Space Museum part two (11)

Aug 21, 19994 posts by 4 postersalt.tv.southpark
4 posts

Previously, in South Park... The class plans a trip, Kenny becomes a rebel, and Stan flips a coin to decide if Wendy or Kenny will survive.

Stan (without exposing the coin's faces): Heads, Wendy lives, Tails, Kenny lives.

[He opens his hands. There, he finds that the coin has been worn away so that neither of the faces can be made out.]

Stan, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman and Wendy: That is the damnedest thing I ever saw.

Cartman: Pick numbers. Wendy and Kenny choose numbers. I pick one or two, and depending on who it is, we think who it is. If I match Wendy's number, she dies, if I match Kenny's, he dies.

[Kenny and Wendy whisper to each other quietly.]

Wendy: Ready!

Cartman: Two!

Wendy: I win!

Kenny: Mmmm hmmm!

Wendy: No, I win!

Kenny: Mmmm, hmmm mmmm!

Wendy: Damn it, Kenny, just accept you're doomed to hell!!!

Kenny (leaping at Wendy): Mmmm hmmmm!

Stan (blocking Kenny, knocking him to the ground): Leave Wendy alone, Kenny!

Kyle: Hey, watch it, assmaster!

Cartman: Screw you, hippie!

Kenny: Hmmmm, hmmm, hmmm!

Wendy: Shut that mouth, bastard!

Stan: Shut the f*** up!

[Mr. Garrison appears, angry.]

Mr. Garrison: I have HAD IT with you five! No rebels, and that is that! No love, no anger, no jealousy..!

[Kenny goes from pink to red. He jumps at Mr. Garrison.]

Kenny: MMMMM, HMMMM, MMMMMHMMMM!

[The whole class gasp. Kenny smashes head first into Mr. Garrison's chest, knocking him to the ground. Mr. Garrison screams.]

Kyle: Oh my god, Kenny killed Mr. Garrison!

Stan: You bastard!

[Kenny's colour is restored to normal. Principal Victoria appears and gasps when she sees Mr. Garrison's limp body on the floor.]

Principal Victoria: Get this man a defibrillator!

Bus driver: Here it is!

Principal Victoria: Stand back, Kenny or you'll get a fatal electric shock!

[Kenny jumps back and Principal Victoria revives Mr. Garrison.]

Mr. Garrison: What happened?

Kyle: Kenny almost killed you.

Mr. Garrison: I don't remember that...ZZZZZ.

[Principal Victoria and the bus driver walk off, leaving the children to go back to their seats.]

Cartman: Nice going, Kenny!

[Kenny moves to an empty pair of seats, closer to Kyle and Stan. The rest of the journey passes quietly. After half an hour, the class arrives at the museum.]

Kyle: At last!

Stan: Come on!

[Just inside the entrance, Kenny jumps on an announcement booth and makes an announcement.]

Kenny: Mmmmmmhmmmmhmmm, hmmm, hmmmhmmmmm, mmmm, hmmmm! Mmmmmm hmmmmm hmmm hmmmm mmmmm mm hmmmmm!*

Children throughout the museum: He's right!

[A riot starts. Fire soon spreads through the building, which is evacuated. In the ensuing chaos, Wendy is lost in the flames.]

Stan: NO! I must rescue Wendy!

Cartman: Come on, Stan, don't be such a pink eye. Someone always died in a revolution.

Stan: But she was too young...NO!

[Stan leaps into the flames.]

Kenny: Mmmm!

[Stan stops.]

Stan (stepping back out): What is it, Kenny??

Kenny: Mmmm hmmm hmmmm.

Stan (seriously pissed off): Whatwhatwhat?????????

Kyle: Kenny, how could you?

Kenny: Mmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmmm!

Stan: Damn you, Kenny!

Kenny: Mmmm hmmm! Mmmmm hmmm mhmmm!

Stan: So, I don't care!

[Stan grabs Kenny and pushes him toward the flames. Then, Wendy appears. Stan swivels around, knocking into Kenny and sending him flying. Kenny lands on the pavement.]

Stan: Wendy!

Wendy: I sold my soul to him, but then I changed my mind. So I slipped the money back into his parka and took back my soul.

Stan: So...Kenny's going to...Kenny!

[Kenny gets up and turns around. Hence, he cannot see the fast cyclist approaching him rapidly. Brakes screech and the bike stops, just touching Kenny's hood.]

Kenny: Mmmm!

[The class re-board the coach. It pulls off and stops outside the school. When the children get back into their class, Cartman pulls out a metal tube with a button.]

Cartman: Look what I stole, it's called an ion gun!

[Cartman accidentally pushes the trigger. It shoots through the wall, out of the school, and hits a passer-by forty metres away, killing her instantly.]

Cartman: Oops.

[Shelley walks into the room.]

Stan: Hey, Shelley, what's up?

Shelley: Stan, you're wanted in the principal's office.

Stan: Uh oh.

Cartman: It's the evil bitch!

[He crudely aims the gun at Shelley's face.]

Stan: Cartman, no!

Shelley: Huh?

[Cartman shoots. The ion beam hits her braces and rebounds.]

Stan: What the-?

Wendy: Look out, Kenny!

[Kenny dives away from the blue beam just in time. The beam hits a window and passes through it with ease.]

Mr. Garrison: Cartman, give me that thing right now!

Cartman (shooting at Mr. Twig): No!

[The beam hits Mr. Twig, who explodes in a shower of sparks, setting fire to Mr. Garrison's shirt.]

Cartman: Wow, cool!

[Wendy throws water over Mr. Garrison, putting the fire out. Shelley leaves, with Stan.]

Cartman (dropping the gun): No, wait!

[The gun hits the ground, shooting at Kenny. Kenny's body hits the ground.]

Cartman: Oh my god, I killed Kenny!

[Kenny gets up.]

Kenny: Mmmm, hmmm, hmmm hmmm hmmmm, hmmmm mmm!

Kyle: Phew!

[The scamps are dropped off at the bus stop. They start walking home. Kenny goes into his house. It is empty.]

Kenny: Mmmmm hmmmm?

[KABOOM! Half of his street vanishes, with no trace of Kenny's house left. A piece of orange coat flutters to the ground in front of Kyle and Stan.]

Kyle: Oh my god, a V2 rocket hit Kenny!

Stan: I'm glad Wendy didn't lose her soul.

END FIC

Note: For those interested in what Kenny's revolutionary speech (the speech ending with an asterisk) he said, "Workers of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!"

Drew Thomas

That was pretty cool!

SaraJ I don't suffer from insanity.I like every minute of it. SNAFU=Situation Normal:All Fucked Up

"Umm-is that a God dam? "-Beavis, "Beavis&Butt-Head Do America"

"We'll live like kings! Damn hell ass kings!" -Bart Simpson -----END SIG-----

<snippies>

Totally awesome job, dude! <passes the cookies>

~Kyle Broslofski~� �1999, All Rights Reserved, Void Where Prohibited, Batteries....Not Included. To reply, please remove the ANAL PROBE. ;P

Cool fanfic, dude!

~ * ~ AnDi ~ * ~ See ya next time, eatin the pudding..

"Here's a quarter, call someone who cares." -Jen, Downtown

"How come we have to make macawoni pitchaws?" "'Cuz thats what squirts do, now shut your pie hole!"