Accents have not been applied. This is NOT a full episode. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The scene sees the boys coming home from school.
(Cartman farts)
Cartman: "Well, I'm hungry, I'll see you guys later .."
Stan: "That's it . Go on home and eat you goddamned fat ass!"
Cartman: " I'm not fat! My weight is inversely proportional to Kenny's
familys' income"
(Everyone laughs- except Kenny, who frowns)
Kenny: " mmmm, mmmm'mm mmm mmmmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmm!"
-Translation. " Well, you've got bigger tits than your mom!"
(Stan and Kyle both smile)
Kyle: "Good observation Kenny"
Cartman: "F*ck off Kenny you little f*cker!"The boys go their separate directions.
The scene finds Cartman approaching his front door, when a brick falls from the sky and makes contact with his head.
Cartman: " Owww, what the..., who through this goddamn brick at me!?"
Cartman turns round and looks up and sees the clouds parted, with Jesus' dad pointing at him, saying:
God: "ERIC!" Cartman: "Holy Sh*t, I mean..uh..y-yes god" God: "ERIC!......YOU MUST DO SOMETHING FOR ME!"
Cartman stands open mouthed
God: "ERIC, ARE YOU F*CKING LISTENING TO ME?!" Cartman: "Yes God" God: "ERIC, TOMORROW YOU MUST GO TO SCHOOL WITH CAHLNN MAHAKME NA YEART HEENORS!" Cartman: "What, it sounded like you said you wanted me to go to school
tomorrow with...uhh c..." God: " YOU HEARD ME.. PORK FEATURES"
God dissapears into the clouds. A confused Cartman turns around and walks towards his front door.
Cartman: " Oho, I uh think I'll get me some fudgy finger surprises....mmm that sounds pretty good. Or, maybe I'll have blueberry blast tarts"
Cartman enters his house.
Cartmans' Mom: "Hello Eric, did you have a good day at school?" Cartman: " Hi Mom,.......Mom?" Cartmans' Mom: "Yes dear" Cartman: "Mom, can I borrow your make-up?" Cartmans' Mom: "Why sure you can Eric. Its upstairs in the room where mommy gives pony rides" Cartman: "OK Mom"
Go to commercial. The scene changes to the classroom- minus Mr. Garrison and minus Cartman.
Kyle: "Dude, I wonder where Cartman is" Kenny: " Mm mmmmmmmm mmm mmm mmmm mmmmm mm m mmmmm mmmmmm.......hmhmhm" -Translation: " He probably got his head stuck in a girls vagina..........hahahaha" Stan: "Sick dude, what would he be doing with his head near a vagina?" Kenny blinks. Stan: " No, really, I want to know?!"
Cartman enters the room - with no pants on. Entire class screams, gasps, points and is generally shocked.
Wendy: "Ewww, whats that?" Stan: "Cartman you sick granny-f*cker, you've got clown make-up on your penis" Kenny: "Mm mmmm mmmm m mmmmm mmmm" -Translation "It looks like a jelly bean" Cartman: "Shuddup you guys, God told me to do this" Kyle: "God told you to come to school with your penis made up to look like a clown?" Cartman: "Thats right, my mom did it for me"
Mr. Garrison walks in. Finds a pantsless Cartman standing up facing the class.
Mr. Garrison: "Don't look Mr. Hat, its an eclipse" Stan: "Mr. Garrison, have you met bobo the clown?"
Entire class laughs. Cartman turns around and exposes himself to Mr. Garrison. The view is obscured by Mr. Hat.
Mr. Garrison: " Mother of all creation! What have you done to yourself Eric?........That reminds me, Mr. Hat don't let me forget to buy jelly beans on the way home tonight. Cartman: "My mom did it. Because God told me to come to school with
clown make-up on my penis........At least it sounded
like thats what he said"
Mr. Garrison: " Oh, I don't think God would have told you to do that you little joy toy..I MEAN ...Eric. You're on
detention mister.
Cartman: "Mr. Garrison?"
Mr. Garrison: " Yes Eric"
Cartman: "Are you going to spank me?"
Mr. Garrison: "Well I haven't decided...........Oh heck, I can't wait,
lets go and start that detention now Eric......
Mr. Hat, you sure picked a good day to bring
your camera to school.The End.....or is it?
Thanks, Ron