" wrote in message news:[email]...

First of all, which part of "WWII" don't you understand? I was never in Nam, and I don't know any "Moose Thompson". I try to answer one ad for some extra money and before you know it, out come the perverts again. Good day, and stay the hell off my property.

On Sun, 11 May 2003 19:44:49 -0600, "Tom Anderson" wrote:

Oh, so ur a nazi sympathizer are you. Well that's even better, how's ur boyfreind gustav, and shecky la riue? You say you don't know moose thompson, eh? Well he sure knows you, and he has the video to prove it. I think it's called when mr. anderson attacks little boys. And anyway I got wally messershmitt to back up what moose thompson told me. The facts are all were after sir, so if ur done humpin' the neihbors dog sparky, we should get down to business. By the way, how did it feel to be able to ride hitler's mustache in his bunker?