Where is Toni?

Whew! finally we found Jeff, but where is Toni? she didn't mail anything for the last 2 days, that's unusual for her,

Where are you Toni?

James

She's in San Diego. she mentioned it in chat last week.

Ash AIM-AshRead ICQ-26921582 Sister of Carmel " Dreams unwind. Love's a state of mind."

AshRead wrote:

Wow Ash, I can't believe you remembered that! :) Hell, I don't even remember mentioning that when we chatted. Hehehehe good memory you've got there.

-Toni

Oh oh oh oh oh.......should I answer this one!? Man...I'll refrain, as Toni would probably rip my nutsack off.... lol

LOL!!! Erm, no one on this ng needs to know the crazy sh*t I did this weekend! <blushes>

-Toni

Rare Hero wrote:

In article ,

well you intrigue me, Toni! what did you do :-)

James

[email] wrote:

Well, basically, due to four very strong jello shots, 2 Coronas, a rum/punch mixture, and my wish to escape reality for a while since I was 3 hours away from home, I made out -heavily- with a guy I met at my best friend's birthday party in front of everyone. To top it off, I messed around with him some more later. Luckily for me it didn't go any further! And believe me, I'm never gonna do something like this again! I'm not like that normally.

-Toni

................???!!!!.....

James is speechless!

(apologies to Toni for reposting this...but you know, I don't drink alcohol for a really good reason. This, among many others, is probably the main one)

Never having been in such a position (on either side), I'm intrigued.

I mean seriously. What am I supposed to do in a situation like this? Should I just "let" it all happen and just promise not to tell her when she's sober? That might be a bad idea, considering she'd probably find out from her friends anyway.

As much as I'd like to think I'm a decent guy, somehow, it wouldn't be prudent to just spur her advances and let her go off with some guy who is going to take her to his place and do whatever do her?

Or is it just one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenarios?

Peace, Vince Yim

OBSouthPark: Pop culture refs in the Iceman episode include ID4, Fargo, Marilyn Manson (singing Stinky Britches), Ace of Base's "All that She Wants", and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (specifically, Kenny's death sequence mirrors a scene in IJatToD where some guy gets crushed in a conveyor belt). The inclusion of "All that She Wants" is slightly erroneous though...that song was big in 1994, not 1996.

Hiro Protagonist wrote:

To be honest, I think it was more than just the alcohol that spurred me to do this. I just wanted to do something crazy, to not be me for a little while. It was my break from reality.

Actually, I was very aware of everything I did that night. I remember everything that happened. It was more of I wasn't in the right mind set to be thinking straight.

Erhm, in my case, I didn't make any advances to him- he was the one who initiated it.

-Toni

Toni:

You know, all the sudden people starts to talk about your private life and forget this is a discussion group for SP!!

James

In article , [email] wrote:

OT posts are cool. For instance, I got dumped today. DAMMIT! :)

Martin Hazelbower wrote:

Martin, are you serious? Damn! My roomate was right- it's breakup season!

-Toni

In article , Toni wrote:

wrote:

Yup. Oh well. We're still friends, and life goes on.

Martin Hazelbower wrote:

That's a healthy attitude to have Martin. Good for you :)

-Toni

In article , [email] (Martin Hazelbower) wrote:

life and

You didn't get the "you're a great guy, but ..." speech, did you? I always hated that one. It always seemed to be too much of a paradox.

Dain of the Iron Hills wrote:

<snippity-snip>

Ah, I love OT.

But seriously, if you ask me, you're probably better off. Having never been in a relationship, I am never going to have the incessant questions like, "How does this look on me, honey?" "How does my hair look?" "Oh, god...there's my ex...quick! Pretend that you're my boyfriend!"

And then, there are the two things that every man dreads to hear: 1: Repeat after me: "I'm Ready For Commitment." aaaaaand 2: "Honey, do I look fat to you?"

Okay, okay. Bitter realization that the member of the opposite sex who I had something more of a passing interest in made it clear to me that she wasn't looking for relationship and I'm feeling kinda jaded right now. I mean, I'd like to THINK that I'm slightly better than the losers that she used to date (at least the way she describes them to me), but I get the impression we'd make each other miserable anyway.

<sigh>

Peace, Vince Yim

Now THIS one I CAN answer!!!!!!!!

(Not that ANY of these apply to the delectable Toni OR MY Love-Life!!!!)

Hiro Protagonist wrote in message ...

season!

Hey... there's nothing wrong with commitment!!! You just have to know how to deal with it!!!

AND NOW>>> FOR YOUR DELECTATION................

The Teach Yourself Guide to answering your sweetheart's questions

It is Saturday, a crisp spring afternoon, and you're exactly where you should be: stretched out on the couch in front of a televised sporting event, opening beer number two, relaxed in the knowledge that the pizza you ordered is even now on its way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger Television.

Suddenly your girlfriend enters the room and says, "Do I look fat?"

**There is no answer to this question that won't be interpreted "yes".**

"No" means yes. "Yes" means yes. "I don't know" means yes. "It doesn't matter" means yes. The briefest hint of a pause before speaking means yes, yes, yes. Most of us would rather take our degrees again than field this one, yet it may well come up several times a week. Your only real choice is to say no, clearly and immediately, leaving no possibility for any subtext, and making it sound like a widely acknowledged fact and not simply your opinion. This doesn't work, but all the other options are worse. There are several other questions for which "no" is the only answer, and several more that call for an emphatic and unqualified yes. In all of these cases, elaboration, justification or any attempt to be funny is unlikely to pay off. Consult this handy chart: JUST SAY NO Is there someone else? Do you still fantasise about her? Are you tired of me?

JUST SAY YES Do you still love me? Do you ever fantasise about me? Do you like my hair this way?

Unfortunately, many female inquiries require more than a simple yes or no response. Some of them are more like riddles. Such as this one:

"Which shoes look better?" This raises the question of why she's asking you at all. She knows you don't know which shoes look better, and she knows you don't care, so why is she trying to elicit your opinion? This is part of an ongoing campaign to domesticate you. Suggest that she try on the other shoes, then tell her the first ones look better. This lets you more or less off the hook, as long as you don't raise a fuss when she decides that the second pair are better after all. On no account suggest another dress. You might as well say, "You're fat."

"Where do you see this relationship going?" This could be described as an essay question, since you're obviously not going to get away with snappy little answers such as "forward" or "upstairs" or "I dunno". She wants a heartfelt expression of your feelings and an honest assessment of your future together, and you want an easier question. There is certainly no point in answering a toe-curling query like this one without at least a rough idea of precisely what it is she wants to hear. Questions such as this one are a category unto themselves, i.e. questions that should be answered with another question. See how easily some of the more difficult leading inquiries can be parried through the simple deployment of reflexive interrogation. HER: "Where do you see this relationship going?" YOU: "Where do *you* see this relationship going?" HER: "Do you think she's attractive?" YOU: "Who?" HER: "Will you marry me?" YOU: "Where am I?" HER: "What if I were pregnant?" YOU: "Are you pregnant?" HER: "Why? Do I look fat?" Whoops! We're in a bit of trouble here. You should have seen that coming. Try a more surreal approach: HER: What if I were pregnant? YOU: What if I were pregnant? At the very least it gives you time to think up a better answer. Some all-purpose question-answers include: How much is a lot? Why do you ask? Should I be? What are you saying? Does it matter? What's love gotta do with it? Are you talking to me? (Note: Are you having your period? is not one of these.) Let's try a math question.

"How many people have you slept with?" Hmmmmm....Now, you can tell her the truth, unless the truth is more than 12, or you can have a guess at the number she's more or less expecting. If the result is greater than 12, then say 12. Let's move on.

"Are you saying you want to end it?" Women, like lawyers, rarely ask a direct question, unless they already know what the answer will be. As for women lawyers, I don't know what they do, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know. The point is, when a woman asks you this question, she knows you're going to say no. Even if you want to say yes, you'll say no. You can't turn the question back on her, because you have no idea what her answer is going to be. If you are trying to break up with her, you'll have to say no and start the whole painful process again. If you aren't trying to break up with her, then it's best to change the subject. Let's try something easier.

"Notice anything different about me?" Well, slightly easier. Apart from being a question that is easier to answer wrong than right, it is best treated in an ironic post-modern context; HER: "Notice anything different about me?" YOU: "New apron?" HER: "Have you forgotten what today is?" YOU: "Of course not. It's Thursday" HER: "Have you been listening to a word I've said?" YOU: "That's nice, dear..."

Funny, huh? Well, it's not your fault if she doesn't get it. If she wants a better answer, she's going to have to start asking better questions. Questions such as: "Have you taken a look at yourself lately?" This question and its cousin, the almost always uncalled for "Who do you think you are?", are ways of gently reminding you how much of a factor pity was in her original decision to go out with you, and how that decision could be rescinded if you behave in any way that cannot be described as abject. You probably brought this rebuke on yourself by mentioning that you reckon Brad Pitt is getting a little chubby or by speculating that Jack Nicholson doesn't have to wait until his birthday for oral sex. You're not really supposed to answer either of these questions. You're just supposed to apologise for your wanton Self-esteem-having. Instead of apologising, just smile. Your manifold inadequacies as a boyfriend - nay, as a man - are a kind of revenge all by themselves. Next!

"Do you believe in fidelity?" Like most philosophical questions that seem to pop up out of the blue, this question doesn't pop up out of the blue. This general query about fidelity is in fact a coded inquiry about the extent of your fidelity on a specific occasion or occasions. Your response will also have to be coded. Consult this translation chart before giving your answer: 1. YOU SAY - "Yes" YOU MEAN - How much does she know? SHE THINKS - He's hiding something

2. YOU SAY - "It depends" YOU MEAN - How much does she know? SHE THINKS - I knew it!

3. YOU SAY - "Why do you ask?" YOU MEAN - How much does she know? SHE THINKS - Bastard!

4. YOU SAY - "I dunno. Do you?" YOU MEAN - How much does she know? SHE THINKS - How much does he know?

By the time she asks you this question, you're already in deep trouble. It doesn't really matter what you say, as long as you don't blush when you an answer. Let's look at an example that calls for more straightforward lying.

"What are you looking at?" She means, "You were looking at that girl, weren't you?" And you thought you'd perfected that trick of keeping your neck still and just letting your eyes swivel. Obviously, the truth is not the best answer here. We all know that the truth can set you free, sometimes before you've found somewhere else to stay. It may seem easy enough to answer this question with a cunning lie, but when men are caught off-guard, their ability to deceive is impaired. Here are a few of the more common mistakes men make when asked, "What are you looking at?" 1. TOO SPECIFIC: "The rust around the bolts on the handle on the flap of that mailbox on the northwest corner". 2. NOT SPECIFIC ENOUGH: "That thing." 3. TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE: "A diamond necklace in that window back there that would be perfect on you". 4. TOO TRUE TO BE GOOD: "A see-through nightie in that window back there that would be perfect on you." 5. TOO OBVIOUS: "Nothing." 6. WAY TOO OBVIOUS: "That blonde babe over there with the big...I mean nothing." Here's one that requires a little interpretation.

"Should I get my hair cut?" If you say anything, then when she does get it cut (and let's face it, she's already made up her mind) and she hates it (and she will hate it), it will be your fault. Even if you say absolutely nothing, the best you can hope for is that she will come home with all her hair cut off, stare you straight in the eye and say: "Does it make me look fat?" - You're on your own.

Follow these fairly simple rules and your life will be as turbulent as always.... But at least you'll know WHY!!!!!!!!

Cheers!! Covenant. A Man With Far Too Much Time And Experience On His Hands

As the last cliffhanging episode of alt.tv.southpark came to an end, "Covenant" wrote:

Holy shit this one is going to take some time to respond to. :-)

Uh huh, sure, right.

Untrue. There are only two reasons a woman asks this question: Something (whether it's your lack of attention or a pair of pants don't fit) caused her to 'feel' fat. Or she's just looking for some comforting.

She just wants some input dude. Chill out.

Actually, I think the first two comments were funny :-)

Well yea duh! I mean we are built that way silly. If you only want sex, go buy it from a prostitute.

Hehe, you must be Irish.

HOLY SHIT DUDE! You ARE Irish!! haahhahaaha. (in case you people didn't know, the Irish always answer a question with a question.)

Actually, it would be nice if you guys knew enough about what we look like (other then naked in bed) to notice things like having 6 inches of our hair chopped off. :-P

Actually I would laugh. *Then* I'd kick his ass. :-)

hahahhaha, paranoid aren't you? hehehe. Actually, If *I* were to ask that question, it would be because *I've* found a tasty morsel that I'd like to taste :-) Kinda gives a different perspective on what you think we think huh?

Um, it's usually because she feels you are bored with her appearance and is trying to get some idea of what the hell you think of her looks.

All in all, I was pretty impressed with the level of knowledge of woman in general. Most men have about 5% understanding while you seem to have a whooping 15% :-)

BitchMom WebMistress of Billzhouse.com Founder of #alt.tv.southpark ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ For all your SouthPark needs visit http://www.billzhouse.com ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Visit #alt.tv.southpark on Dalnet Point your java enabled browser to: http://www.members.tripod.com/TheSilverRaven/sp_chat.htm Or connect with mIRC or pIRCh, choose IRC Network Dalnet When you get connected, type in /join #alt.tv.southpark *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* remove MY to email me

Hahaha, maybe you have under-estimated him!

Thank you Ram!!! I dunno if you meant iy as a compliment.. But it WAS!!!!!

Covenant. A Man With Far Too Much Time On His Hands

Alt.Tv.Southpark FAQ: http://www.angelfire.com/oh/joesfaqforsp/

Ram wrote in message ...

Actually BM... This entire thing IS written from a male chauvanist POV... I thought you'd know me enough to know I really WAS making a joke of it ; ' )

(But maybe you were too and *I* didn't get it????)

WHERE U BEEN recently!!!!! No IRC... No ICQ.....

Where's My BitchMom!!! Where's My Silver Raven..... (Where's my cheesy poofs..............)

Covenant. A Man With Far Too Much Time On His Hands And A Really Good Understanding Of Women Actually >Sulk...<

As the last cliffhanging episode of alt.tv.southpark came to an end, "Covenant" wrote:

I been sick :-( <sneeze, cough...>

BitchMom WebMistress of Billzhouse.com Founder of #alt.tv.southpark ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ For all your SouthPark needs visit http://www.billzhouse.com ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Visit #alt.tv.southpark on Dalnet Point your java enabled browser to: http://www.members.tripod.com/TheSilverRaven/sp_chat.htm Or connect with mIRC or pIRCh, choose IRC Network Dalnet When you get connected, type in /join #alt.tv.southpark *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* remove MY to email me

Stay warm, drink plenty of liquids and watch lots of South Park!

Drink plenty of water, sleep more and have some Vitamin tablet, this is the most effective method. Ar... yes, watch more South Park! (Blood circulation can run more fluently.)

Ram wrote in message <[email] t>...

AKSHULEY!!!!!!!

If it's blood flowing quicker that you need BM.. then I MAY have a bit of advice on THAT front!!!!

Heeheehee ;'P

Covenant. A Man With Far Too Much Time On His Hands

3: "Hon, do u love me?"

Not for me hehehehe!!

James

In article , Martin Hazelbower writes

Too right. I found out today that the girl I thought was going to send me a Valentine, isn't going to, and I actually REALLY like her! Doh....

As the last cliffhanging episode of alt.tv.southpark came to an end, Mike Jakeman wrote:

Charlie Brown? <giggle>

BitchMom WebMistress of Billzhouse.com Founder of #alt.tv.southpark ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ For all your SouthPark needs visit http://www.billzhouse.com ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Visit #alt.tv.southpark on Dalnet Point your java enabled browser to: http://www.members.tripod.com/TheSilverRaven/sp_chat.htm Or connect with mIRC or pIRCh, choose IRC Network Dalnet When you get connected, type in /join #alt.tv.southpark *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* remove MY to email me

Ehhh....everyone out there with the unrequited love, break-ups, etc. don't feel bad! You're looking at the one person of the group with the least luck in love ever! <spotlight on Kyle Broslofski> So, y'all out there that don't have anyone for around Valentine's Day.....REVOLUTION!!!! Yeah....<scratches head> Ok...just felt like being insane! ;P

Nonono, that'd be *me*, Kyle dear..boyfriends, nonexistant, crushes on me, as far as I know nonexistant, one guy asked me to dance at some school thingy for Halloween, and I'm just a wee thing at the moment so nobody on *this* newsgroup is going to ask me out...not like I want them to anyway <g> but..love is awesome. All you people who have it, never take it for granted.

-Kim (trying to sound like she knows what she's talking about..)

No kidding Kim? Wanna go out for a drink or two?

James :-)

<blushes> Why James, I didn't know you cared..now all I have to do is fly over and make a fake ID...or not.

-Kim (out of interest, just what state *are* you in?)

<g> I'm the same way. I mean, other than TPing Casa de Jake, what can I do for valentines day? <g> umm..Watch Cannibal? good idea Ash. But anyhow, who says Valentines day is just about *romantic* love?

Ashley

AIM-AshRead ICQ-26921582 Sister of Carmel " Dreams unwind. Love's a state of mind."

In article , ZoeHeris writes

That's alright for you to say! You have time on your hands! We're getting on, I'm 14 soon! AAAGGGGHHHH!

And succeeding!

In article , [email] (ZoeHeris) wrote:

newsgroup

Eh, I hate love. It always crawls up your ass and you're like, 'hey, love, get the hell outta my ass!' But it doesn't. :P

the_davester nirvanasongs @ yahoo.com http://www.geocities.com/~dgisoft/nirvana/ "Love is like a black hole... you don't know you're near it until you're sucked in"

I kind of felt the same way. When I'm really too busy for love , love knocks my door, when I have time for love, love left me with an empty room!

James

Hmmm, this NG is getting more or less like "alt.breakupstory" I will share my experience last year with all of you as well by using Kennyese: mmummmmummummmmuumumuumummumumuummhmhmhmhmhmmhhhhmmmmmmmmhhmhmhm

James

Martin Hazelbower wrote in message ...

Awhh man...... Jeez... What can I say.... (She obviously wasn't worth it dude!!!!)

THAT'S better!!!!!!

Covenant. A Man With Far Too Much Time On His Hands

It's what happens where there are no new episodes- people get bored! Hehehehe *shrug*

-Toni

[email] wrote:

Well, at least we have the fanfics to keep us from rioting! :-)

Steve "lurking silently" Sutton Springfield, GA

everything

straight.

I dunno....you didn't seem aware that like 30 people were watching you tongue jockey.....nor did you seem aware that I was snapping pictures....hehehehehee

Rare Hero wrote:

Ummmm I knew a bunch of people were watching, and yeah I did see that flash when you took the pictures...at the time I just didn't care! *shrug*

-Toni

Yo Greg!

Any chances for you scan that picture and send it here?? :-) just kidding! :-)

James

hehe...I don't even know who's camera it was on! I just thought it would be funny to pretend I was a pornographer....hehehe...well, a G-rated pornographer.

I almost puked that night...not from alcohol mind you, I was sober....I had to watch these exibitionists! hehehe....oh well, I took some pictures....now who the hell's camera was I using? *grin*

Rare Hero wrote:

LOL!!!! Heheheh yeah you just HAD to take pictures didn't ya??? Man I don't know whose camera you used, but I gotta get a hold of those pics!!

-Toni

Now I GOTTA see what you look like!
Still got that pic you offered to send out last week?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
                        [email]
          (Hammer nail here--> <-- for a new monitor.)
Seinfeld FAQ http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Set/7217/faq.html
-----------------------------------------------------------------

weekend!

Tell me Toni, I've got time! <grins even though the joke is wearing thin quickly>

Cronos

Cronos wrote:

I'll tell you if you privately email me....I tried emailing you about it but something seemed to be wrong with your email.

-Toni

In article ,

huh?

James

So did you have a nice trip? how was San Diego?

James

[email] wrote:

Uhm, it was a lot of fun! I went there for my best friend's birthday party and got wasted. I went to the beach with some friends and chilled there for a while too. It was great-I did things that I would not normally do, but now I'm back in the land of reality, in my boring normal life with school and work :P

-Toni

Toni wrote in message ...

DETAILS!!!!!!!
TONI !!!!!

DEEEETAAAAIIILLLLLLSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Covenant. A Man With Far Too Much Time On His Hands

Oh man, I totally screwed up now. I just accidentally sent something which should have been private to the NG!!!!!!!!!

<hits her head on the door 50 times>

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Since it's kinda pointless to ask that ya'll don't read it, let me just say that what I did this weekend was a crazy, insane escape from reality thing and DOES NOT in any way reflect how I really am as a person. I'm not easy and I'm not a slut, and I will never do something like that again!!! Honest!!!! It was a one time thing.....so let's just move on and continue discussing South Park, mmmkay?

-Toni (blushing furiously, as now 100 other people will know what she did this weekend)

Toni wrote:

huh-huh (quoting Nelson Muntz)

As the last cliffhanging episode of alt.tv.southpark came to an end, Toni wrote:

Next time when you see you made that mistake, try to QUICKLY cancel the message. Sometimes you can get it before others have downloaded it :-)

Queen of canceled messages BitchMom WebMistress of Billzhouse.com Founder of #alt.tv.southpark ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ For all your SouthPark needs visit http://www.billzhouse.com ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Visit #alt.tv.southpark on Dalnet Point your java enabled browser to: http://www.members.tripod.com/TheSilverRaven/sp_chat.htm Or connect with mIRC or pIRCh, choose IRC Network Dalnet When you get connected, type in /join #alt.tv.southpark *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* remove MY to email me

BitchMom wrote:

Actually, I think I've tried doing that before but it doesn't seem to work....damn Netscape mail is just too fast for me :P

-Toni

In article , Toni wrote:

It happens to the best of us (but not me, er, at least not on this NG ... yet).

That's GOTTA hurt! You may want to apply a little ice on that, Toni (I meant her *head* ... jeez, some of you are so twisted I can pick up on your potential replies before I even post, shame on you! <g>)

Hey, I've been in that situation before ... well not quite THAT situation, I mean I've never made out with a guy (nor have I ever had the desire to ... I honestly don't see how you women can do it <g>, not that I'm complaining <don't hurt me guys>), but I have gotten completely whacked and made out with women I hadn't met before at a party or two (this was years ago, BTW, I'm much more sensible now ... kinda ... sorta ... well maybe a little ... but I don't make out with strange women that I don't know anymore (strange women I DO know would be another matter entirely <g>)). And Toni, never say never, as it's a direct challenge to Murphy's Law, and Murphy's Law always wins (unless it succumbs to Murphy's Law, in which case, I guess it still wins <g>).

Dain of the Iron Hills wrote:

Yeah but.....in public????????

Hehehe ah well....at least I can hope it never happens again :P

-Toni

In article , Toni wrote:

Well, once ... or so I was told ... I don't remember much of that night in truth, but the next six months were great (Geneva and I stayed together for that period of time, even though I couldn't remember that first night).

In article ,

Huh?

Did Toni actually send this message?? :-) don't worry Toni! I will look up your e-mail address as my answer on what you did this weekend!! TRUST NO ONE!!

James

In article ,

This reminded me of that crappy movie " I know what you did last summer" A few young people went out together and did some crazy things.

Except this case no one dies!

James

James