And the story continues...
Word of Kenny being female had spread fast in South Park for two reasons: it was pretty juicy gossip, and word spread fast in small towns anyway. Kendra wondered who *didn't* know by now, then devised a way to test. She put her hood back on, figuring that anyone who greeted her as 'Kenny' rather than 'Kendra' didn't know yet. As it happened, the first people she saw after her rehooding were Jimbo and Ned. "Hey there, Kenny!" Jimbo greeted her cheerfully. "How's my honorary nephew today?" From the way he was talking, Kendra deduced that he had had a couple drinks - not quite enough to make him drunk, but he was on the way. Having an alcoholic father did wonders for her knowledge of degrees of drunkenness. "Pretty good," Kendra answered, not worrying about the high pitch of her voice. She had fooled people for eight years, she could fool them a little longer. "Mmmmthat's good," Ned said in his weird machine voice. The two started to continue on their way. "Wait," Kendra said. "I have to show you something." "What's that?" Jimbo asked. Grinning evilly, Kendra pulled off her hood again. Jimbo's lower jaw was practically dangling around his knees. "YOU'RE A GIRL??" he screamed, his voice hitting an octave he probably hadn't acheived since he was a kid. "You noticed." Kendra said sarcastically, her ears ringing from the screech. "But-what the-how--" "Easy, I just never told anyone. I hope you don't mind that you actually have an honorary niece." Jimbo was about to disown her right there, but then remembered the hunting trip he, Ned, and the kids had gone on. Girl or not, Kenny was cool. "Nah, I don't mind...just a little surprised." "So far, everyone's reacted that way." "I wonder why," Jimbo said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "S'a mystery." "MmmmJimbo, mmmwe should be goingmmm," Ned interrupted. "Yeah," Jimbo agreed. "See you later, Kenn--Kendra," he corrected. "Bye." The two hunters left, and Kendra scratched off another on her mental checklist. - It was recess, and the four kids were sharing a laugh over the reactions at school. "I thought Mr Garrison's eyes were gonna pop out of his head!" Kyle said. "And did you *see* the look on Chef's face? I wish I'd had a camera right then!" Stan added with a laugh. "Your girlfriend is seriously territorial, Stan," Kendra said, one hand on her stomach where Wendy had punched her earlier. That had been the one reaction that she hadn't found very funny. "I mean, when there's a substitute you've got a crush on, I can understand that, but I'm your *friend*, for crying out loud!" "Sorry I didn't tell her in time," Stan apologized. "It's not your fault, it's hers for figuring I was trying to steal you before someone could explain." Kendra shrugged. "It could have been worse, she could have shot me or something." "Yoo-hoo, Earth to Cartman, Earth to Cartman," Kyle said, noticing that not only had Cartman not said a word during this whole conversation, but had totally spaced out. "Huh?" Cartman said profoundly, his mind returning to South Park from wherever it had been drifting. "Dude, Cartman, what's wrong with you?" Stan asked. "There's nothing wrong with me, hippie!" "You spaced out on us," Kendra pointed out. "I'd say there's something wrong." "Well," Cartman said, a small grin crossing his face, his eyes partially closing. He gazed at Kendra that way for a couple seconds, then snapped out of it. "No. No. There's nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing is up. Leave me alone." "There's something up," Stan commented quietly to Kendra and Kyle. They nodded. "Aaay! There is no...mmm." The dreamy look went over his face again as he looked at Kendra. "Cartman. Wake up. You're scaring us here," Kyle said. Cartman snapped out of it again. "I'm okay. Really." The other three seriously doubted that. - More proof that something was up with Cartman came later, during class. For some bizarre reason, Mr. Garrison had decided to talk about death today. Kendra seemed a bit bored, seeing as she knew from experience everything that Mr. Garrison was teaching. And then some. "Now, class, can anybody tell me how far down they bury people?" Kendra raised her hand. "Six feet." "That's right, Kendra, now how did you know?" Kendra sighed. "I die a lot. And I've been buried at least once. I think I would know from experience by now." Before Mr. Garrison could answer that, there was the sound of barfing. Kendra shot a look at Stan. There was no puke on his desk, and he looked just as confused as her. "Um. Don't look at Cartman," Kyle warned. Unable to resist once ordered not to, Kendra looked in Cartman's direction. There was a large pile of vomit in front of him, and he was embarrassedly wiping his mouth. "Uh, Cartman?" she asked, one eyebrow raised. "Are you okay?" "Bluuuuuuuughhh!" "Should I take that as a no?" Cartman held back another round of vomit. "No, I-I'm fine," he said feebly. Kendra gave him a skeptical look. "Are you sure?" "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." "Okay," Kendra said doubtfully. "Now, if I may interrupt this touching little interlude," Mr. Garrison said sarcastically, "there'll be a quiz tomorrow about today's lesson." Assorted groans. Kendra raised her hand. "Yes, Kendra?" "Do I have to take the quiz? I already know everything you talked about." "Blaaaauuugghhhh!" Cartman barfed. Stan and Wendy suddenly came to a realization. "Oh no," they moaned in unison. "What?" Kendra asked, still in the dark. "Can this wait until after class?" Mr. Garrison demanded. "To answer your question, Kendra, yes, you have to take it." Kendra scowled. - "Okay, so tell me what this is all about," Kendra inquired of Stan and Wendy later. "You couldn't tell?" Stan asked. "Stan, it took *us* a while to figure it out, go easy on her." "What...is...going...on???" Kendra demanded through gritted teeth. "Well," Wendy began, obviously not wanting to tell Kendra, "I'm surprised that me and Stan didn't figure it out sooner, since it was actually pretty obvious..." "You're stalling." "Don't you get it, Kenny?" Stan asked, using the nickname out of habit. "The way he was acting..." "He's in love with you, Kendra!" Wendy said. "He's *what*??" "In love with you," Wendy repeated. "It was pretty obvious, the way he kept throwing up after you said something..." "Like I used to whenever Wendy said something," Stan added. "And the way he kept looking at you and spacing out. And the way he denied that something was up. Someone should've figured it out earlier." Kendra wasn't sure whether she should commit suicide, change her name and identity, give Cartman a chance, or lock herself in her room and die laughing. "Damn," she managed to say.
What will happen next? What will come of Cartman's crush on Kendra?
Cartman: I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON KEN--<barf>--DRA!
Sure you don't, Cartman...
Alyssa