k....here is as far as I've got....yes, I got permission to put sheila in (cheers kyle) so pardon me if the character ain't right....it's takin longer than I thought toget to the titleas point but....thats the way it is...i'm gonna post my other fic as well tonight (tit-antic) that will also include all three parts( as far as I've got)....that one isn't as strong as this one (but having siad that....).....anyways on with the fic;-
BATTLE FOR THE AGES:
=...
[Scene: Kids are lined up]
MR. GARRISON: Kyle
KYLE: Yes, mr.garrison
MR.G: stop playing with that firecracker�Don't you think about these kinda things
KYLE: No, Mr.Garrison�we just follow trend�well all except Cartman...who's follows the trend set in sassy films�[cartman's not paying attention]
MR.G: Eric�Eric�ERIC, YOU LITTLE SOB, PAY ATTENTION!!!!
CARTMAN:huh? Ay!
MR.G: come Mr.hat we'll leave ERIC to his own devices�[leaves room]
STAN: Cartman you fatass insensitive bitch, what the hella you doin'?
CARTMAN:[from behind desk] I'm playing with dolly��.I mean, nothing you hippie piece-a crap
STAN:[glares] shut up�.you, you, you OVERGROWN TODDLER!!!!!!!!!
KYLE: whoh, don't go all psycho on me dude!
STAN: oh, sorry�.[sits down, eyes slowly power down]
[everyone goes back to normal activity(what's 'at then)]
KENNY:{who's that}
STAN:�������..
KYLE:�������.
CARTMAN:��.come along mrs.ALLIGATOR�.you're going for a walk with mr. BARNEY the DINOSAUR (what's with the caps, I DON'T KNOW)
STAN: shut up Cartman�we're having a moment���
CARTMAN: OH, I'm sorry I didn't mean to spoil you're hippie, drugged up party�(sarcasm)
KENNY:{she's the hottest piece-a work I ever saw�..I wanna get in her}
STAN: ch-yeah��..
[lady person goes to a desk by cartman, sits down]
SHE SEZ: Hi, I'm Atlantis
CARTMAN: are you ATLANTIS morrisette???[still not looking up] ATLANTIS: Er...no, that's Alannis(is that spelt right)
CARTMAN: typical woman, always talkin' back�.If I tell you you're alannis��you're alannis!
[atlantis gets up and sits somewhere else]
ATLANTIS: what's everyone staring at???[she's being watched by everyone�she has a low cut��tank top��..translucent]
STAN: er���.[turns back and faces the front of the room]
KYLE��[follows suit, also faces the front]
KENNY:{hehe�.your breasts}[she doesn't hear, he carries on lookin']
KYLE: what'a you getting for christmas(desperately trying to change the subject)
STAN: atlantis,here's hoping[smuggly grins]�..you???
KYLE: ER�..socks, and some Hanukah crap�..
ATLANTIS: stop staring at me kid
KENNY:{aren't you a bit old for our class???}
ATLANTIS: STOP IT��.
KENNY: {whoh, she's like wendy, dude�.}
WENDY: I HEARD THAT!![stands up�towers over kenny��.twats 'im one(hit him), kenny falls off his chair]
ATLANTIS: whhhhooooo! GO GIRL, [holds hand out as a shaking hand gesture]�hi!
WENDY: I don't BEFRIEND home-WRECKERS!!!
ATLANTIS: excuse me???�.who said I wrecked anyone's home but my own??!!
WENDY:[calms down�..everyone goes back to south park normality] oh, I'm sorry�.
ATLANTIS: it's ok, everyone gets PMT/PMS every so often<hehe>
WENDY: WHA���..[Mr.garrison walks in]
MR.G: hello again, children��oh, I see you've met�.[looks at sheet of paper] ALANTIS�.oh, I mean a-T-lantis!!
PART 2 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------------------------------
[Scene��.bus-stop all the boys are waiting for the bus]
ATLANTIS: hey guys�
KENNY: { hey, look it's the HORN }
KYLE: ew, gross dude�.[whispers to kenny]�she DOES have a name y'know!
STAN: hey atlantis�..
ATLANTIS: where's that a,ha![sees kenny] YOU will stop looking at me like that you little pervert!!!!!
KENNY: [from behind cartman] {aaaahhhhhh, psycho hose beast, she wants me to be the incubator for her alien eggs�.help me}
KYLE: calm kenny���
ATLANTIS: no, actually I only provide that service to adults!!
STAN: [laughs NERVOUSLY]
[the bus arrives, they get on(!)]
[NEW scene: the classroom MR.garrison is away�.so pricipal victoria ( is that her name?)�. Is filling in.]
PRINCIPAL: well children, I'm sorry to say that Mr. Garrison is not here today[cheers from the class]�so I'll be teaching you you're biology lesson�.where did you leave off.
STAN: we had just been told what we're doing this term��
PRINCIPAL: and what's that then er�..[looks down register] Stan??
STAN: we are going to be learning about what the general things biology consists of��<giggles>
PRINCIPAL: ok,�so who'd like to start by getting up and telling everyone what they think biology means??
[no hands go up]
KYLE: I say cartman��.[suddenly cartman looks up, eyes lit up]��I mean because he's really clever.
CARTMAN: AAY!�oh, wait that's a good thing�..[stands up]�.for christmas I will be getting a large terrance and phillip dolls�I MEAN ACTION TOY..set.
PRICIPAL: ERIC!!! That's not what we were talking about��.do you know what biology means�?
CARTMAN: er�..sure�..it's er��help me out here guys!
[kids laugh in unison]
STAN: yeha, Eric what does Biology mean�?[laughs pityingly]
KYLE & KENNY LAUGH
CARTMAN:er�..er��can I go and sit down now�..
PRINCIPAL .V.: not until you tell the class what biology means�..by all means, hurry it up!
CARTMAN: BIOLOGY, means�.you lot ever seen an ostrich??
STAN: is it like a rainbow�.
[KIDS BURST OUT LAUGHING]
CARTMAN: yeah, AY! No�..you hippie�.an ostrich�
KYLE: yeah, cartman we know what a * BEEPING * ostrich is�.
CARTMAN: oh,��k�.well an ostrich is a BIOLOGY��
[ATLANTIS FALLS OFF HER CHAIR, SCREAMING WITH LAUGHTER ]
ATLANTIS: don't you know anything, fatass�.biology is��
[PIP stands�recites the almost dictionary like explanation]
ATLANTIS:��..
[NEW scene�.breaktime��camera is focused on the huddle of boys]
KENNY: { cartman get your ass outa my face}
CARTMAN: my ass ain't in your face kenny, you poor weakling
KYLE: cartman, you a gimp, move up you're squishing my like a * JELLYBEAN *
[flicks scene..still break�girls huddle]
WENDY: Hey bebe(?) I'm going to see stan�.are you coming??
BEBE: sure�
ATLANTIS: hi, can I hang with you's guys?
BEBE: su�.[wendy smacks her in the stomach]
WENDY: sorry we're going to see my BOYFRIEND!![her rubbing it in for fun]
ATLANTIS: k��.Er�.either of you seen sheila?? She seemed nice!!
[bebe and wendy giggle]
ATLANTIS: what's so funny��DO I MAKE YOU LAUGH??
BEBE: no�.we're just�.
WENDY: why what's it to you??[acting tough]
ATLANTIS: * I DON'T LIKE BEING LAUGHED AT *
WENDY: I DON'T LIKE BEING THREATENED��
[the sounds of head cracking on concrete flooring]
BEBE: wendy�!
[school goes silent, it was that attention drawing�.stan notices..]
STAN: * WENDY! *
[atlantis leaves the scene]
KYLE: whoh, someone bitchier than wendy AND sheila
CARTMAN: no way, no ones bitchier than my Sheila�..AY!
[new scene with just sheila and Atlantis�.backs to camera�a map is seen out of the sides of the cameras view]
ATLANTIS: {mumbles like kenny�.not hearable to camera}
SHEILA & ATLANTIS: [laugh in unison�..turn to camera,both have a LOOK in their eyes]
SHEILA: PINWHEELS!! We can call it�� "* Death to Chef *"
ATLANTIS: we'll post banners on that Cartman's kids ass!!!
SHEILA: wha�.WHAT?? * PINWHEELZ *
ATLANTIS: oh, yeah, sorry [smuggly grins]
[changes scene, back in classroom]
PRINCIPAL .V: well children, this is your english lesson�.and just because Mr. Garrison is away doesn't mean MR. hat is!!
[moans come from class]
KENNY: {but Mr. phat�I mean HAT sucks ass}
KYLE: yeah, he's a * BEEPING * puppet���.look watch[stands up walks to the front of the class]
PRINCIPAL .V: Sit DOWN��.!!!
KYLE: but��[smacks the table]�..DAMMIT��I * HATE * Mr. HAT.
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" the lord awaits " " awaits what? " " his daily RUB DOWN "-me in all my wickedness!! " Kick My *BUCKET* " " Very shagadelic...it's not mine, baby, honest. ....someones playin' a prank on me[!] " __________________________________________________