I Know What You Did Last Week by Andi
(I decided to get rid of Julia and just stick with Jake and Nora as my characters. Nora will be Ned's niece instead of Julia now, okay?) (warning + theme song)
(a skinny brunette man with a mustache and small beard is shown standing next to a copy machine) Tom: This is the Tom Bean Show, it's not the Bean Tom Show, this is my favorite show, because it is my show, it's the Tom Bean Show! (Tom is next shown sitting at a desk in a studio. A cardboard cut-out of a person is in the chair next to him.) Tom: Ben, quit your job! (audience laughs) Tom: Phone companies suck, Ben! (audience laughs) Tom: Now, let's see how people respond to rollerskating pork! Roll the tape! (Screen reads 'Who you calling Porky?') (Tom is shown dressed as a giant slice of pork standing on a sidewalk outside somewhere, wearing rollerblades and chasing people) Tom: I am the great Cornholio! (the image zooms to show it is on a TV. Nora is sitting on a couch, watching it, looking bored, frustrated, and annoyed at the same time.) Nora: MOM! Dad's making an ass out of himself on public television again! (Mrs.Bean enters the living room and looks at the TV.) Tom(on TV): I am the evil porkchop! Fear my wrath! Aaaaargh! (the people he is chasing either flip him off, beat him off, or run away crying) Mrs.Bean: Well, dear, it's the only way he can make money after we had to move from California. (glances at TV again) I just hope the dogs don't-- (there's a loud crash from the TV, with lots of barking. We hear Tom scream. Mrs.Bean and Nora wince in unison as they watch.) Mrs.Bean(cont.): --Get to him. Nora: That's gotta hurt.
(Mr.Garrison's class) Mr.G: I hope we all did our reports on your favorite musical performer's lives.
(groans are heard) Mr.Hat: Are you little bastards unprepared, again?! Mr.G: Clyde, you can go first. Clyde: Okay. (he walks to the front of the class, and reads in a stiff voice off of his paper) Clyde: Elvis lives in our hearts, our minds... And, in a trailer park in Ohio. (class applauds dully) Clyde: Thank you. (he sits back down) (Mr.Garrison stares) Mr.Hat: Okay, er, Nora. (Nora walks up, rolling her eyes) Nora: (racking her mind) Uh.. Hanson is a group of blonde girls. Taylor is the prettiest one, I hope I can get alot of boyfriends like her when I'm 12. She wears the coolest pink lip gloss ((Author's Note: Hanson really does wear pink lip gloss! Scary, yet not surprising)) and eyeshadow. I hope I can be exactly like her.. Wait. No I don't. (Nora sits back down) Mr.Garrison: F! Nora: (shrugs) As if I didn't see that one coming a million miles away. Mr.Garrison: Eric, you're next. Cartman: Aww! Seriously, Mr. Garrison, do ah hafta? Mr.Hat: Yes you do, you fat, stupid turd. Now get the Hell up there before I get mad. (Cartman waddles--) Cartman: AY! (I mean, walks, to the front of the room. He holds back arms behind his back and begins.) Kyle: Fat-ass couldn't get both arms behind his back! (Yeah, I guess you have a point. Um, he just walks to the front of the room. Cause he's too fat to do anything else.) Stan: Yeah! Cartman: Shut the f*bleep*ck up, you stupid hippie writer! Mr.Garrison: Go ahead, Eric. Cartman: Uh.. I did my report on.. The Barenaked Ladies. Kenny bought the CD cause he thought it had pictures of naked chicks in the CD booklet, but it didn't. They're a bunch of guys who sing about chinese chicken. The end. Mr.Hat: You get an F as well. Cartman: What! Why?! Mr.Garrison: For lying. Kenny couldn't have bought the CD, his family is poor. (Kenny shrugs) Kenny: Mmmph rmmf mmmf mmmmp. Stan: What's a five finger discount? (Bebe starts to count on her fingers) Cartman: (walking back to his desk) God, I hate you, Kenny. Nora: Stupid-ass! Cartman: Shut up, bitch! (Um, Nora, that wasn't your line.) Nora: So what? Can't a girl ad-lib a little? Cartman: Eh, here she goes again, about her coffee. Nora: NOT COFFEE, YOU DUMB F*bleep*CK!! FRAPPACHINOS!! (dreamy look) Vanilla.. FRAPPICHINOS.. Tweek: No, coffee!! Kyle: Cartman! Now look what you've done! (Nora is going into psycho-bitch mode, and she stares angrily at Cartman now) Cartman: Crappichinos.. Suck. (a hushed silence falls over the room) Wendy: What? Kenny: Mmmph? Nora: WHAT?!? Stan: I'm guessing that was the wrong thing to say, dude. (Everyone expects Nora to flip out and beat Cartman up, but, instead, she calms down and smiles wickedly) Nora: I know what you did last week.
To Be Continued..
~*~AnDi~*~ "T.. T is for turtle!" "Damn the smurfs! Damn ALLLL THE SMURFS!!" "Your sticks and stones can break my bones, but my words will drive you insane." "Dude.. I AM your father." "NOOO!"