The Wisdom of South Park
On Christopher Columbus: "He helped the Indians win their war against Frederick Douglass and freed the Hebrews from Napoleon and discovered France and then in 1492 Columbus started a restaurant which was sort of a family-oriented restaurant...." - Mr. Hat
On Eugenics: "Genetic engineering lets us correct Gods horrible, horrible mistakes - like German people." - Mr. Hat
On Rainbows: "Youll just be sitting there minding your own business, and theyll come, marching in and crawl up your leg and start biting the inside of your ass." - Cartman
On Space Travel: "Engelbert Humperdinck was the first person on the moon. Who was the second?" - Mr. Hat
On Man: "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people." - Mr. Garrison
On Human Sexuality: "Gay people are evil - evil right down to their cold black hearts, which pump, not blood like yours and mine, but rather a thick vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains, which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior." - Mr. Garrison
On Eastern Culture: "Asian culture has plagued our fragile earth for many years. We must end it." - Stan
On Athletes: "We treat star athletes better because they are better people." - Mr. Garrison
On Television: "Throughout history there have always been shows that have come and gone that have been very bad. Usually they get taken right off the air. You see, you should be spending your time enlightening your mind with more intelligent entertainment." - Mr. Garrison
Victoria DeSilverio
======================== If a billion people believe in a stupid idea, it is still stupid.
Yo soy El Gato Gordo