jms8402 (1:07:49 AM): Hello would you be interested in Air purification systems for the home or office that harness the power of a thunderstorm for indoor air environments up to 3,500 square feet? Portable units use ozone and negative ions to clense the air and it surroundings. Contact me if you are interested in finding out more. funkyAGFF (1:09:13 AM): I'm listening... jms8402 (1:21:56 AM): Well, we have served over 600,000 to people like you all over the USA and this product can be used in any electrical outlet just like a common piece of furniture. By using state-of-the-art technology, it filters both inside and outside air to help you breathe, sleep, and feel better. It also has a built in quiet fan to make the room cooler during the hot summer months. Sorry it took so long to answer, I was knocked off the net. funkyAGFF (1:22:17 AM): I sneeze a lot. jms8402 (1:22:56 AM): That could be due to the dust mites and allergy-causing pollutants floating in your air. funkyAGFF (1:23:11 AM): Do mites suck? jms8402 (1:23:14 AM): If you have a sneezing problem, this sounds like a good investment for you. jms8402 (1:24:06 AM): Mites are what make dust. They eat your skin in your nose and in your hair making tiny particles float around, which can cause sickness. funkyAGFF (1:24:06 AM): Will this air system turn my walls yellow? jms8402 (1:25:09 AM): No, not unless they are already yellow. In fact, it will draw the pollutants in to the filter through the wall. Thats what the ions are used for. jms8402 (1:26:29 AM): What do you say, are you interested? funkyAGFF (1:26:31 AM): Will it turn my refridgerator yellow? One of my co-workers refridgerators turned yellow because of his air system. jms8402 (1:27:22 AM): It will turn nothing yellow at all. In fact, it will keep things cleaner all the time. It hardly raises your energy bill a couple cents too. funkyAGFF (1:27:48 AM): I'm kinda poor... a couple of cents is quite a bit to me... jms8402 (1:28:14 AM): So do not be worried about money or your possesions. They will stay normal, but your health will not if you. jms8402 (1:28:38 AM): It works so well, I have had many people say some great stuff about it. funkyAGFF (1:29:47 AM): Has anyone ever been injured by these things? I'm quite paranoid about getting my hand sucked into machines... it's a long story. jms8402 (1:31:08 AM): No one has been injured. There is no need to be worried about being electrocuted or cut by the quiet fan. There is a gate in front of the fan so you can not hurt yourself by accident. :) funkyAGFF (1:32:12 AM): What if the gate gets broken? Sometimes I spaz out and go into fits of rage. I've broken windows, for God's sakes! Is this durable material we are talking about?! jms8402 (1:33:32 AM): It's made out of industrial grade plastic and metal with a wood or white finish. There are other colors you can choose from, also. These are very durable. In fact, I dropped mine down the stairs once and it did not have a dent on it. ;-) funkyAGFF (1:35:39 AM): I fell down the stairs once. I was dented. It's really sad to find out that I'm weaker than an air purication system... jms8402 (1:36:48 AM): Yes, but the air purification system helps make you healthier and it makes you sleep better. funkyAGFF (1:37:28 AM): Whoa! They should call these things 'Miracle Machines'! jms8402 (1:38:49 AM): Since you get so much more 'pure' oxygen in your house, it helps you sleep better so you don't have to breath as heavily and when you wake up, the oxygen level in your blood has risen, making you more energetic. funkyAGFF (1:38:49 AM): Have you ever heard of Relm Arrowny before? jms8402 (1:39:02 AM): No I haven't, what would that be? funkyAGFF (1:39:40 AM): What is right! It's this little ten year old girl I know. She has a thing for dogs... jms8402 (1:40:36 AM): Oh...would you be interested in purchasing one of our systems? funkyAGFF (1:41:03 AM): I don't know. How much is it? I've gotten a couple other offers... funkyAGFF (1:42:29 AM): One person even said that their system is primed for cleansing the air of my aardvark's hair. Do you know how tough it is to rid your air of aardvark hair? It ain't easy, I'll tell you that... jms8402 (1:43:21 AM): Really? I'm sure our macine would pick it up if you had any. funkyAGFF (1:43:51 AM): Have you ever met an aardvark? jms8402 (1:44:04 AM): Nope, I don't go to the zoo. funkyAGFF (1:44:23 AM): Don't have to. I'm petting mine right now. funkyAGFF (1:45:16 AM): And Relm's in the other room with Interceptor, her pet pooch. They're making a lot of noise... jms8402 (1:46:39 AM): Gee, is Strago anywhere near? I know my FF3. funkyAGFF (1:47:13 AM): And you didn't know who Relm Arrowny was? Why didn't you say something sooner! jms8402 (1:47:14 AM): Do you still want to know the price, sir? funkyAGFF (1:47:22 AM): What is the price? funkyAGFF (1:47:38 AM): Relm is a fooey slut, by the way... jms8402 (1:48:16 AM): It is $640 -- that includes shipping and tax. Before you turn this down, I just want you to realize for a second how much healthier you would feel. funkyAGFF (1:48:31 AM): I have three dollars and fifty cents jms8402 (1:48:33 AM): I didn't know that was Relm's last name. funkyAGFF (1:49:01 AM): Well, you learned something! Does that get me a discount? jms8402 (1:50:20 AM): No sir, I'm sorry it doesn't. If I had control of the matter, I would give you a discount because you are a pretty cool guy. At least if you bought this, you wouldn't be sick as much with the flu, Bronchitis, or any number of diseases. funkyAGFF (1:51:03 AM): I don't know... I kind of like having diseases once in a while... Toughens up the system and all... jms8402 (1:52:04 AM): That's true, but it could really be useful...think it over. It's a very good investment. funkyAGFF (1:52:31 AM): Is there a 'disease-control button' or something. Say I didn't want to get influeza, but wanted the common cold. Is there a way to suck in the flu, but keep the cold roaming around so I might catch it? jms8402 (1:53:49 AM): Actually, there is a dial on there to control how much to filter or not. If you put it on full blast, it will filter your whole house of diseases. If you turn it down, it will only take the larger bacteria (Influenza, etc.) :) Seriously! funkyAGFF (1:54:30 AM): Whoa! You are one smart cookie! funkyAGFF (1:55:12 AM): Can you set it to suck in small animals, perhaps small children even? jms8402 (1:55:16 AM): No, it's the machine doing all the work my friend. And it can do all the work for you too! It's a very worthy investment. jms8402 (1:55:45 AM): No I'm sorry sir. It can't do that. jms8402 (1:55:55 AM): That's what the garbage disposal is for. funkyAGFF (1:56:35 AM): Well, it sounds pretty good. I'm going to get with my girlfriend and discuss it over. I've had other offers and I'd still like to look around a bit more... funkyAGFF (1:57:38 AM): How come your warning level is at 30%? jms8402 (1:57:44 AM): It is a worthy cause. It also filters any pet bacteria, too. It is pretty small, about one square foot big. It does not take up too much room at all. jms8402 (1:57:55 AM): One of my friends is being an asshole. funkyAGFF (1:58:13 AM): Maybe you should go over and smack him upside the head. jms8402 (1:59:22 AM): I should shouldn't I. This machine also cleans the air just the same way nature cleans it. By using electricity to charge it's ions, they bacteria sticks to the filters even more then a certified HEPA filter. funkyAGFF (1:59:50 AM): Whoa. Science. jms8402 (2:00:53 AM): Yea, so it is good for you. It will overall keep you healthy and alive longer. It is very sturdy and will be with you for many years to come if you choose to purchase it. funkyAGFF (2:02:32 AM): What if I don't want to live much longer? I think I'm happy with what I'm done in my life. I think I wanna die in a couple of months. jms8402 (2:03:39 AM): Well, then take a hammer and knock off the grill of the filter so the fan is showing. Stick your wrist in the fan, it's faster and more painless than slitting your wrist with a butter knife. And you can do it whenever you want. jms8402 (2:04:38 AM): It is a worthy cause, please consider what you will be doing when you buy it. funkyAGFF (2:04:48 AM): That would be cool! But I have a fan I could do that with already. It claimed my right pinky about six months ago... jms8402 (2:05:19 AM): But you would be more energetic before you die with this fan! :) funkyAGFF (2:05:30 AM): I thought you said there is no way this thing could injure me! funkyAGFF (2:06:08 AM): Is this some kind of prank?! I'm mildly alarmed here! jms8402 (2:06:14 AM): No way it could if you didn't want it to...if you want it to, it could. So what do you say? jms8402 (2:06:23 AM): No sir, it is no prank. funkyAGFF (2:06:25 AM): It sounds scary! funkyAGFF (2:06:43 AM): I'm just going to kill my cat, OK? jms8402 (2:06:50 AM): It's fan is very quiet and it is small. funkyAGFF (2:07:04 AM): But you make it sound like a death machine! jms8402 (2:07:14 AM): Ok fine, kill your cat. It will do no harm to the fan. As a matter a fact, I think cats suck. funkyAGFF (2:07:23 AM): I love cats! jms8402 (2:07:26 AM): It is not a death machine. It purifies the air. funkyAGFF (2:07:45 AM): Maybe it takes all the air, then I can't breathe! I will suffocate! jms8402 (2:08:25 AM): No it doesn't take the air, it just passes it through. funkyAGFF (2:08:38 AM): I'm starting to have second thought about this air thing... sounds dangerous to my health... and my cat's... jms8402 (2:09:20 AM): your cat can't get hurt unless you beat the hell out of the machine with your hammer or other heavy object. funkyAGFF (2:09:38 AM): Why would I want to do that? jms8402 (2:09:42 AM): but otherwise it is good for your cats health too. jms8402 (2:09:52 AM): i dont know, why would you? funkyAGFF (2:10:04 AM): I don't know, I'm asking you. I love cats. jms8402 (2:10:30 AM): It's up to you why you would beat up the grill of the machine to take it off. funkyAGFF (2:11:03 AM): Actually, I have spasms, so it may be involuntary... jms8402 (2:11:06 AM): If you love cats, then you have nothing to worry about...except your health. If you get this machine, you don't have to worry about your health either! funkyAGFF (2:11:29 AM): You mean it could make me invincible?! jms8402 (2:12:10 AM): It would make you really healthy. Listen, what do you say? I have to go really soon. funkyAGFF (2:12:35 AM): I have to talk with my cat. He's pretty skeptical about these things... funkyAGFF (2:13:18 AM): I could just invest in a gas mask... that would also make a bold fashion statement... jms8402 (2:13:25 AM): Come on buddy, before I have to leave. Yes or no my friend? funkyAGFF (2:13:40 AM): Um, no. It sounds too scary for my taste. funkyAGFF (2:13:56 AM): Too many options! jms8402 (2:14:07 AM): Really? There are only two dials on it. funkyAGFF (2:14:21 AM): Too many painful ways my cat and I might die... jms8402 (2:14:28 AM): So it's definently a no? funkyAGFF (2:14:35 AM): Definitely... funkyAGFF (2:14:47 AM): I'm a good speller! jms8402 (2:15:12 AM): You are. So yes? Or no? :| funkyAGFF (2:15:19 AM): No. jms8402 (2:15:52 AM): Well, I'm sorry we couldn't make this deal. Maybe we will talk soon. funkyAGFF (2:16:11 AM): Maybe. I'm just going to stroke my cat and wait for it all to end... jms8402 (2:16:49 AM): Let me know if you change your mind sir. I will be on tomorrow or sometime in the future. funkyAGFF (2:17:11 AM): OK. I'm going to go defile Relm now! Peace! jms8402 (2:18:07 AM): Later. Let me know if you change your mind. funkyAGFF (2:18:16 AM): Will do! funkyAGFF (2:18:27 AM): Relm is a fooey slut. funkyAGFF (2:18:35 AM): I feel so much better now... jms8402 (2:19:08 AM): You would feel even better with a purifier. funkyAGFF (2:20:00 AM): I'm gonna go do my girlfriend. I'll possibly get back with you later. jms8402 (2:20:19 AM): ok will do funkyAGFF (2:20:36 AM): See ya. jms8402 (2:20:42 AM): bye
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