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<Scene is dark, a room fades in, two kids are typing at computers>
Gyrex: Hey all! This is a collaborative fanfic between Kyle and me!
Kyle: Yeah hi!!! This fanfic is gonna kick ass!
Gyrex: Well, let's start it already!
**********************************************************
<Scene is in a dark hideout>
<a figure is seen, relentlessly typing over a computer>
Leonardo DiCaprio: Ahah!! I have found it! The one true weakness of all animated characters! The FANFIC!!!
<dramatic music>
Leo: I will BEAT Sheila! And I will have her Orb!! I can control her with this simple computer, only by making up a story with it! Now no one will laugh at me! No one will criticize my badly made movies! And best of all, I will actually have power over the fanfic writers!! Hear that Drew! Jess!
<Yams fall from the sky, one smacks Leo on the head>
Leo: OW! DAMMIT!!
Jess: Don't f<beep> with us Leo! We control you now!
Leo: Wrong!
<He types at his computer, the words "Jess and Gyrex lose all Control of me" are seen>
Leo: Hah!
Gyrex: No! Somehow he has broken the Law of the Fanfics!
Jess: Yeah the one that says, no character may create a fanfic of their own to destroy the world!
Leo: Well I now can do just that! And I *AM* doing just that!
<Scene changes to South Park, our Scamps are at the bustop>
Sheila: DAMMIT!
Cartman: What is it Sheila?
Sheila: Damn these stupid fanfics! Why the hell do we have to do them anyway!
<suddenly the screen fades black, then fades in again in the room where Gyrex and Jess are typing>
Gyrex: Whew, they're here Jess!
Jess: Yeah!
Gyrex: Guys, there's no time to explain, so here's a printout of what we need to tell you.
Sheila: Dude! This doesn't look too good!!!
Cartman: Looks like we're doomed!
[Fade out. Fade in to Sheila's room, later that night. She's in pajamas, talking to herself]
Sheila: What the hell am I supposed to do? Leo is going to write himself as the owner of my powers! How on earth can I stop him? Oh, to hell with it for now. I'm getting some sleep!
[Sheila goes to sleep, now, we see her dream sequence]
[Silhouette of a caped Sheila is shown standing on the world]
[Lights gradually go on. Sheila is standing, on the world, grinning. She's wearing a black skirt thingy, blue shiny tanktop, a black cape, and her hair is all crimped out. She is also holding a pinwheel.]
[Star Wars theme is playing in background]
Sheila: What the hell?!? That's not my theme!!! Oh, well. Announcer, dude, you're on!
Announcer: Faster than a speeding Cartman.
Kyle: [popping up] Dude! Cartman's not fast! He's too fat!
Sheila: Cut it out! I'm in superhero mode here!
Announcer: More powerful than a Cheesy Poof!
Stan: [popping up] Dude! A Cheesy Poof isn't powerful! It's just a puffy little cheese thingy!
Sheila: NO COMMENTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY!!!!!
Announcer: Can leap tall pinwheels in a single bound!
Kyle: Sheila can't jump over pinwheels--she's too short!
Sheila: That's *IT*! Screw the music!
[Music stops]
[Screen goes black]
[We can hear Kyle and Sheila screeching at each other]
Kyle: OWWW!!!!!! GET THIS DAMN THING OUTTA MY ASS!!!
[Sounds of stuff exploding]
[The curtain goes back up, but there's no one standing on the world]
Sheila: What the hell are you doing?!? Wait for me!!! GEEZ!!!!!!
[Sheila gets back on the world. Kenny sneaks up behind her, and mocks her superhero poses]
Sheila: I am the defender of justice, goodness, and all things Cartman! I am...
Kenny: [mocking Sheila] Mmmph mmm mrph mmmm mrphie!!!!!!
Sheila: *YOU*!!!! GET OUTTA HERE!! YOU'RE RUINING MY SUPERHERO MOMENT!!!
Kenny: {What did you say before about Cartman's thing?}
[Kenny laughs]
Sheila: YAAAHHHH!!!!!!
[Sheila pushes Kenny off the world]
[Stan and Kyle appear]
Sheila: You say it, and you're NEXT!!!
Stan: Oh my God! She killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastard!
Sheila: AAAHHH!!!! I WARNED YOU!!!!!
[Sheila pushes Stan and Kyle off the world]
Sheila: O*KAY*!!! Back to business! Music please!
[Star Wars theme goes back on]
Sheila: Oh, well. Wrong music again. But I'm past the point of caring about that.
Sheila: OK, now where were we?
[Sheila adjusts her cape]
Sheila: I am the defender of justice, goodness, and all things Cartman! I right all wrongs with the power of the pinwheel! Hail the power of the pinwheel! I am.....PSYCHO-BITCH!!!!!
[Strikes a pose with the pinwheel. She loses her balance and falls off the world]
Sheila: DAMMIT!
[We now see the real Sheila sit up in bed]
Sheila: That's IT!!! I got Pinwheel Power!! Now, I'm gonna be a superhero! All right, world! Watch out, 'cause Psycho-Bitch is HERE and ready for action!!!!
[Kenny pops in, and laughs]
Kenny: {Action from fatass, no doubt!}
Sheila: HEY!!!! DON'T piss off a superhero! It's not a very good idea, now is it?
Kenny: {You're a superhero?}
Sheila: Yeah! Now I am. Got a problem with that?
Kenny: {Umm, no}
[Kenny disappears]
[Sheila goes to her desk, and pulls out some papers]
Sheila: Aha! My parents left me a space station, when they went to jail after helping the aliens. Seems those aliens gave them this space station, to thank them for their work. This'll do just fine�
<Scene is Out in Leo's hideout, he is typing>
Leo: There. Now it's set that Sheila will deliver her powers to me, and Drew and Jess will be powerless!
Gyrex: LEO DAMMIT! WE'LL KICK YOUR ASS!
Jess: Yeah! We'll come down there ourselves and whoop ya!
Leo: Not if I can help it!
<Leo types in his computer the words "Drew and Jess can no longer access my hideout">
Leo: HAHAHAHAHAAA!
Gyrex: NOOO! DAMN YOU LEONARDO DICAPRIO!!!!
<Scene changes to South Park, Sheila is walking down the street to Chef's house>
Sheila: I wonder if Chef could help me get to the space station!
<rings Chef's doorbell>
Chef: <opens door> Hello Sheila? What can I do you for?
<Kenny walks by, laughs like hell>
Sheila: DAMN YOU KENNY!
Chef: Sheila, what do you need?
Sheila: Well, I need to get to a Space Station that is way out in the Zamboni Quadrant!
<Editors note, You have to watch Star Trek to get this>
Chef: The Zamboni Quadrant? That's pretty far out there! But, I think I can help!
<Chef opens his garage, an alien spaceship is sitting in it>
Chef: I've had this since 1989, when I first discovered the visitors. Here, if you really need it, go ahead!
Sheila: Kick ass!
<Sheila gets in her ship, ship crashes through Chef's garage roof>
Chef: Ah, Dammit!!
<Ship wobbles around, smacks into a plane, then rockets into outer space>
Chef: Wait a minute. What the f<beep> did I just do?!
<Scene turns to the Space Station PS-B>
<Sheila has her cape stuff, with lots of pinwheel arsenal behind her>
Sheila: Now, what have we got here, let's see, pinwheel-launching tank, rocket powered pinwheel launcher, flame-throwing pinwheels, aha! This oughta do it!
<Sheila holds up a REALLY big gun>
Sheila: The Mega 2000 Gyro Pinwheel Blaster! (M2GPB)
<she shoots at a poster on the board that has lots of pinwheels in it, it's of Leonardo DiCaprio>
Sheila: Eat this, DiCapitated!
<The poster and a lot of the wall behind it is completely destroyed>
Sheila: Dammit!
<Sheila opens up a door at the other end of that room, and enters. We see big computer console thingies along the wall, radar things, plus a bunch of pinball and video games. It's basically a huge recreation center, only with a little bit of official stuff>
Sheila: Soda bar, swimming pool, big screen TV, *EVERYTHING*!!! This superhero business kicks ass!
<The door to the room opens. Cartman enters>
Sheila: Eric!! You're here!!! Now I'm *REALLY* loving this superhero stuff!!!
Cartman: Sheila! Where'd you get this place? It kicks ass!
Sheila: It was my parents from before I moved to South Park. I just found out about it, and now it's my headquarters. Hey, do you want to have a Quickie with me?
Cartman: Sweet!
<Sheila goes over to an ice cream machine, and makes two Quickies>
Jess: <voice only is heard> DAMMIT!!! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SAVING THE WORLD!!! NOT EATING QUICKIES!!!
Sheila: HEY!!!! CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE BUSY?!? DON'T INTERRUPT OUR QUICKIE, OR I'LL SHOVE FIFTY ZILLION PINWHEELS UP YOUR NOW-INVISIBLE ASS!!!!
Drew: <voice only is heard> Well, just hurry up with the goddamn Quickie!
<Now, we go to outside of the space station. Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and some other dude are riding in a space ship thingy. The other dude looks like Stan, with brown hair, and he isn't wearing a hat. NOTE: This is an original character created by Gyrex Derision. ;-) >
Stan: Dude! Is that it? <points at space center>
Kyle: Yeah! That's where I saw fatass go, anyway.
<As they are about to reach it, a vortex opens up. It's all swirly with psychedelic colors, and their space ship flies through this vortex>
Kyle: Dude! What the hell is happening? I sure as hell don't know!!!
<As they fly through this thing, Twilight Zone-ish music starts to play. Then we hear Sheila's voice>
Sheila's Voice: You have entered the vortex between space and....*WHATEVER*! Between schmegagy and fanoopel....between Cartman and pinwheel....You have entered the Psycho Bitch Zone!!!!!
Amusement Park Girl Announcer Voice: Please keep all arms and legs inside the space cruiser while entering the Psycho Bitch Zone. Please hold on to all loose articles, hats, etc. Prepare for hell and may the Force be with you! Enjoy your ride!!!!!
<Color vortex ends, and there's a blackout>
<Back to the space station>
<Cartman and Sheila are sitting in front of the big screen TV, with about 50 empty boxes of Cheesy Poofs scattered about>
<The door opens and Kyle, Stan, Kenny, and the other dude enters>
Cartman: Awww, weak! Stupid hippies interrupting us when we're busy making love!
Kyle: You guys weren't making love! You were eating Cheesy Poofs!!!
Sheila: SAME THING!!!
<Kenny laughs>
Sheila: NO COMMENTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY!!!! DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!!!
<Sheila gets out a really big pinwheel gun and fires it at the four>
<They all screech and try to hide>
<Cartman goes off to the kitchen area>
<All of a sudden, Sheila stops in her tracks>
Sheila: AARGH!! SUPERHERO SHOES AREN'T FITTING RIGHT! DAMN THESE SHOES!!!
<Falls on her ass>
Sheila: *DAMN* these shoes!
<Sheila gets up and stares at the four>
Sheila: <about to chase them again> YOU'RE GONNA D...Wait a second! Who the *F<beep>* is that?!? <points at the other dude>
Stan: That's Nathan. He's my cousin.
Sheila: Oh, hi Nathan!
Nathan: Hi! You're Sheila, right?
Sheila: Yeah...but HOW THE HELL DID HE GET HERE?
Stan: Dude! Look! Video games!
<Stan and Kyle go off to the video games>
Sheila: HOW THE HELL DID HE GET HERE?!?! ANSWER ME, DAMMIT!!!
<Sheila is ignored>
Sheila: <sighs> Oy fanoopel!
<Cartman re-enters with more Cheesy Poofs>
Cartman: <sees Nathan> Who the *F<beep>* is that?
Sheila: Stan's cousin Nathan, who seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.
Cartman: Oh.
<Nathan looks at the TV. They have a commercial for MCI on>
Nathan: MCI!!! DIEDIEDIE!!! EVIL!!!!!
<His eyes go weird, and he stares at the TV. It explodes>
Cartman: Whoa!
Sheila: DAMMIT!!! NOW I DON'T HAVE A TV!!!!!!
<Old TV is taken away by a robot and a new one is put there>
Sheila: Oh.
<A computer console starts beeping crazily. Sheila runs over and looks at it>
Sheila: AAAAAARRRRGGGGH!!!!
Everyone: What?
Sheila: Well, it looks like we're in *DEEP <beep>*!!!!
Nathan: How?
Sheila: This computer thing beeping says a large craft is hovering outside of the station!
<they look outside through a porthole thing, a giant spaceship is seen that says LNDC (Leonardo DiCaprio on it>
Stan: *DUDE*!
Sheila: It's Leonardo DiCaprio! He's come to fight me! Dammit! I'm not ready yet!!
<a big booming voice is heard>
Drew: Damn! We knew he would try to fight you when you were unprepared! Time to intervene!
Jess: Ok, here goes!
<spaceship disappears>
Nathan: Kickass!!
Sheila: Whew! Now, back to preparation!
Nathan: Leonardo DiCaprio sucks ass!
<Nathan looks at a poster of Leo on the wall, it disintegrates, but the wall behind it is intact>
Sheila: HOLY <beep>! How didja do that?
Nathan: Well, I was born with it I guess, I almost killed my dad twice. When he pissed me off.
Stan: Cool!
Cartman: Sweet! Hey Nathan, got any Cheesy Poofs?
Kyle: Dammit Cartman! You're so fat, the food you eat in one day could feed the entire US Armed Forces!
Sheila: AAAAH DAMMIT KYLE!!!!
Nathan: Hey! That wasn't very nice!
Stan: <glares at Nathan> Is something wrong with you dude?
Nathan: No! Cartman is cool!
Cartman: Yeah! I like ya, Nathan!
Kyle: No he's not cool! You're a dickhead Nathan!!!
Nathan: DAMMIT!!! DON'T CALL ME A DICKHEAD!!! <starts to glare evilly at Kyle>
Kyle: AAAAH! TWO CARTMAN LOVING PSYCHOS!!! NOOO!
<Nathan gets evil and stares, Sheila pulls out a HUGE pinwheel>
Kyle: Oh <beep>.
<Screen fades, you can hear Kyle>
Kyle: AAAAAH! NO NATHAN, SHEILA!! STOOOOP!! AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
<Big explosion thingies, booms, screen fades back in, Kyle is plastered to the floor>
Kyle: Ow.
Stan: *D*U*D*E!*
Sheila: Wow! Nathan! We make a kickass team!!
<Kenny goes into hysterics>
Sheila: <eyes going pinwheely> WHAT?!?! YOU...YOU...YOU *YOU*!!!
Kenny: {Me *WHAT*?}
Sheila: Me *YOU*! No!!! I mean, you *YOU*! I mean, oh NEVERMIND!! YEESH!
<A bunch of dancing jellybeans dance through the room. They jump up and land on Cartman and perform an Irish jig>
Cartman: DAMMIT! WHAT THE <BLEEP> IS THIS CALLED? GET THESE <BLEEP>ING JELLYBEANS OFFA MY BUFF BOD!!!
Jellybeans: Hear ye! Hear ye! PROCLAMATION!!! The gay one is coming! He's about to unleash the plan that is up his twisted sleeve! Repent repent repent! We dance about! Oh, dance dance dance!
Nathan: <gets pissed> SHUT UP AND DIE!!!!!
<Nathan stares them to death. They explode>
Kyle: The gay one...that means only one thing...LEOFARTO DICRAPPIO!!!
<We now hear the sound of a big spaceship landing outside the Psycho Bitch Zone space station>
<Sheila looks out a big sunroof thingy, and the rest of the gang follow her. We see a giant makeup compact-shaped spaceship landing on the landing dock thingy. Leo exits, followed by a bunch of guys wearing dresses and makeup. We get a glimpse of one of these guys, that looks suspiciously like Mr. Garrison. A few minutes later, Leo breaks the door down with a battering ram, which was made out of a big container of mascara>
Sheila: EEEW!! LEO GERMS IN MY SPACESTATION!!!!! UGH!!!
Leo: Well, well, well! <laughs evilly> So, we meet again, you stupid bitch!
Cartman: GODDAMMIT!! DON'T CALL HER A BITCH, YOU STUPID PANSY ASSHOLE SON OF A BITCH!!!
Leo: <sarcastic> Oooh, I'm scared! A fat kid who is nowhere near as beautiful as I thinks he can insult me!
<Sheila's getting REALLY pissed...smoke is coming out her ears>
Kyle: You suck, Leo!
Gay Guy #1: In more ways than one! <giggles>
Stan: Sick, dude!
Leo: <holier-than-thouish> I have come to take over now! And none of you little <BLEEP>s can stop me!
Kyle: DIE! LEOFARTO DICRAPPIO! DIE!
Leo: Don't hate me because I am beautiful!
Kyle: What the <BLEEP>?
Sheila: I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, DICRAPPIO!!!!! YOU'RE *NOT* GONNA GET AWAY WITH ANY OF THIS! THIS IS GOING WAAAAY TOO <BLEEP>ING FAR!!!! FIRST, YOU PISS ME OFF, *THEN* YOU PISS ME OFF, OH, AND TO TOTALLY TOP IT ALL OFF, *YOU PISS ME OFF*!!!!!I'M GONNA GET RID OF YOU IF IT'S THE LAST *<BLEEP>ING* THING I EVER *<BLEEP>ING* DO!!!
Leo: Your attempt may be the last thing you do, but I'm certainly not gonna be gotten rid of!
Sheila: Oh, yeah? WELL I'LL KICK YOUR ASS 'CAUSE I'M COOL AND YOU SUCK!
Leo: You're gonna die, Broslofski! I, the beautiful one, shall kill you and shall WIN FOREVER!!!
Sheila: NO WAY IN HELL!!! All right...NOW IS THE FINAL SHOWDOWN!!!!!
Leo: So be it!
<Leo pulls out a laptop computer and types, �Sheila is powerless�>
<Sheila falls down, Cartman and Nathan run to prop her up>
<Drew and Jess appear>
Drew: Now is where we come in!
<Jess and Drew pull out their own laptops and type �Sheila is unaffected by Leo�s laptop�>
Sheila: Thanks! Now to kick some ass!
<Sheila Gets out a REALLY big gun>
Sheila: Ahhh, the Pinwheel Blast-O-Master 5000!
<aims at Leo>
Leo: Die scum!
<Leo gets all nicey nicey, looks cutely at Sheila who blasts the pinwheel launcher at him>
<Screen Fades>
Drew: Stay tuned all!
Jess: Yeah! Part 2 is gonna be a rush! ***************************************************** Thanks everyone, comments criticism!
Gyrex Derision -and- ~Kyle_Broslofski~