The Most Ridiculous Tholen Post Ever (Sung to the tune of "The Most Offensive Song Ever")
[Mr. Hankey:] Howdy Ho!
The Usenet group was sleeping when Tholen first appeared, He said, �I'm the usenet monitor� And we all thought that was weird.
[Kenny:] Tholen said, �I�ll decide what's relevant. I�ll decide what should be here.�
[Mr. Hankey:] But then usenet said to Tholen, �You're a kook, go have a beer.�
[Kenny:] For you can thole all the posts you want
[Together:] And still be a dumb-ass, Tholen!
[Kenny:] You can thole all the posts you want
[Mr. Hankey: And still be considered a usenet kook.
[Kenny:] I know you'd like to play, And thole right through the night.
[Together:] You're still a kooky weirdo in the eyes of all.
[Mr. Hankey:] There was no one in the newsgroup When David Tholen did arrive He were so very tired you see.
[Kenny: ] �Cause he had to track stars through the night
[Mr. Hankey:] He said we had no logic.
[Kenny:] And that he needed to correct our plight.
[Mr. Hankey:] Tholen appeared to the newsgroup and told us we weren't right.
[Kenny:] Because, I can thole all the posts I want
[Mr. Hankey:] And still be a weirdo, Usenet!
[Kenny:] I can thole all the posts I want
[Mr. Hankey:] And still be the master of Kook.
[Together:] If there's no thole in the group It's not considered duck soup.
[Kenny:] So thole a poster to get attention too...
[Mr. Hankey:] That's right! And three wise guys did appear Writing posts of merry and such They said that they had followed the kookster And missed Dave Tholen's touch.
[Kenny:] Tholen wrote, �It�s such a tragedy, They cannot follow my lead.�
[Mr. Hankey:] But again David Tholen appeared to us, and this is what he'll read
[Kenny:] You can thole all the posts you want
[Together:] And still be a dip-shit, Tholen!
[Kenny:] You can thole all the posts you want
[Mr. Hankey:] Everyone in this-here group.
[Kenny:] Tholenizing ain't no sin So have a group-kook three threads in.
[Mr. Hankey:] And you'll still be a weirdo.
[Kenny:] And they won�t use your dictata. You can thole all the posts you want
[Together:] And still be a dork-nose, Tholen!
[Kenny:] You can post it from your home and office
[Mr. Hankey:] And even the laptop in your hand, Folks will remember your name quick.
[Kenny:] For being the biggest dick.
[Together:] 'Cause tholing posts wastes bandwidth by the mile!
[Kenny:] 'Cause tholing posts
[Mr. Hankey:] Wastes bandwidth by the mile!
[Kenny:] 'Cause tholing posts
[Mr. Hankey:] Wastes bandwidth by the mile!
[Kenny:] Tholen, you can thole my post!