The 'Fanfic' Fanfic

I don't think this is one of my better ones...whipped up in just a few minutes. But here it is anyway.

The 'Fanfic' Fanfic ~ [Scene: Bus stop.]

Stan: Dude, Kyle, where were you all day yesterday? Kyle: I was surfing the Internet, reading these cool fanfics about us! Stan: About us? Cool! Cartman: What's a fanfic? Kyle: Wellll...you know how Trey and Matt write the series? Cartman: Yeah. Kyle: Fans write their own stories featuring us, and since they're not official episodes, they're called 'fanfics'. It's short for 'fan fiction'. Cartman: Ohhhhhh. Stan: How many fanfics were there? Kyle: A lot! And only a few people were writing them! Our show must be really, really popular! Cartman: Of course it is, it's got me in it! Kyle: Cartmannnn! Cartman: What? Kyle: Shut up. Cartman: Screw you, hippie! Stan: Dude, what kind of fanfics did you read? Kyle: Weird ones. There was one, by someone called SnowCalico, about Kenny falling in love! Kenny: Mmph? Hmmpphmm? (Me? Fall in love?) Kyle: Yeah, you even got married! Kenny: Mmphmpmmh? (Did we fuck?) Kyle: No, she got killed about five seconds after the wedding. Kenny: Mmmmphm! (That sucks!) Kyle: Yeah, really. But the script was cool! You even got to be with her at the end...and no, you didn't f<beep>, sorry. Stan: Tell us about some of the others! Kyle: Well, there was this other one, by Alyssa, where we got sent to this Middle-Ages-type place, and Kenny was like the object of a prophecy, he had to kill these two immortal dudes! And there was another one by Alyssa where he got immune to death! Kenny: Mppmmh! (I wish!) Kyle: Also, she wrote this one about me getting a computer game called Creatures and getting addicted, and <glances at Cartman> she even wrote an ending to the Cliffhanger! Cartman: What? Cool! What was it? Mah mom wasn't a hermafalite in it, was she? Kyle: No, actually. It turned out that your father was <surpresses a snicker> Mr. McCormick! You and Kenny turned out to be brothers! Cartman: Oh, sonofabitch! Kyle: Kenny even took his hood off! Kenny: Mmphm? Mmmmphmmrm? (I did? What'd I look like?) Kyle: I don't know, she didn't describe you. Kenny: Mmmphm. (Sheesh.) Stan: What other fanfics were there? Kyle: There was one by SnowCalico where Cartman and Kenny were both killed, and Kenny tried to help Cartman earn his wings...it was hilarious, Cartman couldn't even cuss through the whole thing! Cartman: Sonofabitch! Kyle: Yeah, and you should see some of SnowCalico's OTHER fanfics...she's great! She seems to think she sucks, though. Stan: Doesn't sound like she sucks. Kyle: She doesn't, her fanfics kick ass! And there's this other one, by two girls named Kim and Lindsay, called "The Blunder Years"...it's about us as adults! Stan: Cool! What are we like as adults? Kyle: Cartman's twice as annoying, and owns the Cheesy Poofs factory... Stan:<rolls eyes> Makes sense. Kyle: I'm a miser... Stan: A miser? Kyle: It's someone who doesn't like giving away or spending money. Stan: Oh. What's Kenny? Kyle: A stuntman...hee hee! Kenny: Mmmmphm? Mmmph, MMPMPHM'm mpmppmhpmpmsmmmm.... (A stuntman? Oh, THERE'S a good career for me!) Kyle: You don't seem to have a job, Stan...you're married to Wendy, though, and she has a job. Stan: Oh. We have any kids? Kyle: Nope. Stan: Oh. Kyle: Alyssa also wrote this crazy continuation to "Mecha-Streisand"...Kenny came back, and turned into <snickers> Mecha-Kenny, to fight Mecha-Ike! Stan: That sounds weird! Kyle: It was! I about died laughing! Stan: These fanfic things sound cool! Kyle: They are, dude! They are! Stan: Wait a minute...trey and Matt aren't writing this, are they? Kyle: Uh...no, I don't think so... Stan: So, is this a fanfic? Kyle: I guess so. Stan: Then...who's writing this? Kyle: I dunno...HEY, AUTHOR! Voice: Yessssss? Kyle: Who're you? Voice: Alyssa. Stan: We're doomed. Alyssa: Aw relax, I haven't done anything evil to you yet, so don't worry? Kyle: _Yet?_ Alyssa: I'll even end this right now, so you don't have to worry. [The words 'The End' appear above the boys, Alyssa ponders having the words drop on Kenny and kill him, but dismisses it] Kenny: Whew.

[fin]

~

There. Wot d'y'all think?

Alyssa

Alyssa wrote in article ...

I liked it--two thumbs up. I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me--it was way better than Cats, I'm going to read it again, and again and again. Seriously, it was really cool.

killed,

Cartman

Where can I find that fanfic? It sounds really funny.

That fanfic of mine, entitled "Devil's Food Cake" can be found (as well as all my writings) at Ben Yarbourogh's Fanfic site:

http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Studio/4296
                            \/\/\/
------------------------()()()oo()()()-----------
                              U
SnowCalico-Leader of Rights For Kenny
visit our homepage http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Studio/1278
E-mail for info

I couldn't find Devil's Food Cake at the site. I found your new one, though.

Oogg, yeah I know. try looking up "Patented SnowCalico Script" on DejaNews.
                            \/\/\/
------------------------()()()oo()()()-----------
                              U
SnowCalico-Leader of Rights For Kenny
visit our homepage http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Studio/1278
E-mail for info

That didn't work either. I also tried searching for the title, and even wading through everything connected with the name SnowCalico. I don't suppose it's archived anywhere...

SnowCalico wrote in article ...

one,<BR>

DejaNews.

Christopher S. Carrig wrote in article ...

I've got a copy in my outbox (I e-mailed it to some friends). I just sent it to you.

Alyssa

Thank you. You have my eternal praise. [falls to his knees in a pose commonly referred to as the "thanking the gods it's Friday" pose]

christopher

I'll try my best to find a copy.

I'm still trying to get it :(

That and one other that I know of. Patience, young Jedi. :)

Ben

<Jedi skates into the scene> Did someone mention my name???

Jedi wrote in article ...

'Wow, it's Jedi!' 'What incredible irony!'

Alyssa

Haha, I just couldn't pass up on that one ;-)

Jedi wrote in article ...

I couldn't, either <grins>

Alyssa, aka Lyssie

Cool, we got mentioned! Great fanfic, by the way.

In article , [email] (GUMPELS) writes:

<sniff> She didn't mention me... Maybe SeinPark (Should be out after my graduation next Tuesday) will get some attention.

Jeremy B

"Unlike most of you, I am not a nut."- Homer Simpson

KrytenToo wrote in article ...

[email]

Accckk! Sorry, I forgot. <Kyle voice> I'm sorry, Jeremy! Don't kill me! <normal voice>

Alyssa

In article , "Alyssa" writes:

Sorry Kyle, you must die now. <shoots Kenny>

Okay, so I shot Kenny. It's a tradition.

Jeremy B

"Unlike most of you, I am not a nut."- Homer Simpson

KrytenToo wrote in article ...

Ooh, so just because I was talking in a Kyle voice, that means I'm Kyle? Wow...that's a switch! I changed religion, age, AND sex! Wow, that's magical!

don't mind me i'm a very disturbed little girl ;)

<giggles>

Alyssa ('Lyssie')

<shamelessplug> Most of the ones you read here are published on the site listed below. -That includes these latest offerings by Alyssa and SnowCalico. </shamelessplug>

Ben

Alyssa wrote in article ...

I liked it--two thumbs up. I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me--it was way better than Cats, I'm going to read it again, and again and again. Seriously, it was really cool.

killed,

Cartman

Where can I find that fanfic? It sounds really funny.