Temporary FAQ

Dec 14, 19989 posts by 5 posters
9 posts
Dan

Ok I know that there is already an FAQ but I'm sure you'll all agree that it is very old and out of date. So I Emailed Mike Howg the bloke who made the old FAQ and he never replied, so I asumed that he had no intrest in maintaing the faq. Meaning that the slot was open for an faq writer kinda guy(ie me) so I have started this lets call it a temporary faq(still waiting for Mike Howg or anyone else to say no your cant or something similar?!?). Alright then I was thinking that an FAQ is for the whole news group to use therefore the whole newgroup should write it, right? (did I hear a yes I suppose so, from the back) Ok then I suggest people Email me with there contributions(as to not stuff up the NG with faq posts) to the below FAQ, then I will compile them and post a testing sorta beta version. Mmkay here it is so far....

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0.0] Disclaimer *----------------------------------------------------------------------* This document may NOT be sold for money. If you see someone trying to sell this FAQ then contact me and I will send it to you for FREE. I would also like to point out that I am in NO WAY affiliated with Comedy Central or the creators of South Park. This is an UNOFFICIAL South Park FAQ and is not the property of Comedy Central or the creators of South Park. All copyrighted names belong to their respective owners. *----------------------------------------------------------------------*

[0.1] Content

[1.0] The history of southpark. [2.0] Episode Name And Numbers. [3.0] Major Characters. [3.1] Minor Characters. [3.2] Quotes [4.0] Kennys Deaths. [5.0] Song Words. [6.0] Southpark Stuff. [6.1] Merchendise. [6.2] The Game [6.3] The Movie. [6.4]The Album [7.0]

[1.0] The history of South Park

South Park is a cartoon show that was created by Matt Stone and Trey Parker. The first ever South Park episode was called The Spirit of Christmas and it was originally intended to be a video Christmas card for some friends. It has now turned into a VERY popular and funny television show on Comedy Central. Even though The Spirit of Christmas episode wasn't released on television, many people have downloaded it off the Internet, and I think that its well worth it, the episode is only a few minutes long but it's very funny. The show is different to most other animated cartoons. It doesn't use the traditional methods of animation. Characters look like flat pieces of cardboard that sort of slide across your tv screen when they walk. It isn't the most expensive cartoon ever made but it's sure as hell the funniest. Matt Stone and Trey Parker do the voices for the characters in South Park, Trey Parker does Stan and Cartman, Matt Stone voices Kyle and Kenny and one woman does all the voices for the women/girls of south park(don't know her name), and they also do a lot of the music. There have also been quite a few cameo appearences [see section--] by celebrities in South Park. Although, if you read the disclaimer at the start of the show it says that "All celebrity voices are impersonated...badly"[see section --]. Don't let that get you down though, because the impersonations are great!

[2.0] Episode Name And Numbers

The episodes are numbered Season1 or 2 and then number *NOT* 1 hundred and then the number.

#   : The Spirit of Christmas.��
#101: Cartman gets an anal probe
#102: Weight Gain 4000
#103: The Volcano
#104: Big Gay Al's Big Boat Ride
#105: An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig
#106: Death
#107: Pinkeye
#108: Damien
#109: Starvin Marvin
#   : Leno Skit
#110: Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
#111: Tom's Rhinoplasty
#112: Mecha Streisand
#113: Cartman's Mom Is A Dirty Slut

#201: Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut #202: Ikes Bris #203: Chickenlover #204: Conjoined Fetus #205: The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka. #206: Flashback or City on the Edge of Forever #207: Summer Sucks #208: Chef's Salty Chocolate Balls #209: Chicken Pox #210: Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods #211: Clubhouses #212: Cow Days #213: Chef Aid #214: Spooky Fish

[3.0] Major Characters

The four major characters in southpark are Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny. All the episodes involve these four characters in some way. Here is a profile on each on them...

Eric Cartman: He is the "fat kid" the other kids constantly make fun of him because of his weight,but he says "I'm not fat I'm big boned!". He's also the stupid one, who mixes things up, and makes himself look like an idiot. He lives with his hermaphroditic(has male and female genitals) mother, who tries to make him feel better by feeding him "choclate chicken pot pies" and "Cheezy Poofs". Eric owns a cat called Kitty and a pig named Fluffy. Throughout the year he searched to find out who his father was, only to realize that his mother was his father and his mother is unknown. He oftern says "You stupid hippie piece of crap!"

Stan Marsh: He the normal, average-American, mixed-up kid. He dates Wendy Testaburger, but he throws up every time she talks to him. He is the South Park Elementary Cows star Quarterback, has a gay dog named Sparky, and an older sister named Shelly, who beats him senseless. His aging grandfather, also lives with him and continually tries to pressure Stan into killing him. Every episode he announces Kenny's death by saying "Oh my god, they killed Kenny!"

Kyle Brofslovski: He is the smart one. Everyone makes fun of him because he is Jewish. At Christmas he plays with his "imaginary" friend Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo. He owns an elephant and has tried to mate it with Cartman's pig, Fluffy to form a new species of Pot-Bellied Elephants. Each week he announced that Kenny's killers are Bastards.

Kenny McCormac He is the unlucky one. He dies a differnet way in each episode but because its only a cartoon he can come back again every episode without explanation. He is poor and lives in a run-down shack with his poor family and drunk father. He muffles when he speaks to cover up his bad language, and we are left only to guess at what he has said. His face is hidden under his hood and we are yet to see more than his eyes.

[3.1] Minor Characters

These are the characters that are essencial to southpark yet are not the focus of the cartoon, they are still funny and very important.

*  Wendy Testaburger She is the little bitch of the kids. She hates
anyone that tries to take Stan from her. Her best friend is Bebe, and
she is going out with Stan. She is an enviornmentalist and according to
Cartman a tree-hugger.
*  Mr Garrison He is the kids' 3rd grade teacher. He is semi-psycho and
is rumored to    be gay. He has an alter-ego that he expresses through
the use of Mr. Hat (see below). During the second season he received a
nose-job which made him look like David Hasselhoff, and he enjoys
pretending that he is a Vietnam veteran. Lastly he mocks the children
when they fail, partly because of his loss to Kathie Lee Gifford in a
talent contest 25 years ago.
*  Mr Hat Mr. Hat is Mr. Garrison's hand puppet that he uses to express
his negative feelings. Mr. Hat makes Mr. Garrison do terrible things
like attempt to kill Kathie Lee Gifford. During the second season he was
kidnapped and Mr. Garrison replaced him with Mr. Twiggy.
*  Ike Ike is Kyle's little brother. Ike is adopted. He is really
Canadian, hence the moving head like Terrance and Philip. He is often
mistaken for a garbage can. Kyle enjoys kicking Ike, but deep down
inside he loves him and defends him. Catch Phrase: Don't kick the baby!
*  Mrs Broslofski Kyle's mom. She a bitch, plain and simple. She has
something to say about everything. She ruined the towns Christmas by
demanding everything related to Jesus or Santa be taken down. She also
had Terrance and Phillip taken off the air.
*  Chef Chef is the school cafeteria's chef. His real name is Jerome
"Chef" McElroy. He is a big influence on the children. He teaches them
lessons in life and helps them out. He sings songs about sex to explain
to the kids complicated situations. He is a womanizer who firmly belives
in the existence of extraterrestrials (visitors). He coaches the school
sports teams, and he led the dodgeball team to become World Dodgeball
Champions.
*  Mrs Crabtree Mrs. Crabtree is the school bus driver. She is mean,
ugly, foul tempered, and the children will occasionally cuss her out.
Her hearing is bad, and you will constantly hear her shout "What did you
say?!!?" When she drove the bus off a cliff and into an icecream tub she
left and became a star comedian but it was just a dream.
*  Uncle Jimbo He is Stan's uncle who hosts a local television show
called Huntin' & Killin'. His lifelong dream is to be on the cover of
Guns & Ammo. He takes the children on a hunting trip where he reveals
his passion for beer, explosives, and automatic weapons. He is also a
Vietnam Veteran who tells the kids about how he eliminated the entire
Viet Cong army with his lifelong buddy Ned.
*  Mayor She is the mayor of Southpark. She only cares about getting
publicity, and her tries always make her look worse. She is a bad mayor,
and her assistants make all the decisions for her. It is said she is
affiliated with the Japenese Mafia. However, she is thorougly
incompetant, and should not be in office.
*  Jesus The Son of God. Has His own cable access TV show called "Jesus
and Pals." He has beaten Satan in a fight, as well as Santa. When his
ratings fell he changed the format of his show to that of Jerry Springer
and started a ratings-war with Ned & Jimbo's show Huntin' & Killin'.
*  Ned Ned is Jimbo's old war buddy who co-hoss Huntin' & Killin'. He
blew his arm off with a grenade in Vietnam while helping to destroy the
entire Viet Cong army. He also received throat cancer from smoking too
many cigarettes and now must speak with the help of an electrolarynx
(cancer kazoo) During the second season he was put into a catatonic
state when he encountered the Mexican Staring Frog of Souther Sri Lanka.
*  Pip He is the annoying little English kid. He has no friends, and
everybody makes fun of him. He is a wimp, but he is the town's star
dodgeball player. He becomes enraged when called Frenchie, and he wound
up with a cloned foot in his lunch.
*  Mrs Marsh She is Stan's Mother who tries to be a good mom. Little is
known about her, but we do know that she doesn't like Kyle's Mom, Mrs.
Broflovski.
*  Mrs Cartman Always ready to feed Cartman. Helps Cartman reinforce the
idea that he's big boned. She is a Hemaphrodite, so she is actually
Cartman's father. It is unknown who his mother is. But, she is known
throughout town as a dirty-slut who has slept with he majority of the
country. She has also appeared on the cover of Crack Whore Magazine.
*  Shelly Stan's sister. She wears headgear for her teeth, and beats the
crap out of    Stan. Although she doesn't like her litle brother, when
he gets into trouble she sticks up for him and defends him, but in the
end she still runs him over with a lawnmower.
*  Randy Marsh He is Stan's father, and the town's seismologist. He
warns the town of the emininet volcanic eruption. Like his wife little
else has been revealed about him.
*  Big Gay Al Owns "The Big Gay Animal Sanctuary" Helps gay animals find
homes. He teaches the town that being Gay is alright, and not something
to be afraid of or hated.
*  TVs Terrence and Philip. Kids in Southpark all love the terrence and
philips show about farting. This cartoon show was banned by the parents
of southpark because its so discusting.
*  Scuzzlebutt Lord of the mountains; Patrick Duffy for a leg and celery
for an arm; In his spare time he likes to weave wicker baskets. He saves
the children, Ned, and Jimbo from certain death when the volcano that
they are hunting on erupts. But in the end, Stan shoots him to prove his
manhood.
*  Officer Barbrady Clueless police Officer. He is illiterate and
encourages the kids not to read because reading sucks. He is in town to
"Patronize & Annoy", or so his car reads. As stupid as he is, he catches
the Chicken Lover with he help of the kids and Deputy Cartman.
*  Mr Hankey He is the mythical Christmas Poo who visits South Park when
they eat enough fiber. He has no legs, and bounces around leaving shit-
stains wherever he lands. He wears a little Santa hat and cries Howdy
Ho.
*  Maphesto He is South Park's resident Genetic Engineer and runs the
Genetic Engineering Ranch. His strange experiments lead to weird
creatures like the four-assed monkey. His crazy, unkown brother shoots
him each month.
*  Principal Victoria She is the principal of Southpark elementry
school, where all the kids go and chef works. She trys to teach the kids
lifes lessons eg dont come to school dressed as Adolf Hitler.
*  Kevin He is Maphaesto's little friend who follows him around. He
doesn't say anything and what he is exactly is unkown. He is protrayed
by Eric Roberts on America's Most Wanted.
*  Starvin Marvin He is a poor starving African who is sent to South
Park after the kids sign up to receive a watch. When Africa realizes
their error, they accidentally take Cartman back, leaving Starvin'
Marvin in America where he learns of our culture.
*  Visitors. These are extraterrestrial beings that give Cartman an anal
probe in the first episode and also mutalate cows. They pop up in
several episodes hideing behind things.
*  Bebe She is wendys best friend, she is a little blond girl who not
very much is known about. Bebe has only appered in a few episodesmof
Southpark.
*  Midgit Wearing bikini:The midgit wearing a bikini is an unusal
reporter for the news. His real name is unknown to us, he was the
reporter who reported on th pink eye outbreak.

[3.2] Quotes These are the most used quotes in southpark everone has heard them at least once.

Cartman:"I'm not fat I'm big boned!"
       :"Danm hippies"
       :"My mom said theres alot of black people in..."

Stan :"Oh my God they killed kenny!" :"Ready Ike, kick the baby"

Kyle :"You bastards!" :"Cartman your a big fas ass!"

Kenny :"mmmuuufflleee mmffulless"

Jimbo :"It's coming right for us" :"Damn Democrates"

Terrence: "I farted" Philip : "I farted"

[4.0] Kennys deaths

We all know that Kenny dies in nearly all the episodes of southpark, here is a list of how he died in each one including the episodes he didnt die in.

Episode 0: The Spirit Of Christmas Santa was fighting Jesus and threw two fans. One hit Kenny and it decapitated him. His head landed on a statue.

Episode 101: Cartman gets an anal probe Kenny gets hit by a alien laser beam and gets hit by a stampede of cows and then is ran over by Officer Barbradys car.

Episode 102: Weightgain 4000 He gets shot by Mr. Garrison, and his head flies in the air and runs down a flag pole.

Episode 103: The Volcano First, Kenny gets nailed by a flaming ball of lava. He does not die though. But later on, Ned drops his shot gun (which he said was out of ammo) and it fires and shoots Kenny.

Episode 104: Big gay Al' Big gay Boat ride Was decapitated by football players at Middle Park.

Episode 105: An Elephant makes Love to a Pig He gets thrown into a microwave by Stans evil clone.

Episode 106: Death Death killed Kenny. You could see Kenny's ghost float along with Death and Stans Great Great Grandpa.

Episode 107: Pink Eye First, the Mir Space Station fell on Kenny and he was killed. He was brought to the mourgeand he became a zombie there. He was going nuts and eating people, so Kyle took a chainsaw and killed him. Then, they showed Kenny's grave and stuff, and Kenny started coming back to life. But the grave fell on him and a plane crashed into him.

Episode 108: Starvin' Marvin He gets attacked my mutant turkeys.

Episode 109: Mr. Hanky The Christmas Poo Kenny lived! If you noticed....there were a few scenes where he was supposed to die...but he didnt!

Episode 110: Damien He was turned into a duck billed platypuss earlier in the show and at the end ned saw him and Jimbo said look its a duck billed platypuss its coming right for us. And than ned shot him up a couple of times.

Episode 111: Tom's Rhinoplasty Mrs. Ellen threw a sword straight at Kenny's little head.

Episode 112: Mecha Streisand Kenny kicked a tetherball thing and it swung around the pole and he got caught in the rope.He was stranged to death and was left hanging there.

Episode 113: Cartmans mom is a dirty slut Kenny was trying to pull start a go cart and all of a sudden it started.He was holding on to the pull start and he was dragged a ways down the street until he hit some train tracks. He sat for a second and then a train came and nailed him! it was great!

SEASON 2

Episode 201: cartmans mom is still a dirty slut Fried himself (on purpose) to get the power back on at the hospital so Cartman could find out who his father was.

Episode 202: Ikes bris Falls into an empty grave and then a tombstone lands on him.

Episode 203: chicken lover Kenny has many near death experiences in this episode. First, he almost gets crushed by a car during the riots. Second, he gets thrown against a brick wall in the school playground. Third, he gets wounded by the Chicken F*ckers gun. Finally, when the credits start showing, Kenny gets crushed by a tree.

Episode 204:conjoined fetus lady He gets squished against the wall after getting hit with a dodge ball by a Chinese player.

Epidsode 205 the mexican stareing frog of southern Sri Lanka On the talkshow Jesus and Pals, Kenny get's ripped in half by two angry audience members after a fight breaks out.

Episode 206: City on the edge of forever He gets eaten by a monster but, you'll notice that Kenny is still alive afterwards on the bus. I don't know what to tell you there.

Episode 207:Summer sucks The giant snake knocks some bleachers on top of Kenny.

Episode 208: Chefs salty chocolate balls kenny gets trampled by a crowd of people coming out of a theatre.

Episode 209: Chicken Pox kennys heart monitor gives a steady beep and u know what that means.

Episode 210 Roger Ebert should lay off the fatty foods His head explodes from the stars in the planetarium(or as dr.adams would say plane------arium)

Episode 211: Clubhouses Gets tromed on by teenagers in Catman's clubhouse

Episode 212: cow day While watching Catman Ride a bull, the bull came running to him and the bull's horn went through his head

Episode 213 :Chef Aid While at Chef Aid Ozzy Osborene came on stage and bit off Kenny's Head!

Episode 214: Spooky Fish Kenny was close to the goldfish's bowl and the fish bit his head off!

[5.0] Song Words

Can't remember that damn last line? Don't know the words to a particular song? Read below

THEME SONG Les: I'm going down to South Park, gonna have my self a time, Stan and Kyle: Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptations. Les: Going down to South Park gonna leave my whoes behind, Cartman: Ample parking day or night people spouting "howdy neighbor", Les: Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwined. Kenny:<*> this line is muffled and there are a few versions </*> Les: Comeon down to South Park and meet some friends of mine.

KYLES MOM IS A BITCH SONG Oooooh, Klye's mom is a bitch, She's a big fat bitch,she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, she's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls. On Moday she's a bitch on tuesday she's a bitch, on Wednesday through Saturday she's a bitch, And than on Sunday just to be different,she's a super King-kong maya maya bitch-ca Have you ever met my friend kyle's mom, She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, she's a mean ole bitch and she has stupid hair, She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, she's a stupid bitch, Kyles mom's a bitch, yes she is a dirty bitch, Kyle's moms a biiittttchhhhhhh, Cha!!!

I'M A LONELY JEW Its hard to be a Jew on Christmas My friends won't let me join in any games And I can't sing Christmas songs Or decorate a Christmas tree Or leave water out for Rudolph 'Cause there's something wrong with me. My people don't beleive in Jesus Christ divinity

I'm a jew. A loney Jew. On Christmas.

Hanuka is nice, but why is it, That Santa passes over my house every year And instead of eating Ham I have to eat kosher Latkas Instead of silent night I'm singing, "Hoo Hach Do Gaveev" And what the [beep] is up with lighting all these [beep]ing candles tell me please. I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew I'd be merry, but I'm Hebrew On Christmas.

CARTMANS GERMAN DANCE SONG I will do the German dance for you It's fun and gay and tra-la-la I hope you will enjoy my dance Fiddle-ee-i, Fiddle-ee-i-ay,

Would you like some sauerkraut German boy, German boy Yes, I'd like some sauerkraut-

[6.0] South Park Stuff

Southpark is sweeping the world with its name on tons of different merchendise, its got is own game and a movie is soon to be released. This section will tell you all about these things.

[6.1] Merchendise

[6.2] South Park the game

[6.3] The Movie

[6.4] The Album "Chef Aid"

[7.0]
[8.0]

--------------------------- My Suggestions... Some good websites The Rules of the newsgroup Something about trolls Something about the pledge and the flame form something about FANFICs -------------------------- We could have the best FAQ in the land if we all contribute our stuff! I will also put the finished FAQ on my website at www.thedon.demon.co.uk

--------This is as far as I've gotten so far but I'm proud of it!------- - Daniel Donnelly [email] www.thedon.demon.co.uk

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BitchMomDan

Yo dude, where have you been the last couple of weeks? Covenant has been working on the FAQ for a week or so. Give your ideas to him please.

BitchMom Visit #alt.tv.southpark on Dalnet ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Point your java enabled browser to http://www.members.tripod.com/TheSilverRaven/sp_chat.htm ++++++OR++++++ Start your chat program Choose IRC Network Dalnet When you get connected, type in /join #alt.tv.southpark

SteveDan

"Super King Kamehameha bitch-ah." King Kamehameha was a Hawaiian king.

SteveSteve

Actually he says "beeyotch" here, not "bitch-ah". My bad.

King Kamehameha ruled in Hawaii from 1796 to 1819. He conquered and unified the Hawaiian islands under one rule (previously each island had its own ruler & they were independent.)

Hawaii still celebrates King Kamehameha Day each June 11.

One of the US Navy's submarines (SSN642) is named Kamehameha. It's port of call is in Hawaii, appropriately enough.

This info is just so you don't think I'm making it up ;)

Jeff PlasSteve

Also, Mr Hat was never kidnapped. He ran away. ANd Mr Hat's "replacment" was Mr. Twig. Not "twiggy".

Jeff

CovenantJeff Plas

Dan, As has been stated before I've been working on a new FAQ and was hoping to create a web page to host it.

As far as the mini you posted.. Well... *I* feel that you are concentrating too much on details that an FAQ would not need, (e.g. Character personalities etc. A BRIEF description is fair enough.. but hey...)

Also, I AM wondering why you chose to post this in the first place. You signed the Pledge so you've been here for the past few weeks and therefore *must* have seen my post regarding the FAQ I was creating.

My FAQ is for the NG only, and will cover VERY briefly most things South Parkian, espec. the Q's that most newbies ask. Once the site is running I shall have separate pages for Lyrics, Links, Episode Lists, etc...

Bud, if you wanna carry on with what you are doing, then go right ahead, but I *shall* be drawing your attention to the mistakes... (Just on my v. brief look... Klyes mom... KingKongMayaMaya...)

The FAQ, I feel, is a very important thing for the NG, it should save a lot of time an trouble (and tempers) for the regs and bring new members in more easily (And save Jeff from a brain haemorrhage.. ; ' p Jeff !!)

Therefore I feel it should be next to damn perfect.. (Hey I'm not saying *I* am perfect...)

Okay I'll admit it.. I'm a little pissed off about this...

Dunno what to do now guys!!!!

Dan, if you wanna help ME with the NG's FAQ then please fee free to mail me. (I'm sure there are things you know that I don't and perhaps vice versa, but I SHALL be putting the FAQ to the group before the website is broadcast.) But if you wanna go ahead with your own.. well.. that's freedom of speech I suppose. Only the NG will judge...

Cheers all Covenant. A Man With Far Too Much Time On His Hands Who Is Wondering If One Avenue Of Filling It Is Closing...

BitchMomCovenant

"Covenant" wrote:

Yo dude, I'm behind you 100%!! <just don't bend over honey!!>

BitchMom Visit #alt.tv.southpark on Dalnet ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Point your java enabled browser to http://www.members.tripod.com/TheSilverRaven/sp_chat.htm ++++++OR++++++ Start your chat program Choose IRC Network Dalnet When you get connected, type in /join #alt.tv.southpark

CovenantBitchMom

BitchMom - remove MY to email me wrote in message ...

Wooah dude!  Sick!!!!
(Yet strangely alluring..................................)

Heeheehee!!!!!! Covenant. A Man With Far Too Much Time On His Hands And A Healthy Rrspect For A Woman Who Takes The Lead!!! (Heh!)

DanCovenant

Wow slow down Covenant, I didnt mean to rain on your parade. I'm sorry but I did NOT realise that you were working on an FAQ. I was just going to post a temporary one and let someone else make a real one(but I got a bit over enthusiastic once I started). And if you are making one I know it would be better than any I could make, I mean I doubt I know half as much as you do about SP or this NG in general.(Im in the UK and haven't even seen all of Season2 yet)+(I spelt TREY wrong on my tree. Doh). And I back you all the way on your FAQ.(when will it be posted?). Anyway I'll just go and bury my head in the sand.

Sorry everyone (I'd better catch up on some of those requested headers damn turnpike why does it only collect headers, its Not set to browse?)

My attempt wasnt that Bad was it?... OK it was it didnt have any Qs or
As and it was a bit wrong but no matter in the the Re-cycle bin as a
type.
Look forward to reading the FAQ in the future mate.
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