(fanfic) Is Mr. Garrison gay?

This will be like the cliffhanger episode when Cartman was gonna find out who his father was. Is he or is he not? -------------------------------------------------------------------- {Cartman's house} (The kids are watching an Ellen rerun) Kyle: I can't believe they cancelled this show! Cartman: Me too! Kenny: Mpfh mph mfh mpfh mfph mpfpfh mpfpffpffppfh? (what's the big deal with woman <bleep>ing?) Stan: I wouldn't call it <bleep>ing. Anyway I think they cancelled it because she's too gay! Cartman: Gays are funny! Kyle: Cartman, it's not nice to say mean things about gays, even though "In&Out" was funny. Cartman: Sheesh! I make fun of you for being Jewish, Kenny for being poor and Stan for being a hippie and now you bring up gays? Stan: Oh yeah. That reminds me. (The kids beat him up) Ms. Cartman: Eric, how's Mr. Garrison? Cartman: Why do you..OW! Watch it! Why do you ask? Ms. Cartman: Cause it's nice to think of your teacher and someone who slept with your mother! Kenny: Mph mpfh mpfpfpfpfpfpfh! (She means hermaphodite) (Ms. Cartman kicks Kenny and he hits the wall) Stan: Oh my gosh! She.. Kenny: Mpfh! Mph mpfh mpfpfph. (Nope! I'm only injured) Cartman: Anyway, he's fine. {School} Mr. Garrison: Hello, children. Now today we'll be talking about homosexuals. Stan: But why? Mr. Garrison: Uh, because Ellen is cancelled. Stan: (Suspicious) Oh. Mr. Garrison: Anyway, gays are evil! That's all. Class dismissed! Wendy: But it's 8:39! Mr. Garrison: It's early dismissal! {Bus} Kyle: I just got a feeling Mr. Garrison is gay! Cartman: Then why did he say gays are evil? Kyle: Just so he could create something to think he's not gay! Ms. Crabtree: Hey! No talking about gays on my bus! Stan: That's probaly because you are gay! Ms. Crabtree: What'd you say? Stan: I said it's a beautifil day! Ms. Crabtree: Oh. Well, yes it is! {Classroom} Mr. Garrison: Well, nice talk huh? Mr. Hat: Do you think they know? Mr. Garrison: Maybe we should tell.. (Matt and Trey bursts in) Trey: Hey! Don't give away the secret! Mr. Garrison: Sorry. Matt: And be sure to see Baseketball. (They leave) Mr. Garrison: See what? {Stan's room} Stan: So do you think he is gay? Kyle: Hey! Maybe he's a hermaphodite! Kenny: mph mph mpfpfh mph mpfph mpfh mph mpfpfh mpfph! (He and Cartman's mom would make a perfect couple!) Cartman: Why you little! (Cartman punches Kenny so hard he flies back and gets impaled on a toy sword) Stan: Oh my gosh! You killed Kenny! Kyle: You b*st*rd! Cartman: That's what you get for insulting my ma! Kyle: It was to early for him to die! What should we do? (Trey appears) Trey: Fear not! This is a 2 parter! So he will be back! And see Baseketball! (He disappears) All kids: See what? Cartman: WHat should we do to figure it out? Stan: Wait! To find out who Cartman's father was, we turned to Mephesto! Kyle: That wouldn't work! Cartman: Wait a minute! A lie-detector test! Stan: Wow! That's brilliant for a fat guy with no brains! Cartman: Ay! {Police station} (The kids walk to Barbrady's desk) Barbrady: What? Stan: We want to find out if Mr. Garrison is gay! So can we use the lie-detector thing? Barbrady: But I can't read! Kyle: I thought you learned! Barbrady: I just forgot! Cartman: Never mind! I'll use it! Barbrady: Ok, but it'll be $40! Stan: $40? Barbrady: Move along! (The kids walk away with worried faces) {Stan's house} Stan: Dude, I guess we'll never know! Cartman: Oh well. Let's watch America's Funniest Videos! (Cartman turns on the TV) Bob Saget: And the contestants are "Guy gets paper-cut and dies", "Oiler gets oil in eyes" and "Boy gets impaled on sword"! Kids: What?! (They show on TV Cartman punching Kenny and him getting impaled on sword) Stan: Oh my gosh! They recorded Kenny being killed! Kyle: You b*st*rd! (Trey and Matt are watching the TV) Trey: Didn't we do this before? Matt: oh what the hey! People wont notice the difference! Bob Saget: And the winner is "Guy gets paper-cut and dies"! "Boy gets impaled on sword" is a loser because it wins $40! Stan: If we did that, we wouldn't be losers! (Someone knocks on the door) Cartman: I'll get it! (Cartman opens the door and there stands a man in rain slicker and hat covering his indentity) Cartman: Oh no! You couldn't possibly know what I did last summer! Mysterious man: I don't know what you did last summer! Here! (He hands him money) Now go find out! (He closes the door) Stan: Who was that guy? Narrator: Who was that guy? Was he Mr. Mackey? Chef? Mephesto? Trey? Matt? Cartman: Don't start it again! Anyway he gave us the money! Kyle: Alright! {Police station} (Mr. Garrison is straped to a lie-detector) Barbrady: I bet he is! Cartman: Shut up! I will ask him now! Narrator: Is Mr. Garrison gay? Is the answer yes or no! Find out in 4 weeks!

Jtm3k wrote:

Narrator: And IF he is gay, who did he sleepwith? . . . Was it . . .

Officer Barbrady?

Mister Mackey?

Big Gay Al?

Nononononononono...you *guessed*. Only Matt & Trey know fer sure. Unless you're them. Then we'd have to tie you up and make you tell all the secrets of stuff. By the way, nice fic. "See Baseketball!" "See what?" "Didn't we do this before?" "Don't worry, they won't notice!" Hehe. -Kim, Queen of All That Is Weird, Youngest Member of alt.tv.southpark (and darn proud of it!) "If you can't beat 'em, run like hell!"

Ok, so maybe they know. What they hey.