This is my first attempt at a fanfic. It is pretty short and I must warn you that it concerns the Nazis and the Jews. If this troubles you, please do not read. I would love any suggestions or comments or complaints, just don't flame me cause it is twisted.
<<<<<<"Cartman's Mom is a dirty ... Nazi?!?">>>>>>>
<Setting: The SP four are at the bus stop waiting for the bus. All four have their lunches in brown paper bags. Kenny's is a brown bag from the liquor store. Cartman's is roughly the size of a small suitcase.>
Stan (looking in his bag): Dude, I am so sick of the same thing every day for lunch.
Kyle: Yeah, dude, my mom always packs me the same crap, too. What did you bring, Kenny?
Kenny: Mmph mmph. (A brick)
Cartman: Kenny's a poor bastard.
Stan: Hey, cartman, you always have a huge lunch. How can your mom afford to feed your fat ass?
Kenny: Mmmph, mmphmmph mmph mmph mmph mmph mmph mmph mmphmmmph (yeah, dirty crack whores can't make that much money.)
Cartman: Shut up! And I'm not fat, I'm big boned. I don't know, we've always had lots of money.
<The bus pulls up.>
Mrs. Crabtree: All right you little creeps, get you asses in here.
Stan: Go to hell, you stupid slut.
Mrs. Crabtree: What did you say?!
Stan: I said I could smell your skanky butt.
Mrs. Crabtree: Oh, okay.
<In the classroom:>
Mr. G: All right class, today we're going to study the world at war, starting with the reign of that evil man, Adolf Hitler
Cartman: Sieg Heil!
Mr. G: Now Cartman, you know the rules of my class. No nazi, fascist, or homosexual propaganda allowed.
Mr. Hat: That's right, Mr. Garrison, homosexuals are evil.
Kyle: But Mr. Garrison, I thought you were...
Mr. G: Now class, how many of you have been watching TV lately?
Kenny: Mmph mmph mmphmmph mmph mmph mmph mmph mmphmmph mmphmmph (We can't afford a TV you stupid fag)
Mr. G: Okay, besides Kenny?
<The whole class raises their hands.>
Mr. G: Who can tell me what is going on with the Swiss banks withholding the money of the Jews that were in the Nazi prison camps?
<Extended pause. Finally Kyle raises his hand.>
Mr. G: Yes, Kyle.
Kyle: Uh..the Swiss banks are withholding the money of the Jews that were in the Nazi prison camps?
Mr. G: That's right, Kyle.
Cartman (murmuring): Of course, the stupid Jew knew that one.
Mr. Hat: Eric, why do you say such things?
Mr. G: That's right Mr. Hat. Eric, don't you know Nazis are bad?
Cartman: No way. My mom told me that Jews are dirty bastards.
Mr. G: Class, I would like for you all to go home tonight and find out all that you can about the Nazis. And Eric...
Cartman: Yes.
Mr. G: Be nice to the Jews.
Cartman: Sieg Heil!
<At Kyle's house>
Kyle: Mom, Mr. Garrison said that some of the Jews lost their money during the war. Is that true?
Kyle's Mom: That's right, Kyle. Those dirty Nazi pigs took all of our family's treasures and we are having a terrible time trying to recover them from the Swiss banks.
Kyle: Why?
KM (going into one of her rants): You're right, dear. We must reclaim the lost treasures of our people who have been persecuted all these years. We will march on Switzerland!
Kyle: Um...Ok. I'm gonna go watch "She's the sherriff"
<<<At the Swiss Embassy>>>
Reporter with the monkey: We are here in front of the Swiss Embassy to cover this breaking story. Apparently some concerned Jewish citizens have reconstructed a Nazi gas chamber and are ritually gassing themselves until their stolen money is returned.
<Close up of gas chamber. Gory mess of feces and vomit along with dead bodies cover the floor. Kyle's Mom is out front leading the people in. The SP four are congregating near the chamber>
Kyle: Dude, this is too weird.
Cartman: Yeah, your mom is one twisted bitch.
Kyle: Shut up, fat ass. At least she's not on the cover of Crack Whore magazine.
Cartman: I told you, my mom was never...
<Stan pulls the magazine recovered from the Halloween episode out of his pocket and shows it to Cartman>
Cartman: ... ... Go to hell, you guys.
<Kenny is jumping up and down, holding his ass>
Stan: Jesus, Kenny, I figured dying would cure you of that explosive diarrhea.
<Kenny stares at him blankly then runs to the Port-O-Pots. Seeing the huge line, he goes out behind the gas chamber>
Kyle: Hey, guys, did Kenny really eat that brick he took for lunch?
<We hear the sounds of explosive diarrhea, followed by what sounds like a cannon shot. Pan to inside of gas chamber where a feces covered brick comes shooting through the wall. Back to Kenny outside. The gas leaks out of the hole in the wall and instantly consumes Kenny>
Stan: Oh my God, they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards.
<The front doors of the embassy open and out walks the sterotypical Swedish man, with a member of the Swedish bikini team on each arm>
Swedish Man: People, people. We give up. We didn't mind when you were slaying yourselves, but now you've polluted the entire capital of your nation.
<People stare blankly>
SM: Oh, right, too late. Anyway we have decided to disclose where all of your money has gone.
<Crowd cheers. The gas is still seeping out and spreading through the crowd, killing people left and right.>
SM: It is all in the personal account of one ....... Mrs. Cartman.
<Crowd gasps>
Cartman (in awe): Sieg Heil.
Kyle's Mom: We must reclaim our money! To the Cartman house!
<Pan out, Kyle's mom is the only person in the crowd left alive>
Kyle's Mom: Oh dear. Nevermind.
<Back to the SP four (minus one)>
Kyle: I guessed we learned an important lesson today.
Stan: Yeah, Cartman's mom did the entire Nazi party and got all their money.
Kyle: Hey Cartman, did Adolf's mustache tickle your mom's little man?
Cartman (in a rage): I'm ... going ... to ... kill ... you.
<Stan and Kyle laugh.>
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<The End>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I told you it was short. I got the idea and wrote it all within an hour. Please make any suggestions that may extend the story.
RS