This is my first fanfic. I'm a bit nervous. Enjoy! :)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
{Classroom}
Stan: Dude, did you see Godzilla? Cartman: Yeah! That movie was sweet! What did you think Kenny? Kenny: Mpph Mppphp Mmmmm mph mpph! (I'm hungry for worms) Kyle: What? Cartman: Two things: The worm guy in the movie and his family is poor! (Kenny hits Cartman) Cartman: OW! Mr. Garrison: Children, children. Today we're taking the greatest field trip. Kyle: You mean (pause) Las Vegas? Mr. Garrison: No, you little twerp. The zoo! Cartman: D*** it! (Cartman hits his desk so hard he goes flying toward and cracks the chalkboard. Mr. Garrison: Well that was uncalled for. (Mr. Garrison picks up Cartman and puts him at his desk. He then gets a drawing board and a marker) Mr. Garrison: Who can tell me the animals we might see in the zoo? (Stan raises his hand) Stan: Lions, tigers, and bears. Mr. Garrison: Oh my. (Mr. Garrison writes down "Lions, tigers, and bears. Oh my") Mr. Garrison: Oops! Sorry! (Mr. Garrison erases the "oh my" part and the chalkboard collapses all over him) Kenny: Mppph Mph Mpph! Mpph Mpppph mph mpppph! (Oh my gosh! They killed Mr. Garrison) Kyle: You b*st*rds! Mr. Garrison: Uhhhhhhhhhh! Help me! (Chef enters the room and sees Mr. Garrison and is about to puke) Chef: Hold on! I'll get help! {Outside the school} (We see an ambulance and doctors putting Mr. Garrison in it and he's screaming) Doctor: Stop the screaming or I'll mess up your IV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Screaming stops, the doctor says "Thank you" and ambulance takes off) Stan: Dude, this probaly means we'll have (pause and scary music sounding like the one from Halloween) a substitute! {School the next day} Cartman: Dude, here comes our substitute. Maybe it'll be another lesbian and I still don't know what a lesbian means! Kenny: Mph Mpph Mpph Mpppph mpph mpppph! (It's when two woman make whoopie) Kyle: Really? That's sick! (Door opens) Stan: Here's the substitute!(Gulping) (Mr. Garrison enters and he's looking like a gangsta) Mr. Garrison: Yo, class! Whole class: Mr. Garrison? Mr. Garrison: Don't call me Mister! It makes me sound old! Stan: But.. Garrison: Shut up! I brought brass knuckles! Kyle: Hey. Where's Mr. Hat? Garrison: I put him away! That puppet is too wussy! (The whole class groans) Garrison: Cheer up! (Garrison takes a brown ballon, blows it up, and adds arms, eyes, a jacket,a band to it, and tapes it to the desk) Garrison: Meet Mr. Poop! Cartman: (Rolling his eyes) It's gonna be a long day! {Cafeteria} Stan: I think that chalkboard messed him up. Kenny: Mppph mpppph mpph mppph mpph! (He's always been messed up) Cartman: Good point. Chef: Hello, children! Kids: Hey, Chef! Chef: Why you so sad? The substitute must be nice! Stan: We don't have a substitute. Garrison's back Chef: WHy that's great! Kyle: No it's not! He was messed up and now he's acting like a gangsta! He prefers to be called "Garrison" than "Mr. Garrison"! He put Mr. Hat away and now he's got a thing called Mr. Poop! (Silence) Chef: Uh, take your lunch! You're holding up the line! (All the kids sigh) {Classroom} (Garrison is in the room with some guy to replace to chalkboard and he's showing him some designs) Guy: Mr. Garrison, we've been through this all day! Isn't there any design you want? Garrison: No. I'll just draw and write on the chalkboard! Guy: But that's vandalism! Besides, how will you erase it? Garrison: Hold on. What did you call me? Guy: Mr. Garrison! (Garrison gets angry, pulls out his brass knuckles, beats the guy up and throws him out the window) {Outside} (Garrison is beating the guy up, and the kids are yelling for the police) Kid: Officer Barbrady! Garrison is beating this guy up! (Silence while Barbrady is staring at Garrison. Garrison has his brass knuckled hand raised into the air and the guy in the other. He's staring at Barbrady and is scared) Barbrady: Keep it moving! (Barbrady drives away and Garrison is still beating up the guy) {Bus stop} Kyle: Dude! I'm not sure I wanna go to school! Cartman: Let's just skip it! Stan: But what about Ms. Crabtree? Kyle: Just say "We're not going to school today, b*tch!" (Bus pulls up) Ok dude! Now! (Bus door opens) Stan: We're not... What the <bleep>? (We see Garrison is in the driver's seat)Garrison: Get on you little turds! Cartman: But where's Ms. Crabtree? Garrison: You'll find out when we get to school! Come on! {Classroom} (The kids enter and see Ms. Crabtree in a cage in the corner eating the bird on her head) Stan: Holy cow, dude! Garrison: Now today we'll be learning sex education! Kyle: But aren't we young to learn that? Garrison: You'll have too ask Mr. Poop! Kyle: (Sighing) Mr. Poop, are we too young to learn that? Mr. Poop: No! You go to Hell! You go to Hell and you die! Garrison: Oh well! (Garrison draws something on the wall which we can't see that makes the children gasp) Stan: Dude! That's real dirty, (smiling) and I like it! Kenny: Mpph mph mph mpph mph! (Look how big they are!) Cartman: Dude! I'd like to lay on those! Kyle: Yeah, but you'll crush the woman. Cartman: I'm gonna break your skull! Wendy: But Stan! (Stan projectilly pukes and it lands on Garrison's pants) Stan: Oh <bleep>! Garrison: WHy you little! (Garrison attacks Stan with brass knuckles) Kenny: Hee hee hee! (Garrison turns to Kenny, beats him up with brass knuckles and impales him on flag pole) Stan: oh my gosh! They killed Kenny! Kyle: You b*st*rd! Garrison: Now you're next, kid! (Ms. Crabtree knocks over a jail bar and it hits Garrison on the head) Garrison: Yes, Billy! You can take apples to school! (He passes out) {Class next day} Cartman: They haven't gotten Kenny off the flag pole yet! (Footsteps are heard) Uh oh! (Door opens and Mr.Garrison comes in with Mr. Hat and looking normal) Stan: Garrison? Mr. Garrison: Please, call me Mr! Whole class: Whew! (Mr. Garrison looks around) Mr. Garrison: Ms. Crabtree in cage, Kenny impaled on flag pole. Weird, but the chalk board still isn't up! Class will be cancelled today, I guess! (The whole class cheers and run out) Ms. Crabtree: Uh, Mr. Garrison. Could you help me? You can see I knocked down one bar, so you know what to do, right? Mr. Garrison: Why sure. (Mr. Garrison picks up the bar and puts it back in it's place and leaves) Ms. Crabtree: COME BACK HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE END
There it was! Hope you enjoyed it! Excuse me for no cursing, but I'll get my butt kicked for writing down curse words!