What would Brian Boitano do? - Lyrics included

On 02 Aug 1999 02:07:59 GMT, a date that will echo throughout the ages, [email] (MyBrian) the squirrel-molesting weasal had the following pass through his and/or her trachea:

Man, it's good to know that an American hero will come and stop this Robot King running around! Here in the year 2099, the Robot King is terrorizing our homes and killing innocent people! This has got to end. This Brian Boitano looks like a graceful fighter and I'm sure he will kick some robot arse!

Oh no! The robot king just knocked on my back door! Help me Brian Boitano! You're my only hope!

Funk

P.S.: Brian Boitano does really kick major arse. "What Would Brian Boitano Do?" is one of the greatest songs ever written! It was a tribute to him, IMO.

If you put a million monkeys in a room with a millin typewriters, eventually, one would be able type out the works of Shakespear. While one hasn't come close yet, the monkey nammed Funk did manage to type the following in a fit of rage after not being fed for a week....

I wonder what Brian Boitano thinks of the song.

For those amongst us who don't possess any knowledge of American Olympic achievements (hmm, what could be wrong with us, not knowing such important articles of information...), who in hell is Brian Boitano? I assume he has something to do with ice-skating, although he could equally be an expert bear hunter, as far as his portrayal in the movie is concerned... - Seyton

Somehow, "using his magical fire breath" doesn't sound too feasible in the field of bear hunting... He's apparently an ice skating champion from Canada. I think.

-Edwyn

Too funny. Although I doubt you realize why I'm chuckling.

Kaiju <folks on RSSIF will know, however...>

No, he won the gold for the USA in 1988! I look in up in an almanac, out of curiousity...

I'm sure the people in rec.sport.skating.ice.figure could tell us more...

Funk

But it makes perfect sense in the field of ice skating??

Shut up, fag. Read the message closer next time.

Funk

Yeah, FAG!

Jeez, is Funk still obsessed with me? Man, you thump a guy int your killfile, he's supposed to be out of your life for good, ya know? Now it seems he's letting a few new groups in on his little problem.

Attention ice staking and fantasy games fans, I killfiled "Funk" about a month ago, and he obviously hasn't gotten over it yet. Please ignore anything he writes in regard to me. I'm not the person he would have you think I am, I'm just a SouthPark fan who refuses to play his games with him.

Thanks.
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He also won't take anyone's opinion seriously and will killfile you for petty stuff. He's ego is crushing the UseNet community. But since I don't want to bring flames into innocent groups, I'll end it here. HTH and HAND.

Funk

"��v�" wrote:

This is a wild thought but, perhaps the reason he is "using your name" could be that.....now brace yourself.....he has the SAME NAME as you!!!!! Could that be possible?????? To have 2 people in the world with the name "Dave"??????? Gosh, will wonders ever cease?????

-Toni

If you put a million monkeys in a room with a millin typewriters, eventually, one would be able type out the works of Shakespear. While one hasn't come close yet, the monkey nammed Belphegor did manage to type the following in a fit of rage after not being fed for a week....

He'sa figure skater. I saw him once for my brother's birthday. I guess he was probably pretty good. I don't know too much about figure skating nor do I remember too much of the show.

For lotsa stuff about Brian Boitano, go to http://pages.prodigy.com/BBTano3/ ... I did a lycos search, and I came up with this page.

Here's the full lyrics of What Would Brian Boitano Do from DVDA and the SP boys from canniballovers.com

WHAT WOULD BRIAN BOITANO DO? PT II Performed by D.V.D.A.(Matt Stone & Trey Parker)

What would Brian Boitano do If he was here right now? He'd make a plan and he'd follow through That's what Brian Boitano do

When Brian Boitano was in the Olypmics Skating for the gold He did two sowcows a triple lutz Wearing a blindfold

When Brian Boitano was in the Alps Fighting grizzly bears He used his magical fire breath To save the maidens fair

So what would Brian Boitano do If he was here today I'm sure he'd kick an arse or two That's what Brian Boitano do

When Brian Boitano traveled in time To the year 3010 He fought the evil robot king And saved us all again

And when Brian Boitano built the Pyramids He beat up Kublai Kahn Cuz Brian Boitano doesn't take shit

o...... kay .......

Brian Boitano won the men's figure skating title in the Calgary Olympics (date?) and has at least one world championship to his name. He then turned professional and proceeded to win virtually every competition he entered for a number of years, primarily by virtue of the power and consistency of his jumps. The Calgary competition, in which he edged the Canadian champion, Brian Orser, was one of the most thoroughly hyped men's figure skating championships ever (maybe THE most ...) and kept being referred to by the TV network as "the battle of the Brians". Boitano regained his "amateur" status in order to compete in the Lillehammar Olympics, and although he managed to come in second in the US championships, he finished out of the medals at the Olympics. (It's no longer possible to regain your amateur status ..... it was a brief experiment that the skating folks have since abandoned).

janet

In article , [email] (HILL JANET SWAN) wrote:

Make that two. He won in '86, too.

Much to the consternation of those of us who think there's more to skating than jumps. :-)

Hope you all appreciate Janet's brief little bio...

For those of us who are fans of Brian Orser, of course (like me), the way some of Boitano's fans worship at his altar has always been a bone of contention. I refer to them as the "Boitano Borg" because they are always trying to assimilate the fans of other skaters..."Resistance is futile."

Then again, someone did write a rather funny song about Brian Orser, too, although it wasn't in the South Park movie. "If I were Brian Orser/My hair would be much coarser..." (If you've ever seen his head, you'd get this--he's got lush curls, while the vast majority of North American male skaters suffer from male-pattern baldness.)

Trudi

<sigh> I knew it was only a matter of time...

Kaiju

HILL JANET SWAN wrote in message ...

It was 1988. I remember it well. I was living in Edmonton, Alberta at the time and recall all the hype. Elizabeth Manley was plastered all over the newspapers and was the happiest silver medallist I've ever seen.

Kelly

In article , [email] wrote:

the movie.

except

everything in

It was made to help appease the gay community, a community of which takes a lot of flack from two supposedly straight producers.

Funkidelic wrote:

The truth is that those of us on r.s.s.i.f. don't care. Now that you've gotten your question answered, perhaps you could carry on with your fighting somewhere else? please? (that is, remove r.s.s.i.f. from the addresses) If there are other skating questions you have, we'll be happy to be of help.

janet

In article , [email] (Funk) writes:

Sorry. Brian Boitano isn't scheduled to arrive until the year 3010. Hang in there!

Jeremy B "Oh, to be young again. And also a robot." -- Prof. Hubert Farnsworth WWBBD?