well, i meant to click save, but I accidentally clicked send, so here's pt 2 of my incredibly assholish lame and long story
Asshole-Ticket Guy: yeah, right kids, look, you can go see Big daddy, even though it sux ass
Me: uhh ok, we'll do that
Friend: Huh?
<I walk past ticket guy>
Me: DIEEEEEE!!!!!!! <rams pinwheel up Asshole-Ticket Guy's ass and knees him in the balls>
/me wakes up "DAMMIT, I was having a great dream"
Me: uh, we'll think about it
So we went over to the videogames, now both extremely pissed and about ready to rip out his balls and make him eat them. We were discussing ways to sneak in, unfortunately they had put South Park RIGHT behind the ticket collector just to keep us out. we tried to find someone we could pay-off to pose as his mom to get us in, but nobody really looked right. well, we finally said that we would see Big Daddy, just so we could get in the area where we could sneak in if he left for a second. we waited around for a while, because Big Daddy started 30 minuts later than SP, we were trying not to look like we were watching him. SP had already started, and there was a door that couldn't be opened from the outside (we had already cheched all the exits behind the building) but we could listen to it through there, when another even gayer more assholish true asshole.... To be continued I feel tired, it really sucks ass over here in seattle, no sun for over a week annd a few small earthquakes
you all still have no Idea how incredibly PISSED OFF I AM!!!!
MacEvil wrote in message news:7lkff5$tku$[email]...
I can understand that you're pissed, but the movie is rated R. You should not be seeing it, so you'll have to get over it and wait until it comes out on video. It is not meant for kids, and the ticket-taker did the right thing.
Captain Long Dong wrote in message news:[email]...
out
Well, I would agree with you, IF the movie were NC-17 or we didnt have a parent's approval to let us see the movie. Are we really going to absorb less crap if we have a parent with us?
Plus it makes things uncomfortable... If I were still underage, I'd be worried about seeing this movie with my mom...and esp. my dad...it would make her incredibly uncomfortable and I wouldn't want to do that...
KyleIke13~
I can't believe my parents are cannibals! ~ Kyle
You need to lay off the cough syrup. Seriously, I'm worried about you, man ~ Cartman
FUCK YOU, TOOL OF THE ESTABLISHMENT AND VALENTI AND THE MPAA!! YOU CAN SUCK MR. MACKY'S WEINER! EAT SHIT, BUTT FUCK COCK PISS CUNT HELL! I want to sneak every kid into this subversive film and CORRUPT THEM!!!!!!!!
You, my fair weathered friend of intellectual vernicular, have impressed us all and changed all of the minds to follow yours, what charisma. I truly hope that you are the representative of your generation. You are eloquent and charismatic, I will follow anywhere, Captain, oh my Captain.
Well, I ain't no fuckin' role model and I don't fuckin' represent my generation and I couldn't fuckin' remember Cartman's fuckin' Saddam-killin' invofuckin'cations! But I'm old enough to be a parent to a lot of the people here.
Well, you must be very proud of yourself. Your age would anywhere from 25 to 68, if the statement that you could parent us is accurate. You must feel so proud that you can use f**k in a sentence as an adjective, but in print, f**k doesn't have the same effect that it does when you yell at your mom or your kids. Hope you keep breeding and parenting the next generation, you couldn't do any worse than the people in Mississippi. Oh yeah, just a tip, keep your kids away from books, they won't need them anyway.
OK, wad, it's time to pull out the heavy artillery. Matter of fact, I *AM* proud of myself. I'm one of the top people in my field. I'm invited to lecture at Yale University, Severance Hall & Amsterdam. I do "Career Day" presentations at a local junior high school (I don't know why they brought the woodshop dummies into hear about music but...). I never pay for my way, I am paid to go to these things. I'm published. I don't use "fuck" in any of these presentations (altho', heh, one of my fellow panelists in Amsterdam did!). If you're so fuckin' put off by my fuckin' use of the fuckin' word "fuck," then why the fuck are you in the fuckin' South Park newsgroup??? <BTW, can you sense sarcasm at all, or is that in the part of your brain in front of the lobotomy cut?>
The effect in print, which is a little more than slightly sarcastic, is enhanced when you drop the final "g" indicating a vernacular pronunciation. Totally lost on DIM BULBS.
Now that is truly funny. I have so many books that most of them are currently in boxes pending a move to a bigger place! Shit, most of them are <gasp!> HARDCOVER!!!! (BTW, my own books [2] are pending publication.)
Heavy artillery? Everyone run. Hit the deck, they aren't using smart bombs anymore, they are dropping super-geniuses now. Allow me to pontificate upon my many exuberances of life: Graduate of Oxford, post-graduate of Berkeley for Analytical Logic (Master's), post-graduate of Harvard for Cultural Anthropology and doctoral degree from UCLA for film. Wrote my 237 page dissertation on the aftereffects upon society of cult movies. I have published many articles in the Philosophical Society of America, two books are about to be published; B-Movies and the Kids who Love Them, The Cults of Movies and Why Americans Can Never Accept A Good Movie. I have toured throughout this nation and a few places in Canada on my lecture tour. I have been represented on panels with Joe Bob Briggs, Fred Olen Ray, Steve Holland, and am a close friend of J.D. Salinger. (It is no junior high school "Career Day", but hey, we all try in our own ways.)
By the way, I am not put off by the word "f**k." I rather use it quite often. I just think that it loses pinoche when written. Your original post was quite the subject of imbellicil vernacular. But now that I see such an esteemed colleague of mine using the gutteral language, I feel free to do the same. You have such an impressive resume, and am sure that your sardonic humor flew over our dim-witted heads (that is the way it is with you geniuses, though), that the masses, the teeming millions, must have the necessity to thank you on the streets for opening the intelligencia to the common-slang language. You have done well, bring forth the accolades.
These are not the rantings of a 12 year old, these, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, are the eloquent writings of a Genius. There is more than meets the eye, when reading this, look between the lines, there is more being stated than the obvious. We are in the midst of the next Buddha, Kierkegaard, Orwell, Pirsig, Descartes, Aristotle, Confuscious. No he is not just a 12 yr old little boy who knows absolutely nothing about the world except masturbation, but rather a 46-yr old man who refuses to grow up in mind and actions other than his preposity and astuteness, he is a dreamer to some and man of many accomplishments to the fine people of this newsgroup now. You are not just a full grown adult that wishes to keep your mind at an active level equated with a 12-year old, you just refuse to grow up - we have Peter Pan in our midst. A Peter Pan/Stephen Hawking love child in our very own newsgroup. D.G. Porter, you have shown us the light, you are pure logic, you hold a doctrine of inference surpassed by none. And I thank you for it. We should all thank you for it.
Oh! Impressive, once again. By now, I must offer my apologies, I was truly unaware of my lord's extensive resume and Library. The pride you must feel must be welling you up. Allow me to dry that tear of amour propre. Such an eloquent writer, exiquisite mind of our demeaning times, an impressive man who owned so many books that he had not the time nor inclination to read them and some of them HARDCOVER. Oh, man of ultimate Wisdom, from whence does thee grant an apology to thyself?
My God, you think the world can't get any sadder, and then...it does: two Phds, the supposed intellectual leaders of our society, squabbling over...South Park. Hey, shouldn't you guys be correcting term papers or something? Or is that what the hapless, underpaid and mentally abused TAs (like yours truly) are for?
Hey, I am walking away from this argument -- the guy's too weird, it serves him right (FZ ref). Besides, I don't have a PhD -- too much of a waste of money for what I do in the "real world"!
Oh, pity, D.G. Porter, it seems that we never actually encountered your heavy artillery, and I was so excited with anticipation. Well, not really, I didn't think that you even had any. But wow, what an impressive resume, it was almost as contrived and fabricated as mine. Ta Ta, my dear old friend. I'll tell J. D. Salinger that you send him your love and admiration.
Are you policing the newsgroups and commenting on who and who should not be able to write e-mail? And I wonder who gave you all of this directorial authority, mmm? Right. That is what I thought. If I remember correctly, I merely commented on your ineptitude of a writing flair, which others have also done, have you also e-mailed them and asked them to lay off the e-mail, to paraphrase you. You then attacked me and were going to pull out the heavy artillery, so to speak. Now that you have none, you don't want to hear about it anymore. I understand, an elementary school bully taught me something a few years ago, 'Never kick a man when hs is already down." I shall excuse myself and take leave of this subject and let the star of the show (that's you) recoup and wash his abrasions.
No, not clueless, I have a reply button and a reply all button, I consciously choose to reply to all. Knew it all along, you know for a guy that wants me to stop e-mailing him, why do you persist upon e-mailing me? Do you wish to continue pleading? Go right ahead then. I will start if for you, Please stop e-mailing me for I am intellectually inferior, now you take it.....
Mr. Bread, you are correct in the assumption in that my TAs correct my papers, it is what gives me extra time to say have a discussion with my students, bring up problems within the faculty senate, and write my sardonic humor on the internet.
Oh yeah, D.G Porter, when were you going to pull out the heavy artillery. I forgot to ask you that. I was afraid for a moment but realized that a 12-year old mind wouldn't be that much of a challenge. Thanks for never growing up. D.G. Porter, D.G. Porter, hey, weren't you the true subject that the story Flowers for Algernon was based on? How is Algernon doing these days, Charlie?
FUCK YOU, TOOL OF THE ESTABLISHMENT AND VALENTI AND THE MPAA!! YOU CAN SUCK MR. MACKY'S WEINER! EAT SHIT, BUTT FUCK COCK PISS CUNT HELL! I want to sneak every kid into this subversive film and CORRUPT THEM!!!!!!!!
Yeah! Corrupt the children! Ass hell crap shit fuck hell cock piss cunt bitch bastard! (I realize that didn't make much sense)
Long live the Bill Of Rights!
"Education is the ultimate weapon and the master key." -Daniel M. Gordon, IQ 123
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I wasnt Bitchin about haw I didn't see the movie, I was bitchin about how assholish the people at the theatre were, and how incredibly pointless some rules are, I did get a parents permission to see it and they did BUY me the tickets and I did eventually see the movie. Issaquah 9 kicks ass, any kid who wants to see it, just go there. they don't care, me and my other 14 year old friend bought tickets and got in easily, no crap at all.