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I know some things that'll solve some problems...

PRIMARY FATHER SUSPECTS:

Visitor Man in Green Stan's Grampa Kenny

Okay, let me clear up a things here. All of these people here say stuff like, "Hey, I think it's Kitty because he slept with Mrs. Cartman!" You are all IDIOTS! Even if a person on the show had made a suggestion with sleeping with Mrs. Cartman, that doesn't mean that they're the father. Like with the example I just gave you, Mrs. Cartman said, "Well then I know a certain kitty-kitty who's sleeping with Mommy tonight." That does not mean that Kitty is the father, even if he did sleep with her! It all depends on who actually IMPREGNATED Mrs. Cartman. Here are some reasons why these characters above are good suspects:

VISITOR - Very good suspect. There's nearly a visitor hiding in every episode, and the episodes have references, too. Cartman's address is 1002, but in 'Cliffhanger' it was different on purpose. 1002 backwards is 2001, like the movie. Had the visitors kidnapped Cartman for an odd reason such as this?

MAN IN GREEN - Very good suspect. At the end, in the pans from person to person, where Kyle and such were, you can see three men, the one in the middle with a green shirt on. At the drunken barn dance, he was hanging from the ceiling. The way he is hidden like this makes him a primary suspect.

STAN'S GRAMPA - Not a very good suspect, but a worthwhile one. He said that he humped Mrs. Cartman. Oh, great. But he's too old, probably, and he couldn't of possibly impregnated her. But hey, this is South Park, anything could happen.

KENNY - He's a little pervert. Nuff said.

Also, here are some reasons why others arent good suspects.

CHEF - Any idiots who think it's Chef can go to hell. Chef only tongue-kissed her. KEVIN - Half-monkey men, or any other animals, can't impregnate humans. KITTY - Nope. Sorry. Refer to Kevin's description to see why. CHIEF RUNNING WATER - Yeh, right. Like his father's some hippie Indian! MR. GARRISON - That's impossible. He's gay (but he did do it)!!! MR. HAT - You idiots who think it's Mr. Hat are wrong. He's just a puppet. THE CARTMAN FATHER-LIKE GUY ON THE UNEDITED VERSION OF 'CARTMAN GETS AN ANAL PROBE' - No, too obvious. MEPHISTO or MEPHESTO - Too old he is.

That's it. If you have any comments, post a message or e-mail me at: [email]

LeEsPaM2 DIE, FOOL!

"When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not. Hmm?" (Sorry, I couldn't resist) :o)

My money is on a visitor being Cartman's father. Check out my 22 clues in each of my posts entitled, "List of clues to who Cartman's father is". If it's not a visitor, then Stan's Grandpa would be my second choice since he had claimed to have humped Mrs. Cartman in Death and his video of Kenny getting run over by a train had beaten out Cartman's tea party video at America's Stupidest Home Videos possibly to avoid having his "son" face further humiliation on national TV. Also, the guy playing the banjo at the Drunken Barn Dance looks a lot like Stan's Grandpa only a bit younger looking. The only problem with this theory is that he wasn't in the room with the other suspected "dads" unless he's the one who winds up shooting Mephesto. Who knows? On April 22, everybody will know unless Comedy Central is jerking us fans around again.

seek help I'm sure theres a hotline you can call ,or something

It's a Star Wars reference!!!! I was just poking fun at the remark Lee said about Memphesto. He said (and I quote): "Too old he is." I couldn't let that one get by without a Yoda quote, and I'm pretty sure Lee got a kick out of it.

I think there is  a clue that all the stuff about Cartman's dad is B.S
      First clue:
        Look at the episode that aired a week before "Cartman's Mom is a Dirty
Slut" That was The "Mecha Streisand" episode. The celeberty they were making
fun of was Barbara Streisand.
     That leaves us a clue.
                  Barbara Streisand's initianls are B.S
                       B.S could mean something here.
          It could mean you might be B.Ssed into something that might happen.

2 months later we find Cartman's Mom is really his dad. That could be a bunch of B.S

Who could Kenny be Cartman's father if they're the same age?

KILTACKY wrote in article ...

I came up with a slightly esoteric explanation of this. <clears throat>

All right. Let's zoom back to the Drunken Barn dance. There's a man somewhere in there, who we never saw, but who had sex with Mrs. Cartman (who didn't?), and impregnated her. Later, when he was driving home drunk, his car crashed. He was killed. Shortly thereafter, he was reborn as Kenny.

Flash forward a few years. Kenny wanders back into town after returning from his most recent death, while the testing is still going on. He hears two people gossiping about the DNA testing, and he is suddenly reminded of some flashbacks he'd been having about the Drunken Barn Dance. On a hunch, he goes to Mephesto's genetic engineering ranch, tells Mephesto about the flashbacks, and gets himself tested. Oddly, his DNA as Kenny is identical to the DNA of his previous incarnation. Boom, there you go, Kenny's the father.

I know, I know, we didn't see Kenny in the room at the end. Simple. He was hiding behind a potted plant or something, waiting for the name to be read.

There's my theory on how it could be possible.

Alyssa

Alyssa wrote:

That's the dumbest thing I ever HEARD. . . . On the other hand, how can I possibly criticize your idea when "South Park" has fuzzy logic to begin with?

On 19 Apr 1998 23:33:10 GMT, [email] (LEESPAM2) wrote:

<snip>

Go back to Cliffhanger at 17:56. Just before the reading of the winner for America's Stupidest Home Videos, you have a wide show of the three kids. In the upper right hand corner you can see a painting. On the painting are Cartman wearing a suprised expression, and someone with standard-sized legs (ie: not Chef or Ned) stading next to him. You only can see the legs, but they are most similar to Officer Barbredi.

LEESPAM2 wrote in message +ADw-1998041923331000.TAA11123+AEA-ladder01.news.aol.com+AD4-... +AD4-I know some things that'll solve some problems... +AD4- +AD4-PRIMARY FATHER SUSPECTS: +AD4- +AD4-Visitor +AD4-Man in Green +AD4-Stan's Grampa +AD4-Kenny +AD4- +AD4-Okay, let me clear up a things here. All of these people here say stuff like, +AD4AIg-Hey, I think it's Kitty because he slept with Mrs. Cartman+ACEAIg-

Any of +ACI-those people+ACI- who think it's kitty are morons who didn't catch the dildo joke........