Here's part 2, bit rushed mind, but I hope you like it.
Pip: Hello chaps, why the long faces?
Kyle: There's no lunch today.
Cartman: Hey Frenchie, why don't you go back to Germany or something.
Kenny: {what?}
Cartman: That's where my mom says French people come from.
Stan: What the hell was she on when she told you that?
Cartman: Crack, like usual.
Kyle: Woah dude! Your mom takes crack?
Cartman: Uh, no, I was just thinking out loud. [voice quietens to a whisper]
Stan: Let's go to my house and watch Terrance and Phillip.
Kyle: Cool.
Kenny: {I have some cool porn}
Cartman: What's that?
Stan: Well your Mom's in it for a start.
Cartman: Oh, cool!
[In Stan's house, sitting on the sofa]
Cartman: Where do you keep all your food Stan?
Stan: In the... [Shelley walks in]
Shelley: What the hell are you doing Stan? I'm gonna tell mom and dad.
Kyle: [under his breath] bitch.
Shelley: What did you say?
Kyle: I said Cartman's mom's a bitch.
Cartman: Ay! The only bitch in this town is your fucked up Jewish mother!
Kyle: [stares at Cartman]
Shelley: Hey you, fat kid, get off my couch.
Cartman: No way, you, you go do some laundry!!
[Shelley clenches her teeth, and hits Cartman, then throws him at Kenny]
Kyle: Oh my god, you killed Kenny!
Stan: You bastard!
Kenny: {No, I'm alright}
Cartman: see, I didn't kill Kenny.
[Suddenly, a meteorite slams through the roof, narrowly missing Cartman, Killing Kenny, in a huge instantaneous fireball. Cartman turns round to look at Kenny, and the clothes on his back have been burnt off]
Kyle: Look, we can see the fat ass of the fatass.
Cartman: Ay!
Stan: Poor Kenny.
Cartman: Shut up, he dies every week. But I shall pray to my God, because he sacrificed Kenny's life for mine.
Kyle: Shut up dude, you don't have a God.
Cartman: Do too!
Stan: Who is it then?
Cartman: It's...ah, screw you guys, I'm going home.
[At Cartman's house, he is sitting on the couch, eating cheesy poofs, watching TV]
Mrs Cartman: Want some more cheesy poofs hun?
Cartman: Yeah I want Cheesy Poofs!
Mrs Cartman: Ok, I'll pop down to the shops to get some. [10 seconds later, and there's a huge bang outside]
Cartman: I wonder what that could be?
TV announcer: This is a newsflash, a woman, presumed to be a hermaphrodite, has just crashed her car on the way to the shops in South Park.
Cartman: Hehe, homosexuals die, they all die.
TV announcer: This just in, the woman has been named as Mrs Cartman, and is now presumed dead in the wreckage
Cartman: [Faints and falls off his seat]
End of part 2
As always, crits/flames welcomed. Regards
Tom Arthur
"I kicked him square in the nuts, and he cried like Nancy Kerrigan." - Cartman