Thanks for the replies y'all! Here's part 2 (probably of 3 parts).
The Wizard of SP - Act II
(Scene is Minchkun village. Two minchkuns are shoveling up the remains of the Wicked Bitch, er, Witch of the East-Northeast.)
Minchkun 1: Damn, did that fat-ass have to squash her so flat? (lifts a shovel full of bitch, er, witch goo) This is so gross!
Minchkun 2: Look at it this way, would you rather be shoveling this crap or be getting zapped by that bitch, er, witch?
Minchkun 1: Well, when you put it that way I'd <zap> (Minchkun 1 disappears in a puff of smoke.)
Minchkun 2: What the f**k?!?! (looks around, sees a bitch, er, witch flying on a broomstick overhead. She looks an awful lot like Stan's sister Shelly, headgear and all.) THE WICKED BITCH OF THE WEST-SOUTHWEST!! <zap>
Shelly (WB,er,WWSW): (blows smoke from her finger) I'm not a bitsch! Now where are my shishter'sh birkenshtocksh?! WHO HAS MY SHISHTER'SH BIRKENSHTOCKSH?!?!
(A minchkun pops it's head up from behind a bush.)
Minchkun 3: Some fat-ass kid took them! He went to see the Wizard! <zap>
Shelly (WB, er,WWSW): Little bashtard! I'll get that kid! (Flies off.)
(Scene change. Cartman is walking down the red-brick road, humming to himself as he approaches the remains of a small, burned out village. The place looks as if there was a recent riot, small fires still burning, an effigy made of bundles of sticks, resembling Stan, is hanging from a tree, looking somewhat singed. The head of Effigy Stan follows Cartman's movement.)
Eric: Kewl! It looks like Vietnam! (notices Effigy Stan) What the hell is that? (grabs a stick and starts poking at Effigy Stan.)
Effigy Stan: Hey, cut it out fat-ass!
Eric: Holy s**t! A talking stick man!
E. Stan: That's effigy to you, fat boy! Now get me down!
Eric: Ay! I'm not fat, I'm "pleasantly plump", my mom said so! And why the hell should I help you, you damn faggot bundle of sticks?!
E. Stan: Well, you do look kinda hungry there, lard ass. I MIGHT know where you could find some food, if you cut me down from here.
Eric: AY! I SAID I WASN'T ... did you say food? I am kinda hungry. (Cuts down Effigy Stan.) Now where's that food?
E. Stan: How the hell should I know? I'm an effigy, I don't need to eat.
Eric: WHA?!? Goddammit, I get nothing but crap from people in this damn place! I gotta get to the Wizard and get back home!
E. Stan: You're going to see the Wizard? Cool dude, can I come? I need some fire-retardent, damn protesters keep trying to set me on fire ...
Eric: HELL NO!!! (starts wlking away)
E. Stan: (starts following Cartman) Fine, but I bet you can't lose me, you lame fat-ass.
Eric: (starts running) Oh yeah?! I'll show ... you ... who <gasp> (Cartman collapses) OK <gasp> you can <wheeze> come along. <pant>
(Scene change, the Aquamarine City. Shelly, the Wicked Bitch, er, Witch of the West-Southwest is standing in front of the giant Wizard Statue.)
Shelly (WB, er,WWSW): Where'sh the fat-ash kid, Wishard? I know he wash coming to shee you, and I didn't shee him on the yellow-brick road, sho he musht be here!
Wizard: THERE IS NO FAT-ASS KID HERE BITCH, ER, WITCH!
Shelly (WB, er,WWSW): I'M NOT A BITSCH! <zaps statue, with no effect> I know he'sh here! (looks around) He musht be hiding behind that curtain! (moves toward the curtain)
Wizard: WHAT? NO, HE ISN'T! PAY NO ATTENTION TO (Shelly opens the curtain, sees the Wizard of Zo speaking into a microphone) THE MAN BEHIND THE CURT ... (the wizard notices Shelly standing by the open curtain) Oh crap. <zap> (the Wizard vanishes in a puff of smoke.)
Shelly (WB, er,WWSW): Hmm, no birkenshtocksh. I guesh that little guy wash telling the truth. I'll jusht have to shend my flying minionsh out to shcour the countryshide.
(scene change. Cartman and E. Stan are walking down the red-brick road and come upon a metal statue that resembles Kyle.)
Eric: ... and I said, "Hey, you, wicked bitch, I'll kick you skwar in the nuts!", and she was so scared she just dropped dead.
E. Stan: (mutters) She was probably scared you'd swallow her whole.
Eric: Huh? What'd you say?
E. Stan: Oh, I said, "What the hell's that thing by the side of the road?".
Eric: Looks like some kind of statue.
Iron Man Kyle: Actually, I am the Iron Man. (first five notes of Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" play.)
Eric: (jumps back) Dammit! Does everyhting in this place come to life when you talk about it?! The sooner I find the Wizard and get home, the better! This place sucks!
I.M. Kyle: The Wizard? Mind if I come along? I've been getting a bit rusty lately and could really used a nice chrome plating.
Eric: (in a sarcastic tone) Oh sure. Why not? The more the merrier! Why, maybe this tree would like to come along too? How about it Mr. Tree?
Tree: (a face appears in the bark) No thanks, I'm fine right here.
Eric: AAAAHHHH!!! GETMETHEHELLOUTTATHISPLACE! (moves quickly down the road, arms flailing)
I.M. Kyle: Dude, is he always like this?
E. Stan: Pretty much.
I.M. Kyle: What a lame fat-ass! (E. Stan and I.M. Kyle move on down the road.)
(scene change, outside and old castle, lightning flashes in the air. View zooms in to a castle window and stops with a close-up on Shelly.)
Shelly (WB, er, WWSW): OK my flying minionsh, I want you to shearch the countryshide for a fat-ash kid wearing cubic zirconian birkenshtocksh. When you find him, bring him to me!
(view changes to show Shelly's flying minions, a bunch of winged pot-bellied pigs with Mr. Garrison's face <sorry, but I loved that ep, and it seemed so fitting for this one>. They all squeal and fly out the window.)
(scene change, Cartman, E. Stan and I.M. Kyle are still walking down the road)
Eric: This road goes on forever! I've got to rest. (sits down)
I.M. Kyle: Dude, we've only gone 50 feet!
Eric: DAMMIT! I'MHUNGRYANDTIREDANDIWANTSOMEFOOD!
(the bush next to Cartman moves as a cat, resembling Kenny (fluffy fur on head makes only eyes visible, whiskers droop straight down, looking like the tassles on Kenny's jacket), jumps straight up, spraying a yellowish liquid all over I.M. Kyle.)
I.M. Kyle: Gross, dude! This is going to rust for sure! (starts cleaning himself off)
Scaredy-Cat Kenny: Mmph-hmph-mm...Hmmph-mm-phmph-hmm? ("Don't kill me, don't ... uh, did you say food? Meow.")
Eric: YESISAIDFOODCAUSEI'MHUNGRYAND ... (S.C. Kenny jumps at Cartman's yelling, soaking E. Stan in the same yellowish fluid)
E. Stan: Gross! You scared the piss out of that cat, dude!
Eric: Huh? (notices cat for the first time) Oh great, let me guess. You want to come see the Wizard too, right? What do you want from him, a bag of catnip?
S.C. Kenny: Mm-phmph-hmm-pht-mmph. ("No, I want some Depends and a big, smelly fish.")
E. Stan: (still cleaning himself off) I can understand the Depends, dude, but why do you want a big, smelly fish?
S.C. Kenny: Mmm-phm-hmph-mm-mmph. (No translation given, you figure it out.)
(Cartman, E. Stan and I.M. Kyle laugh)
I.M. Kyle: Sick, dude!
E. Stan: Totally!
Eric: OK kitty, you can come along. Heh-heh-heh, big, smelly fish, that's pretty funny.
(Cartman, E. Stan, I.M. Kyle and S.C. Kenny start moving down the road towards the "Wizard" (?))
END PART II
Well, y'all, still standing up to your expectations? Let me know. There should just be one more part to this fic. Depending on how my job hunting goes (just moved and still looking for work), I may finish it in the next couple of days. We'll see.