"Heh-heh, Rob Schneider was an animal. Then he was a woman. And now, Rob Schneider is -- A STAPLER! And he's about to find out -- that being a stapler -- is harder than it looks! Rob Schneider is -- THE STAPLER! Rated PG-13."
"Heh-heh, Rob Schneider is a Wall Street executive, with everything going for him. Only problem is -- he's about to become -- A CARROT! ('I'm a carrot!') It's 24-carrot comedy! Rob Schneider is -- A CARROT! Rated PG-13."
"Heh-heh, Rob Schneider, derp dee derp! Derp dee derpittee derpee derp! Until one day, a derpa derpa durba derp! Derp dee derp, -- ! -- da teetley tum! ('Whoooaaaa! Whoa!') From the creators of -- DER -- and -- 'TUM TA TITTALY TUM TERPA DERP' [sic], Rob Schneider is -- DA DERP DEE DERP DA TEETLEY DERPEE DERPEE DUMB. Rated PG-13."
"Heh-heh, Rob Schneider is a somewhat popular comedic actor, who seemed to have it all -- until one day, he came across -- A POT ROAST! And his life changed forever. Now he's sharing his body with an 8-year old boy. And he's about to find out -- that being eight -- ain't so great! Rob Schneider is -- KENNY! Rated PG-13."