Matt and Trey Lawsuit - A (maybe real) fanfic by Andrew Cameron (Tags)
NOTE: I don't know much about courts and stuff so I'll concentrate not on getting the right names for people's jobs, but making it funny.
[Matt and Trey's house(!)]
Phone rings. Matt answers.
Matt: Uh, hello? Lawyer: Hello. I represent the legal power of the company known as Spumco, and we intend to sue you for infringement of copyright. Matt: Um, er, Trey! Trey(in the background): What? Matt: You better come here a minute! Matt(into phone): And who, exactly is this? Johnny Cochran: Johnny Cochran. Matt: Oh. Well that's alright, we'll get my Dad to be our lawyer! Trey: What are you talking about lawyers for? Matt: We're being sued because of...(into phone)...why are we being sued? Johnny: For infringement of copyright on a certain character of my clients' creation. Matt: For infringement of copyright on a certain character of his clients' creation. Trey: Oh. Johnny: This character of my clients' goes by the name of "Nutty the friendly dump". We feel that the character of your creation, a "Mr Hankey", bears extreme similarities to the aforementioned "Nutty". Trey: Gimme the phone, Matt. Matt: Trey! No. Trey: Come on dude, you trust me don't you? Matt: Well, yeah sure I do! Trey: OK then, give me the phone! Matt hands the phone to Trey. Trey: OK. You <bleep><bleep><bleep><bleep>ing <bleep><bleep>! Get the <bleep><bleep> of <bleep><bleep> lawsuit off of our <bleep>ing backs, you got that you <bleep><bleep><bleep><bleep><bleep><bleep><bleep><bleep><bleep>? Johnny: This phone call is being recorded. Matt: He didn't mean that. Trey: Yeah I did! Matt: That's Johnny Cochran you're talking to there! Trey: It is? Oh <bleep>. Johnny: See you in court. <CLICK>
[Court]
Court Official: On the prosecution we have the company known as "Spumco", represented by Johnny Cochran. On the defence we have Trey Parker and Matt Stone, represented by Matt's Dad. Matt's Dad: Oh. Matt: What's wrong? M.D: That's Johnny Cochran. Trey: And? M.D: That's the guy that got O.J off! Trey: Oh. Court Official: Prosecution, please state your case. Johnny: Well your honour, we feel that these two gentlemen over here have created a character, and indeed a certain show, which infringes copyright of my clients' show. Let me specify. They both created a character which is a talking piece of s<bleep>t. M.D: Objection your honour! Judge: What? M.D: You can't say s<bleep>t in court! Matt: Dad! Judge: Objection over-ruled! M.D: Dammit! Judge: I heard that. The prosecution may proceed. Johnny: Thank you, your honour. Now as I was saying - ChewBacca. Trey: I've seen this before, he uses the ChewBacca defence and wins! Matt: Thank you very much Trey, now you've just ruined it for all of the lovely readers! Trey: Oh. Judge: Oh, Johnny, shut the hell up! South Park is a kick ass show, and anyone who thinks otherwise should be shot, but not after having every nail on their body removed with a rusty screwdriver. Now, Spumco, whatever your names are, get your asses over here! Mr Parker, would you care to give these boys a spanking? Trey: Umm, well, not....really. Judge: Oh well, I guess I'll have to then. Johnny: Well that sucked ass. But, you know, I think I've learned something today. Trey and Matt look at him strangely. Johnny: This was a damn short fanfic, it used other people's ideas, and it sucked. But you know what? Andrew Cameron released it anyway! He went ahead with a fanfic that sucked... Me: AY! Johnny: ...and he knows. You can't win all of the time, because if you did... Trey: You'd be a top-class lawyer? Johnny: Yes........wait a minute! AY!
[The end] (Bet you're glad! That was one of the worst 'fics I've ever seen!)
It sucked, huh? Well, I had to try.