(fanfic) "The Kenny Mystery" Pt. 1

Well, I'm still trying to work on the Cheesy Poof one, but I'm temporarily writer's-blocked on that one, so I'm gonna do this one now.

Hope ya like it!

****************************************************************************************

[Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Sheila, and Kenny are at the front of the school]

Sheila: So, Kenny, why do you always wear that hood?

Kenny: {I don't know}

Stan: Why don't you take it off?

Kenny: {Umm, no dude! I'm not like that!}

Stan: The *hood*!!!

Kenny: {I don't really know...I guess I *should* sometime....How about tomorrow?}

Everyone: OK.

Kyle: We'll meet here?

Kenny: {OK}

[The next day]

[Everyone is back at the school]

Cartman: [whines] Hurry up! I want my Cheesy Poofs, and I can't get them until I can go home!

Stan: Shut up, fatass!

Cartman: AY!!!

Kyle: Kenny? You may proceed!

Kenny: {Drumroll, please!}

[Drumroll]

[Kenny turns around, so he's not facing the group. He takes off the hood, but before he can turn back around so everyone can see his face, a computer flies out a classroom window. It lands on Kenny, completely splattering him]

Voice In School: There! That's what *I* think of Windows <BLEEP>ING 98!!!! Bill Gates can clean my asshole with a toothbrush!

Stan: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!

Kyle: You bastard!

Cartman: Eh, he'll be back. He always is!

[Two weeks later]

[In front of school]

Stan: Dude, I'm really worried about Kenny! He didn't come back last week, and I still don't see him anywhere!

Cartman: Maybe his family finally ended up selling him to pay off their bills!

Kyle: Shut up, Cartman! This *is* strange. He should have been back by now!

Cartman: Well, maybe the planets aligned in such a way that Venus
reflected the green
         death rays of Mars, causing Jupiter to implode and the Sailor
Scouts to
         get pissed off and...

Stan: Cartman? What the hell are you talking about?

Sheila:  Well, anyway, how about if we wait a while and see what happens
here?  I mean,
         Kenny *always* comes back.  There's no reason why he wouldn't!
I think he'll
         be back before we know it...

[Twenty Years Later]

[Stan and Kyle, now about 28 years old are in the bar, talking. They look basically the same, surprisingly--of course, their voices are deeper]

Kyle: Yeah, dude, and that's how it all happened. Ever since then, Kenny hasn't returned!

Stan:  Dude!  *Now* I remember it all!  You know, I have this feeling
that something
       just isn't right.  Something is preventing Kenny from returning.
I'm sure he's
       supposed to, but something is standing in the way.  But, what it
is, I just don't
       know!

Kyle:  I can't figure it out either.  Kenny is our friend, and we have
to get him back.
       How?  As I said, I have no idea whatsoever.  But, I think for
now, we should get
       some more help on this.  Maybe we're missing an important detail
that someone
       else can clue us in on.

Stan: Who?

Kyle: Sheila, for one. And, even though I'm sure this is like setting up my own death here, I think we'll also have to get Cartman to help.

Stan: Dude! Where have those two been, anyway? I haven't seen them in about 5 years, since they got married and then went off on some trip.

Kyle: [heads off to telephone] Well, here goes...

****************************************************************************************

Well, how do you like it? Comments, criticisms, etc. *PLEASE*!!! :) Yes, I know it may be a bit different from my other fanfics--this idea was just something, well, different I decided to try out.

Yeah, there's more to come, of course!

~Kyle Broslofski~

<dies laughing> A Moonie, I presume? I've got to show this to Lindsay...

Like the 'fic so far..creative, original, different, please finish it!

Marguerrite, Hunter of the Infamous Matt and Trey (they call me Kim, but I know better) Aka Crabtree-Norn "Sit down and shut up!" "&^*$ Censorship!"-originated on alt.tv.southpark

Yeppers! Although with school and work, I haven't been able to see it lately! :(

Why, thank you! And, I should have Part 2 Friday, Saturday, Sunday or so (I *hope*!)

~Kyle Broslofski~

Cartoon Network is rerunning it from episode one, the only way I can see it is because Lindsay tapes it..I'm hoping I can somehow catch the end of Season R and then get my hands on fansubs. I hear the original is soooo much better.

Marguerrite, Hunter of the Infamous Matt and Trey (they call me Kim, but I know better) Aka Crabtree-Norn "Sit down and shut up!" "&^*$ Censorship!"-originated on alt.tv.southpark

On Tue, 08 Sep 1998 01:41:20 GMT, Kyle Broslofski wrote:

Egads, Sailon Moon... <vomits>

Heh, it was pretty different, but not bad.

Sailor Moon isn't *that* bad, is it? ;) (I'm a fan, BTW)

Thanks...after all, it was meant to be different--that was my objective! :)

~Kyle Broslofski~

Happiness is, a fellow Moonie.. (oh no, not more lines to the Happiness song Lindsay and I have been composing)

Marguerrite, Hunter of the Infamous Matt and Trey (they call me Kim, but I know better) Aka Crabtree-Norn "Sit down and shut up!" "&^*$ Censorship!"-originated on alt.tv.southpark

Happiness song?

~Kyle Broslofski~

[snippies]

Wheeeee! Kennyfics! <gives Kyle a cookie> Very good, good good good. It's a trifle obvious what's keeping Kenny from resurrecting, I think - but then, I thought the killer in Playing the Game of Revenge was obvious until I read part2....

<mind begins working...Playing the Game of Revenge....Kim and Lindsay....Kim....McCormick....part 3....need....train of thought is dragged back to the fic at hand>

Well, as I mentioned, 'twas goooood. 'Cept, why didn't Stan seem to remember a wholelot about Kenny or the incident? <whistles X-Files theme>

Alyssa

Well you see, that was what we *wanted* you to think. And it worked! So we're happy.

Soon, my friend, soon. When my disk stops fucking around with the document, and when I'm sure Trey and Matt will like being portrayed as fame-hungry madmen (then again, who cares what they think, but anyway..) then McCormick pt. 3 will be written and posted, with twists and surprises at every turn (hopefully), one of which I'm hoping does not wind up too stupid.

Marguerrite, Hunter of the Infamous Matt and Trey (they call me Kim, but I know better) Aka Crabtree-Norn "Sit down and shut up!" "&^*$ Censorship!"-originated on alt.tv.southpark

we're

Aaah! You mind-messers-with, you! ;)

document,

What, is the new one being evil too?

madmen

3 will

(hopefully), one

<impatient bouncebouncing - can you tell that I'm a McCormick fan? <g>> Hurryup, hurryup, hurryup, <Cartman-esque whining>

I know

Alyssa "I'm proud of my pride!" Frank Pembleton, Homicide

Why, thank you! :) Well, I'll tell ya one thing--the death without the hood on is *not* the cause of his permanent death ;)--you'll see why it seems that way! :) (Yeah, I have a very strange idea for what is causing the death--not obvious at all!)

Ahhh! McCormick Part 3!!! :) I, too, am anxiously awaiting that! :)

Hmm, I'm not sure about the Stan thing yet--that may have something to do with the cause of Kenny's death, or maybe not--I haven't decided on that part yet....

~Kyle Broslofski~

[znip]

Argh! More mind-messing! I'm going to go nuts...<thinks> hmm...was the the fact that he was killed by a computer which had Windows 98 on it?

Kendra: She'd like to mention that that was a wild guess. Lenni: A *very* wild guess.

See, Kim? You have *fans!* People want to read your *work!* Isn't that *cool?* (I'm being weird here)

theme>

Oh.

Oh, before I forget, I've got a question I'd like to add for your interview with Sheila: "Has anybody ever told you that you and Cartman are a perfect couple?"

Alyssa P.S. Anyone have any ideas for this 'fic I'm writing from Kenny's point of view? Just throw in random plot ideas if you have any, maybe one will actually work, or if it won't, I'll find a way to make it work, knowing the way I handle story ideas...

Ooh, ooh, I know! How about some frequent posters on the newsgroup do cameos? Sort of 'Playing the Game of Revenge' esque.

"Music. What a wonderful thing that while our government is collapsing and our economy is crumbling and people are dying everywhere, we can all gather together here and say 'Hey, Will Smith is wearing great pants tonight!'"-Trey Parker

GUMPELS wrote in article ...

of

the

cameos?

And mere minutes after I post, I am forced to eat my words :p I'm not sure exactly how that would work, unless we're planning for, say, Snow or Kyle or Toni to be Kenny and Lenni's commanding officer or fellow soldier :P I'd post the plot, but I think I've got a good part 1 to post, so I'll post that.

Okay, maybe I can make that idea work. So now I get to eat my words that said I had to eat my words :P

and

gather

tonight!'"-Trey

Alyssa "I love mankind, it's PEOPLE I can't stand!" - Linus van Pelt

Alyssa wrote:

Wha-wha-what? Did you say you're considering putting some frequent posters like lil old me in a fanfic?:) Kick ass! Give it a shot and try to work it in another fanfic somehow.

-Toni

Alyssa wrote:

Hehe! :) Me in a fanfic! That would be cool! ;)

~Kyle Broslofski~

Nopers! :)

But a very *good* guess! :)

Well, *now* I've decided! I wrote Part 2....methinks it might suck...:(

Thanks for the question! Methinks I'll have the interview done soon....or not....my schedule sucks ass--work, school, homework, study. AAAAAHHHH!

Hmm, I'll have to think a bit here....my brain was fried from a geometry quiz that I absolutely fucked up.....and geometry homework....and *GEOMETRY*!!! UGH! I just don't get it!

~Kyle Broslofski~ Who Sports An Excessive Hate For Geometry AND CHEMISTRY!

Bleh, trust me to forget something in a post and have to post again. It ocurred to me that I was thinking of a similar idea - where Kenny died, but was trapped in the afterlife somehow, and someone had to go get him - but kinda scrapped it 'cause I couldn't figure how to write it.

Alyssa