A South Park Haiku

South Park fans suck ass They're smelly, fat losers who need dates Slurp dick, you dumb fags!

In article , [email] (Hzlbwr) wrote:

That's not a haiku You need therapy, assmunch Now please go away

Oh my God. You're the biggest hypocrite. Gee, what a coincidence that you happened to write an anti South Park haiku when this past week's episode featured haikus. Is there something you're not telling us?

Hzlbwr wrote:

If some jerks Do not like South Park They should get out of here! ______Jtm3k__________ Mpph mpph mpph mpph!-Kenny Hello, Sidney!-Ghostface ()XXXXXXX::::::::::::::::::::::::> I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER Huh?-Cartman

Hear hear! -Toni

Jtm3k wrote:

Well I don't think he missed any bases... He sucks ass, is a smelly fat looser who needs a date, and he sucks dick and is a dumb fag. Sounds about right to me? Does it sound right to you? -me

No.... I don't think so. This is not a Haiku moron. Try again.

Hzlbwr babbled...

Here's one for you:

Leave this newsgroup now You stupid shithead bastard We don't give a fuck

~Kyle Broslofski~

And of course, the one who holds the nickname 'Kyle' was the first one who wrote a correct haiku, and one that was even remotely funny, right after all of Kyle's hilarious haikus in the previous eppie. It's scary how much you're like him (short of gender), really it is.

Marguerrite, Hunter of the Infamous Matt and Trey (they call me Kim, but I know better) Aka Crabtree-Norn "Sit down and shut up!" "&^*$ Censorship!"-originated on alt.tv.southpark

Yuppers, I know! As a matter of fact, me and a group of kids were doing a mock war with haikus like that last year when we were learning about them in class (and we also did a thing with limericks like that, too) And, guess what my lucky number is (it's been that for about 8 years now)? Of course! *7*!!!!! It seems the more and more I watch the show, more and more weird things happen! Like, take this conversation the other night at my dinner table:

My mom: [finishing a sentence about something that's not really that important to my bizarre story] ...the people who moved in across the street this summer.

Me: What people? Someone moved in? Who are they?

Mom: Oh, it's some lady and guy, last name is Crabtree.

Me: [spitting out my soda in shock] C...*Crabtree*?!?!?!

So, now the Crabtrees live across the street from me--I haven't seen what the lady looks like yet--I only saw her wandering around her garden a bit the other day (I wonder if she has a bird's nest on her head? ;)

Maybe I've been watching too much SP...;) (no such thing as too much SP!)

~Kyle Broslofski~ "The South Park Girl"

Kyle Broslofski rules Cartman is overrated Kick him off the show.

<sig>

FUNKIDELIC

-Dark Sith Lord of the ">"s -Defender of the ">"s -One-Time Sufferer of ">" syndrome -Self-Appointed AGFF God of Movies -South Park Freak Extrodinaire -Defender of all Jewish kids plagued by the evilness of Christmas -Defender of Earthbound -Defender of Reis the Dragoner -Wielder of the Vortex Sword -A member of the Portland Carry-Out Triad Coalition -Anti-Revivalist -Anti-FFVIIPC -Offical ACE Active Thread Lifeguard -3 threads saved from drowing to date!!

ICQ#: 15253320

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Quotes

"The cow says 'mooooooooooo!'" -Mattel's Farm Animal See and Say

"Remember, PBS is free because it sucks!" -Comedy Central commercial

"That son of a bitch! What kind of sick weirdo is he?" -Stan Marsh

"Oh my god! They killed Kenny!" -Stan Marsh

"You bastards!" -Kyle Broslofski

"...except if they send us to that dreaded Planet of the Apes. Wait a minute. Statue of Liberty... That was our planet! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!" -Homer Simpson

.......................................................
The Conjoined Fetus Lady Song

You've got the strength, You've got the courage, Even with a dead fetus on your head. You carried on, fought for tomorrow, dead fetus or no ya never let go. You're my conjoined twin, dead thing hanging off you're head woman... ........................................................

</sig>

Funkidelic wrote:

Yuppers!

You know, out of everyone I know who likes SP in my school, no one likes Cartman! I thought I was the only Cartman fan until I got to all the SP sites, newsgroup, etc. on the Internet!

Nah....Even though I'm a big Kyle fan, I'm also a big Cartman fan.

~Kyle Broslofski~ "The South Park Girl"

On Sun, 06 Sep 1998 04:39:23 GMT, Kyle Broslofski wrote:

You missed the point Kyle That was a South Park haiku Just like this one is

Nope, I didn't miss the point--I knew it was a haiku! :) I still had to reply to it, though! :)

~Kyle Broslofski~

Oh my..bad time for me to start eating a tomatoe.. nearly started to choke. It seems the SP world is closing in on you..of course, that's a *good* thing.

Marguerrite, Hunter of the Infamous Matt and Trey (they call me Kim, but I know better) Aka Crabtree-Norn "Sit down and shut up!" "&^*$ Censorship!"-originated on alt.tv.southpark

Unless your name is Kenny =). Sorry, just had to enter my 2 cents.

GUMPELS wrote:

Yessirree!!!! I'm now a citizen of South Park! ;)

~Kyle Broslofski~ "The South Park Girl"

That's nothing...I have a McCormick in my class....first name Kelly.

Lesse...Kelly...Kenny...hey, they ryme!!

Interesting... (: SMILE :)

Until next time, goodbye to all you wacky people out there in PC land!

~Lindsay :)-

<<That's nothing...I have a McCormick in my class....first name Kelly.>>

Try killing her and see if she comes back next week.

*** No, just kidding.

GOD DAMNIT KYLE. You could warn me before you say these things, I got snapple all over my damn keyboard!!! -me

Oopsie! Sorry bout that! :)

Ah, while Snapple is brought up here, you know that lady with the dark hair that sits behind that desk? Is she really *that short*, or is the desk really *that big*? I always wondered that, but I just couldn't figure it out! (yeah, the things I wonder about!--seems I sometimes have a *bit* too much time on my hands here! ;)

~Kyle Broslofski~

<<My mom: [finishing a sentence about something that's not really that important to my bizarre story] ...the people who moved in across the street this summer.

Me: What people? Someone moved in? Who are they?

Mom: Oh, it's some lady and guy, last name is Crabtree.

Me: [spitting out my soda in shock] C...*Crabtree*?!?!?!

So, now the Crabtrees live across the street from me--I haven't seen what the lady looks like yet--I only saw her wandering around her garden a bit the other day (I wonder if she has a bird's nest on her head? ;)

Maybe I've been watching too much SP...;) (no such thing as too much SP!)

~Kyle Broslofski~ "The South Park Girl"

Dude, this is pretty f*cked up right here.

Please take note Hzlbwr:

This is a shinning example of a Haiku!!!! And in case you are dense, I will point it out to you............

<bows> Thank you, thank you! I'm so proud! My haiku singled out in a good way! <sniff> <sniff> I should use it in my poetry booklet for English class...;)

~Kyle Broslofski~ "The South Park Girl"

<<Hzlbwr wrote:

Here's one for you:

Leave this newsgroup now You stupid shithead bastard We don't give a fuck>>

That's very good, Kyle. You get an A in writing For that great haiku.

Another one!

***** Out Of Quotes

Why, thank you! (Great haiku, BTW! ;)

~Kyle Broslofski~

In article , Kyle Broslofski writes:

Stupid fucking troll Ass is up your fat heinie Please shoot yourself now.

JB "You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane... It is up to people like you and me who are out of our tiny little minds to try and help these people overcome their sanity.'"- Rev. Arthur Belling

I like this game.

See the cranes in flight? Watch them arc gracefully by. Now go fuck shrapnel.

--Chauvstrozzi Stegosauzzi

Oh, and also a little bit of criticism:

Whose asses and dicks are we allegedly sucking if we need dates? Most guys can suck their own dick with a little practice, but NO ONE can suck their own ass.

--Chauvstrozzi Stegosauzzi

Fucking stupid Troll Yer mom is a fat ass slut Die and go to hell

Matt

YES! Matt you rule dude! Thanks for stepping in and telling off these fucking trolls once and for all. -Toni

Matt Stone wrote:

Now I believe that these guys are the real deal. Way to tell 'em!

Go Matt, you kick ass, the MTV awards sucked last night, you guys were the only good part, diss them in a new episode...alright, I'm done. By the way, Trey's little 'music' speech is going into my sig. once I have time to change it.

Marguerrite, Hunter of the Infamous Matt and Trey (they call me Kim, but I know better) Aka Crabtree-Norn "Sit down and shut up!" "&^*$ Censorship!"-originated on alt.tv.southpark

Here's a Hailu to go with that lil speach:

The awards sucked ass Only good part: Trey and Matt You guys really rule!

(: SMILE :) Until next time, goodbye to all you wacky people out there in PC land!

~Lindsay :)-

Wait a sec. Brandy and Monica were just SO good. Their voices were so great. (I hope everyone notices the sarcasm). No but the beastie boys were also as good as Matt + Trey. -me

I happened to like Brandy and Monica. And I don't know what people see in the Beastie Boys. But whatever. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.

"Music. What a wonderful thing that while our government is collapsing and our economy is crumbling and people are dying everywhere, we can all gather together here and say 'Hey, Will Smith is wearing great pants tonight!'"-Trey Parker

Funny.

Now *I* believe they're not. :)

--C. S.

<applauds> Maybe this guy could *really be Matt*....you never really know....<thinks>

~Kyle Broslofski~

On 5 Sep 1998 01:34:34 GMT, [email] (Hzlbwr) wrote:

No, you've got the right idea -- 5-7-5 -- but it's syllables, not words. Perhaps if you changed the second line to something like just Pyooo! fat losers who need dates that would both get your point across and conform to the haiku standards. Good try, though!

That is not haiku Learn to count your syllables You fucking dumbshit

-or-

Sucking dick is rad Maybe you should try it once Cuz girls think you suck

Hzlbwr wrote:

On 5 Sep 1998 01:34:34 GMT, [email] (Hzlbwr) wrote:

An AOL user, huh?

What a fucking shocker.

Everyone complain to his ISP. A few screams to AOHell will get his ass yanked soon enough.

----- Lone Wolf My Kung-Fu is the best.

"It was as if the lights dimmed just for him." - Steve Buscemi, Desperado

"Hail to the king, baby" - Army of Darkness

"You wanna see what I can bring to the party?" - The Drew Carey Show

Oh great, an example of just how *stupendous* America's school system is... I would like to apoligize for this behavior. Because of inconciderate trash like Mr. Hzlbwr, it makes other people on aol look bad.

most of AOL users are either a)internet illiterate, b)Pedophiles or C)both. -me

TaniwhaSK wrote:

I am D) none of the above, but my parents are A, therefore we have AOL...although I like it, I've made some cool friends.

ash

aka Lady Jacqueline, latest hunter of the elusive and mysterious Trey and Matt "There's always some reason to feel not good enough And it's hard at the end of the day I need some distraction or a beautiful release"

Did I say most? AOL sucks. It's SO slow, and filled with people who are addicted to porn. When I did have AOL I got at least 10 IMs to cyber whenever I went online. And so I find out..not only do they sell your email address to spammers, they sell your snail mail one too! FUCK STEVE CASE...I got myself an ISP! The REAL internet. -me pS. What's with the AOL ad where the guy says he can't even use his copier but can use AOL????

It means exactly what it implies. Think about it. They're saying, if you're too dumb to run a copier, come to AOL & you'll fit in just fine. Eeeeeeeeeek.

In article , [email] wrote:

One time I put a book in a copier and copied it about ten times before I realized I was copying the cover of the book, rather than the pages. Should I look into AOL? :)

So? When I was on Prodigy all I ever got was IM and emails from people who wanted to cyber. Now what do you suppose that means? Absolutely nothing. The world is full of sick horny perverts whether your on the internet or walking down the street. And speaking of Prodigy they advertised one month free. Well guess what? The free access didn't include the Web so my first month's charge was over $400. After some phone calls I got the price way down. Does AOL suck? No. Does Prodigy suck? No. Does Compuserve suck? No. People suck. Peolpe who stereotype other people are the worst kind of people.

Oh my God! You mean I'm using the FAKE internet? Oh no will the police arrest me for forgey? Or maybe you were implying that AOL is being run by imaginary beings like fairies, dancing frogs, and leprechauns? That was sarcasm by the way. I know most of you know that but I thought I should explain for the stupid people out there

I was refering to the AOL ad where the guys says AOL is the internet. Because AOL is only one of the many providers of internet connection and software in one package. AOL sucks, you won't realize that till you get an ISP but...it does. -me

In article , Ann writes

Or just newbies who can't be arsed to cancel AOL accounts, or kids whose parents are happy with AOL and don't want to change.

How to do: Simply *forward* the post to [email]. If applicable, make sure headers are ON.

<<South Park fans suck ass They're smelly, fat losers who need dates Slurp dick, you dumb fags!>>

Go to hell and die You [bleep]ed up piece of bull[beep] We really hate you.

hzlbwr scrawls:

Let us dissect this *delightful* haiku;

Hmmmmmm, speaking from personal experience?

Oh well... Personal experience creeps in again, so hazel, are you fat? (just a little bit immense) do you smell? (only as much as a rotting fish carcass in the Midday sun) Do you need a date? (Hmmm... Fuck off, no-one's that desperate)

Yeah right, why don't you slurp Roman the Pin's little micro-nob, it'll probably fit right in with your immense proportions (opposites attract) As for dumb fags, well why the fuck don't you go fuck yourself, because all the "dumb fags" here,and otherwise, know that the only action you are *ever* likely to see will be self induced, as nobody wants to venture where no man has gone before. Oh yeah, I forgot to say:

F U C K Y O U B I T C H

(This is all assumung you are female, if you are not then I'm sure you once were)

Tom Arthur wrote:

Cartman rhymes this way: "Why don't you go f**k yourself, You son-of-a-bitch!"