ROCKY HORROR SOUTH PARK SHOW II: SOUTH PARK TREATMENT A South Park/Shock Treatment Crossover ["Shock Treatment" is the sequel to "Rocky Horror"] By Arthur Levesque -- [email] -- http://boog.org
(The screen is black. We hear a voice, BEBE)
Bebe: This is the story of South Park. Lights!
(The lights come up. We are seeing Bebe's face in close-up.)
Bebe: Once upon a time, in a town called South Park, there lived a real smart guy. His life was smart. His family was smart. Even his favorite candy was "Smarties". But he was still not satisfied. His friends were complete morons. So he decided to share his smart lifestyle with someone else - a cute little girl. Trouble was, she already had a boyfriend...
(And with a "boing!" sound effect, the camera pulls back and the "South Park Treatment Overture" begins. The camera pans across a large billboard hanging from the rafters which says "South Park, the Home of Hamburgers". As the camera angle moves, we see that we are in the auditorium of South Park Elementary School. The seats are filled with the parents of students, with other people making their way in. The mayor, trying to walk and talk on her cellular phone at the time, bumps into Kyle's mother)
Kyle's mother: Whoops!
Mayor (into phone): Sorry, I just ran into one of these fat hicks...
Kyle's mother: Wha-wha-what?
(The camera tracks the Mayor as she walks to her seat, which is being reserved by her security squad. As she sits down, the camera continues to move, panning past a banner which reads "It's Gotta Be SP-TV!" The camera finally turns toward the stage, where we see the children taking positions next to some large letters which spell "SOUTH PARK". Zoom in on Kyle, dressed in what Mr. Garrison thinks an orthodox Jew would wear, standing behind a huge dreidel with an "O" on it; speaking to Cartman, behind a big cheesy-poof shaped like a "U")
Kyle: Good luck, Cartman!
Cartman (gnawing at the giant Cheesy Poof): Yeah, whatever...
(Bebe has just taken her position by a huge Barbie Playhouse shaped like an "H". She is dressed as a cheerleader, and looks around nervously. She sees Stan and Wendy run out from backstage. Wendy is also dressed as a cheerleader, and runs to join Bebe. Stan, dressed as a cowboy, takes his position next to the big "S" which is painted with spots to look like a cow.)
Stan: What are we gonna do, Wendy?
Wendy: It's alright, Stan, everything's gonna be alright.
(The camera pulls back to show the entire stage... That Pigpen-esque kid is dressed like Officer Barbrady and is standing next to the "T", which has a brick face and barred windows like a jail. Terrence is standing next to a "P" designed to look like his father's Genetic Engineering Ranch, his two friends are next to a bright pink "A", Pip is standing in front of an "R" which is striped like the Union Jack, and Kenny is standing to the left of a "K" made out of giant scotch bottles. Phillip Glass, off to the side, hits four notes on his keyboard to start the song...)
SOUTH PARK, SOUTH PARK
(to the tune of "Denton, USA") STAN
You'll find greys and cows
Chef does the nasty
And Jimbo's Guns
Tom's Rhinoplasty
In South Park KYLE
I'll sing the dreidel song
For my mother's sake CARTMAN
I'll get buffed up
Beefcake, beefcake! KYLE
In South Park PIGPEN
There's nothing to see
Not a thingy-dingy
Cartman's mom is real clingy CARTMAN
Hey! KYLE
South Park students do their duties CARTMAN
And South Park girls are full of cooties WENDY & BEBE
You may call us a bunch of cracker rednecks
But we have lots of drugs and good sex
In S - O - U - T - H Park
You know our bite is worse than our bark! CARTMAN
If you're looking for a lot of pizzas
Call Domino's of Little Caesar's KYLE
Shut up, you fat hog CARTMAN
I'm just doing my job KYLE
You're a slob! AUDIENCE
South Park, South Park
Your humor is so dark
You're where Kenny dies, you're OK!
South Park, South Park
We've got "Spin"'s lowest mark
We never say "No"
We've got lots of snow
In South Park, South Park USA! TERRENCE
This is the armpit of America TERRENCE'S FRIENDS
We're stuck in this school all day TERRENCE
This is where I study genetics TERRENCE'S FRIENDS
Everyone here is gay... PIP
Transfer here, I'm sure you will adapt. STAN
Be quiet, Pip! KYLE
Everybody hates you! CARTMAN
And we think all French people are full of crap! AUDIENCE
South Park, South Park
Your humor is so dark
You're where Kenny dies, you're OK!
South Park, South Park
We've got "Spin"'s lowest mark
We never say "No"
We've got lots of snow
In South Park, South Park USA!(Audience stands)
South Park, South Park
Your humor's so dark
You're where Kenny dies, you're OK!
South Park, South Park
We've got "Spin"'s lowest mark
We never say "No"
We've got lots of snow
In South Park, South Park USA!(Audience sits. The big "K" falls over on Kenny, but he crawls out from under it and signals that he's OK.)