Butt Bowl III

hey...if you punks stop calling my phone, I'll kick your ass!!!!

In article , Harry Sachz wrote:

Congratulations, Tess! Something told me you would be the first one to claim that name! While you're at it, here's something from Stewy I just pulled off the wires. Looks like the dumbass never did figure out who or what it was that busted all those plates on his ass.

----------------------BEGIN REPOST FROM STEWY BABY--------------------------- Article #3705 (3705 is last): From: [email] (Stewart King) Newsgroups: alt.fan.ok-soda,alt.fan.zoogz-rift,alt.fan.karl-malden.nose Subject: Re: Latest Harvard Forgery (was: The art of the talentless) Date: Sat Jan 27 14:14:10 1996

melissa's stinky little secret ([email]) wrote:

Listen, I'm not interested. Some things to consider:

1. "You're getting better?" If you're so hot with the headers perhaps your eyes should mosey on over to the timestamp of these messages, which would clearly tell you that they were all posted within fifteen minutes of each other, and further, that this particular fifteen-minute interval occurred over a week ago.

2. You seem to be under the impression that I am desperately trying to convince people that I am Zoogz Rift for some ulterior purpose. There are many, many reasons why I would not want to do this. Here are a few.

        - People find Zoogz Rift irritating.
        - Zoogz Rift is not funny.
        - Many, many people have killfiled Zoogz Rift.
        - If I actually did something bad to Zoogz Rift in his name I
          would stand a chance of losing my free university account,
          without which I would slowly and painfully wither and die.
        - I have no reason to actually harm Zoogz Rift.

I was not even trying to be sneaky. If I had wanted to be anonymous I might just possibly have posted from somewhere other than my own computer, which leaves my username in the headers of every post, a fact of which I have been clearly aware for some months.

The fact is I was simply trying to start a discussion between three or four people named Zoogz Rift, which I thought would be amusingly surreal and sexy. After about twenty minutes I decided that it was a stupid idea, and stopped.

That was the end of it. Or so I thought.

3. I have, in fact, been ignoring this entire crossposted armageddon of a situation, because I now find it boring. I think this is very cool and Gen-X CyBeR-"angst"y of me and I'm now trendy as all fuck. The upshot is, I'm no longer persecuting you, so no matter how much you want to have an epic battle of good vs. moamo across newsgroups galore into the deepest reaches of CyBeRsPaCe I'm not going to play with you.

I'm not sure if I'm getting through to your apparently hive-like social structure, but I guess it's worth a shot.

Hmm.

FIGHT OVER! BEES VICTORIOUS! FIND HONEY! FIND HONEY!

There we go.

-stewart

<Flushes toilet again and again and, etc.> IT'S HARRY SACHZ!

Glad to see it was Stewart's dad who got to, uhh, test whether toilet water is safe to drink or something, Mheh heh heh m heh heh heh!

And then a ce..cell..cellarphone stuck up his butt..that RULED! And then B&B called his phone and made his butt hurt..that, uhh, kicked ass..uhh figurinative and stuff.

Alex, inspired by PRANK CALL to put an answering machine in my butthole as well; I can get messages and PooP! at the same time. That would be cool!